#q3_2022

i am lucky, even now.

given how much risk i let loose, i am still here. with greater expenditures. but still lucky. so many times where i could have ended or ended another, and yet i’m still here. unscathed. faced with two polite and kind individuals who have suffered from my mistakes. i want this to humble me, not embolden. learn, not give myself an excuse to continue shite traits.

quick and easy pleasures abound. a rush of dopamine.

but no more, i hope. i yearn for simplicity. a clear mind. good sleep. good shifts. i don’t need moments of clarity born out of guilt for being under.