#pyromanicprince

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may be bad internet connection

5th GIF is your life 5 years ago:

touGH AS BALLS, MAN NGL

8th is your life right now:

now, i've never! you dare ask a bum such inquiry? you dare suggest i talk about my proletarian thug lyfe, so you can rub your diamond rings in my eyes? you shall not be allowed to patronize, the proletarians will rise

24th is how your life will be in 5 years:

lol

22nd is your first boyfriend:

no i don't want him i want kristen stewart

29th is how your relationship will end:

so the story goes thus: mr evans pulls his dick out and i think how many money can i earn from selling pics of that on tumblr and when i think of tumblr i think of hot celebrities and when i think of hot celebs i think of kristen stewart and b4 evans can even process what's happening i'm fangirling my way into the fifth dimension. evans decides i'm not worth it and it's goodbye short love story. i pay his ticket back to america bc i'm a gentleman. we remain friends and i send him postcards w/ pics of his dick sometimes

32nd is your future husband:

...I COULD LIVE WITH THIS

42nd is you on your wedding day:

:'D noa i think this is a sign from heaven. 'kay the wedding day ends with me and noa eloping, and Major Alex Louis Armstrong is ok with it bc he's cooler than all ur faves

19th is your mother/father-in-law:

noa i didn't realise elijah wood was your dad. you said he looked creepy. i didn't know yoU SHARED THIS BOND.

39th is you finding out you are pregnant:

"waka-san. we gon have babies."

11 is your husband’s reaction to the pregnancy:

no need to overreACT YOU DICK

34th is your first child:

okay actual lol'ing at this point wtf. WAKA IT SEEMS OUR GENES DON'T COOPERATE WELL

27th is the family pet:

if i get home to this thing lying on the couch i will: 1) ask my dear husband where the flying fuck he got a real life pokemon, and 2) start making up new and better family-games for christmas

31 is your reaction to the kids leaving home:

has my genetically spastic child left the building?? ? good, it's time to have all-nighter gamer sessions with my husband. never sleep. nutella all around.

10th is your 25th wedding anniversary:

feelings at seeing noa as an old grumpy fuck :') beautiful

Last is you on your death bed: