#pvmproblems

We all know that vet school is very challenging, but this is what we signed up for when we decided to become veterinarians. You go in knowing that it will be difficult but you have the goal in front of you and you think that nothing will get in your way.

Then suddenly the unthinkable happens and you fail and your mind is thrown into chaos.

End of the fall semester, that is what happened to me. It was the end of finals, I was exhausted and stressed. I took the last final of the week, but I wasn’t expecting to get the grade back immediately. I had failed the final and failed the class. I had studied the material, I thought I knew the material, and yet I failed. I felt destroyed. I sat in the hallway in complete shock, trying to hold back tears unsuccessfully. I was lucky to have friends around me right then to help me deal with the immediate blow, but I still felt a pit in my stomach.

I went back to my apartment, packed clothes for break, and left as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to stay around town. I drove back home to my fiancee’s house where I would be spending break. I spent that first evening holding back tears while she tried to cheer me up and take my mind off of what had happened. I will tell you, it helps immensely to have the ones you love around you when something like this happens.

The following weeks involved telling family and friends what happened and how that would affect me. I hated having to tell the story over and over again, but I couldn’t bring myself to lie about it. But with the truth came even more support.

I began the remediation process once they sent me the email about it. I would be able to continue in the 3rd year but I would not immediately go into the 4th year clinicals. I would have to miss the first two block and pending passing the remediation exam for the class I didn’t pass, I would then start 4th year on the 3rd block. I get to walk with my class at graduation, but I have to do 2 more blocks after graduation.

So, when I came back to school, I worked my butt off in that second semester and even had one of the best semesters of my vet school experience. In hindsight, I suppose that was the easy part. The hard part was seeing my classmates go on while I had to wait.

It may seem beneficial to have 6 weeks off before the start of 4th year, but let me tell you, this has been the worst 6 weeks. Not because anything bad happened, but because when you have this much time spent studying and waiting to move on, you get this huge sense of doubt that hangs around you. If anything, this past 6 weeks made my depression and anxiety way worse. I went home a lot to be with my fiancee to get my mind off of what was happening because being at school while classmates were doing amazing things was terrible. I saw friends and family during this time and they helped me to feel so much better. 

With help, I pushed through, I studied, and prepared to take my test. And I passed with an A on the remediation exam. It is an unbelievable sense of relief to be able to finally move forward.

This brings me to the point of all of the this. Failing is never the end, but it isn't easy either. They teach us a lot in vet school, but they never teach you how to deal with failing. So if you find yourself in a similar situation, here is my advice.

1.) Take a deep breath. This isn’t the end of the world even though I know it feels like it.

2.) Surround yourself with your friends and family. They will love you and care about you no matter what. Talk to them about how you are feeling and they will support you.

3.) If the stress, anxiety, and depression are hard to deal with, seek professional help. There is no shame in seeking the help of a psychiatrist/psychologist. It DOES NOT mean you are weak, it means you are human. 

4.) Remember that you got into vet school for a reason. You are amazing, smart, and your love for animals is going to take you into an amazing career.

Life has road bumps and sometimes you will fall down. But it is like they say, the failing isn’t in the falling down, the failure is not getting back up. Remember, you are not alone in this. Your friends, family, and classmates are all there to help you get back on your feet and give you the push you need to carry on. You will get there and you will be an amazing doctor.

On Monday I officially start 4th year, and i couldn’t be happier.