#purrincesscatitude

1. favorite fic you wrote this year

I debated this for like...hours once. I’ve asked people. I’ve begged them to give me answers. I’ve pleaded with them. I’ve tried to come up with a creative answer. But ultimately it is and will likely continue to be

opening is just the start

3. favorite line/scene you wrote this year

From my third favorite child it’s not easy to be happy (get away with it) (chapter 5)

The moment comes, alarmingly enough, as they’re standing in a Whole Foods supermarket. Because Newt doesn’t have a car and because Hermann can’t trust Newt to buy real groceries for himself, he offers to take him to the grocery store with him. Shopping with Newt is often very similar to shopping with a small child, he puts his hands on everything and debates for long moments between food items. Hermann will write him a list that he’s almost insistent on deviating from, even though he requests the list himself.Newt’s in the middle of gently squeezing two oranges, comparing between the two of them. He’s clearly too intent on this, sticking out the tip of his tongue and he looks absurd. They are both acceptable, no doubt. Hermann’s struck by the moment, though, Newt with his worn leather jacket and his worn but gentle hands. It’s something that he’s going to remember, perhaps because of the way he feels, or perhaps because of how alarming the moment is.This feeling is warm and it’s something Hermann thinks he’d like to carry with him for the rest of his life.

24. favorite fic you read this year

“you know what i always wanted to do?” newton asks.

he’s leaning against one of the many messy desks in hermann’s office, not quite sitting on it. hermann’s not certain but he thinks it’s the desk that is home to the picture of the two of them taken just after the first war.

“what?” hermann asks.

there’s an endless list of answers to the question. so many opportunities stolen. it’s difficult not to be melancholy all of the time, though surely less difficult for him than newton, and so he tries to stave off the mood, as best he can, as frequently as he can.

he walks over to newton and reaches out. newton stands and, startling hermann a little, steps into him, wrapping his arms around hermann’s waist, resting his chin on his shoulder.

“what?” hermann prompts again, running a hand up the length of his back, settling it in his hair.

“it’s silly,” newton says, “but we always had music playing in the lab, so...”

he shifts his hands on hermann’s back so that he’s not hugging him so much as holding him, straightens up and shifts his feet apart a little. hermann can’t tell if it’s conscious or not.

“ah,” he says quietly.

it’s still startling, this revelation that his feelings had been reciprocated so long ago, that newton had them sooner. that newton spent time imagining being together, as they worked on their separate sides of the lab. that he pictured them slow dancing amid the entrails and chalk dust.

hermann leans to the side to rest his cane against the nearest desk. he places one arm around newton’s shoulders and with the other grips his upper arm, and newton shifts to take some of his weight and tightens his own grip, frowning slightly like he’s not sure what’s happening. there isn’t much floor space in the office, but they won’t be going very far anyway.

“put on some music, then,” hermann says.

newton smiles, soft and small, disbelieving. hermann understands that, but he’s working for the day that newton smiles and isn’t surprised by it anymore. today, it’s dancing. tomorrow, undoubtedly something more ridiculous that hermann will do without pause. 

I like that you phrase it as my “Hermann/Newt thing” as though it’s not my only thing. I’m a one trick pony and I thank my non-PR friends for humoring me

The words haunt him these days. 

“Don’t trust me,” Newt had uttered into the dark of his room.

Hermann turned to face him, confused by the abrupt outburst. They were both trying to sleep after a very long day of packing boxes. There was no formal arrangement between them, Hermann knows, but he was confident that once Newt was settled into his new job at Shao industries, he’d ask Hermann to follow him.

Until then, he was determined to stay exactly where he was.

“What did you say, sweetest?” Hermann asked. He’d heard the words but they seem out of place.

“Hmm? I didn’t say anything,” Newt answered, looking over at him.

“I was certain you had.” Hermann turned back, laying on his back. “Oh, well. Tomorrow is a very busy day, so we should try to sleep.”

“I was trying to sleep, until you insisted on talking to me.” Newt rolled over onto his side. He hadn’t been particularly distant, that’s not exactly how Hermann would describe it, but the past several weeks had left him a bit brusque. Hermann assumed it was stress over the move, out of the cramped room he’d lived in for over five years. Starting a job, as Newt had slipped and called it once a “real” job, as though their work for the PPDC all these years meant nothing.

“I love you,” he said and waited for an answer. There wasn’t one, but he could bring himself to hope that Newt had fallen asleep already.

The three words flashed through his head again, and in the back of his mind for years to come. It takes a decade to realize they’re a cry for help more than a warning.

HI ILYSM

pisces: describe someone you love without saying their name. - she’s the strongest person i know. she has fought to claim a job that she was made for and is more successful than she’ll ever admit. she’s the perfect mix of pop-punk and alternative funk, she’s birds on telephone lines, she’s adventures at midnight, she’s picnics for lunch. she is so wise beyond her years, and she’s known more hurt and rejection than some people experience in a lifetime. she’s my best fren, my confidante, my future maid-of-honor. and i know we’ll be raising hell together until the very end.

5. i’m glad you asked me this - which of my fics was most popular - because i assumed, since the pacrim fandom is small, it’d have to be one of the fics i wrote for an old fandom this year. BUT, by a slim margin, it’s actually standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run, which makes me feel GREAT. i put so, so much work into this fic - it’s the second hardest fic i’ve written, has the most plot i’ve ever written except for one other fic - and it’s nice to actually see in numbers that it did get a good amount of attention and feedback.

42. What are you most proud of accomplishing?

Over 300,000 words of fanfiction like that’s...5+ novels. Get on my level, world.

7. Which fashion trends did you love?