#pureemotion

Personality 🙈

Remember the joy of singing our national anthem as kids, feeling the purest emotion? Happy Flag Day! Let the patriot inside you never fade.

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I feel so empty & caught up in what I am right now.

Am I truly happy or just putting on another facade?

I’ve always been so good at masking my emotions..

Will anyone ever see the real me beneath this hollow vessel of a body I’m trapped inside of?

All “forevers” I’ve learned are temporary, so promise me the present.. Promise me a spectacular now, there’s too much space in between; unknown.. Theres too much space in between now and forever.

If it hurts when you think of me just know I’d rather not know because even without my involvement.. Your actions effect me.

I always seem to crave pain or things & people who hurt me.. But as I bask in recollection, poison never seemed to taste this good.

We all have different forms of suicide, mine just so happens being a martyr.. I carry the burden of my selected poisons as if the weight of the world..

It’s Ironic I feel as though I can no longer breathe with their weight on my chest..

I sacrifice my happiness as you kill me slowly, because you love me right?

Jaded.

- T.H.

Honestly,

I’m tired of feeling so alone.

I miss feeling comfortable being on my own

I miss late nights filled with me and you

I hate feelings because as an adult I have to accept things for what they are & move along

Chilled glasses of wine bring me deja vu

I wish feeling temporary wasn’t all I was used to

I let you in, you take what you want..

After the party I’m of no use nor am I any good to you.

I remember staying up until 4 am lost in one another’s indiscretions

With each kiss my soul died a little bit not knowing if it was natural to crave someone indefinitely rather than for a brief moment but to get lost within seconds..

I was myself with you

I gave myself to you

You assured me I was priceless each encounter you’d take my breath away..

I wish I would’ve kept my walls up because the only thing you fulfilled with your “assurances” was how easy I was to leave

I drown my sorrows in gas station wine,

White Zinfandel was your favorite..

If only I’d of had a spine so I could’ve walked away from something that felt so easy.

Because what feels like it should’ve been meant to be..

Its only ever left me feeling temporary

Imagine thinking of someone as “perfect”

All the while in their minds you were worthless....

My feelings must’ve been worthless as a penny to you..

The way you flicked them away from your fountain.

Hold me up

You’re a light in the dark..

‪So who are you to tell me how to pick my poisons..‬

‪When you leave my lips I don’t want to question if it’ll be the last time..‬

‪All along you were my choice.‬

‪The one I never want to get away..‬

‪When our fingertips part ways for the evening your lingering aroma runs amok in my distraught mind & i hope you decide to never leave me for the “next best thing.”‬

There’s a heaviness in my chest

I can’t handle being the epitome of sadness that I am

My broken souls more fragile than you’d think

And this shit normally gets messy.

There’s passion in your words and I can’t stop smiling

Its strange to say someone I barely know..

Someone I barely know becomes the one that got away with every conversation.

You say it’s not fair of you to give me what I desire

Yet everytime those silky brown eyes engulf me like a forest fire draining away the earths nutrients.

Call me selfish,

I don’t care if it’s fair...

You’re back for a moment and you’re gone.

I wanna know you..

-T.H.