#punk parent

Before and after of my back yard from yesterday. Incredibly grateful to have a yard for her to run around in now that she’s old enough, but I’m longing for the time where we can have afford a few acres or more for to her to really spread her wings. 

It’s hard for me to believe how much more hope and happiness there is my life from just these past few weeks. And seeing my daughter running in a fresh cut yard on an early Texas spring day with the faint scent of a neighbors grill hanging in the air, drives home how important it was for me to make changes in my life. It’s not a fast and easy change and just because I’m happy today won’t guarantee a happy tomorrow. It’s a work in progress. A grind. An attitude to take the day as it comes, but to not get lost in the bullshit and drama and lose sight of the destination. And that can be tough work onto itself. And there are still times where I allow myself to fall into the muck of the day and become stuck. Flailing around with all the rest. Hating life. But I started to install safety nets to help me out of these situations. Back pocket pep talks. Lists. Being honest with anyone who asks about my anxiety. Writing about it. 

Yard work helps too. Hard labor if only for a few hours every week or so. And enjoying the results help. My kid running with the mutt as her last activity of the day before bed. All of us enjoying the cool Texas evenings while they last.