#punch machine

This shot of Goku strolling through the tournament grounds is awesome.   He’s got his best friend and his grown-up son with him, it’s just really great to see.    The funny thing is, Goku’s only been absent from the show for a handful of episodes, but it still feels like it’s been seven whole years.    It’s just awesome to have him back, and in his old stomping grounds, ready to kick some ass and hug some children.

Trunks isn’t sure what to make of Goku, but he thinks his own dad is stronger.  Goten replies that Gohan always said Goku was the “strongest in the universe”, which is weird because Gohan was demonstrably stronger than Goku before he died.    Modesty’s one thing, but it’s strange that Gohan would just flat-out say something like that.    I mean, Gohan honestly had no idea that he had surpassed Goku until Goku asked him to fight Cell.  Could it be that he still can’t accept his superiority on that day, even after all this time?

Goku can’t get used to seeing Krillin with hair.    He asks why he stopped shaving it, and 18 walks by.   Well, it’s not because 18 likes the hair better.   She shaved his head in Res F and seemed to like him better that way, or at least that was my take.  

Then Goku finally notices 18 and he’s all “What’s she doing here?”  

And Krillin’s like “Me, Goku.   She’s doing me here.   That’s your answer.”

Goku’s all “How’d you have a baby with a robot?” and Krillin has to explain that 18 was never a robot, just a human with cybernetic enhancements.    This is a polite way of saying 18 has reproductive organs.    This feels like a bit of a retcon to me.   19 and 20 had entire chunks of their bodies chopped off, and they appeared to be wholly metallic, except for some fluid that might have been blood, and Dr. Gero’s human brain.    17 and 18 claimed to be modified humans, like Gero/#20, but we never saw either of them take any heavy damage, so it was never clear how much of them was still human.    At the time, it didn’t especially matter, but once 18 settled down with Krillin and had a baby, it was worth clarifying that this was possible for her.   But if she had been in some epic battle and half of her face got ripped off, she’d probably turn out to be metal underneath, and the implication would be that she was just a brain in a robot body like Gero.  It just depends on what direction the character went in.  Schrödinger’s uteurs.

Later, Gohan runs into Videl, but he explains to her that he’s entered as the Great Saiyaman, so she has to call him that for the whole day.   Then she shows off her flying ability to him, but she gets kind of frustrated that she can’t keep up with him.

Then Sharpner runs into them, and he quickly gets the impression that Videl is sweet on this Great Saiyaman person, if that is his real name, which it isn’t.

Gohan tries to leave, probably because he’s afraid Sharpner might recognize him from school, but Videl decides to play along.  She doesn’t actually tell Sharpner that she’s dating Great Saiyaman, but she doesn’t deny it either.    You can tell from the way she smiles that she enjoys watching him think about it.   

Also, when the tournament contestants are summoned to the preliminaries, she takes Gohan’s arm in hers, just to twist the knife.   Gohan’s even more unnerved by this, because, as Uncle Raditz once told him, he’s one of the mighty Saiyans too.

Speaking of Raditz, is that him posing in his underwear for a bunch of fans?    Is that Luffa on the far left?     Computer, zoom in sector 4 and enhance!

I mean, it’s not the standard color, and I’m not even 100% sure that’s supposed to be a woman, but the skin tone and the swagger are there.    This isn’t a fan, either.   You can tell by the gym bag she’s carrying....... which must contain her usual fighting clothes.    It’s perfect.    Anyway, she’s here to scold Raditz for skipping Tail Day.  

So this reporter and camera crew are trying to get interviews with the contestants, but Vegeta and Piccolo blow them off.

Goku’s more accomodating, but they don’t understand what he means when he says he’s dead and he’s only visiting for the day. 

And that’s when Piccolo gets fed up and starts blowing up cameras.    Maybe he just doesn’t want Goku explaining the afterlife to the media?   

Then we see this dude signing autographs... Is this Jonathan Joestar?    

I mean, am I on drugs today?   This episode is full of cameos.    I came for the exploding cameras, but I stayed for the JoJo references and OC photobombs.

Meanwhile, Sharpner has made it his business to unmask Great Saiyaman and expose his identity to the world.  Not sure how or why that would improve his standing with Videl, but I think at this point he’s just upset and this is the only outlet he has for his anger.    I would give him credit for not stalking Videl or anything weird like that, but that may be more self-preservation than discretion.    Videl would kick his ass in two seconds and he knows it.  

The Z-Fighters all assemble in the area for the preliminaries, where all the other competitors are.   A bunch of them are working out with weights to pass the time.    I really don’t get that.    This just seems like a bad time to lift, you know?    Also, why bring dumbbells with you.   You have to lug them around the whole time, check them on the flight, etc.  

On the other hand, I totally get that guy on the left who’s stone cold taking a nap.   I guess this is why I never had any talent for combat sports.

Hey, guess who it is?   It’s the World Tournament Announcer!    He’s still hosting this thing, and he’s delighted to see Goku, Krillin, and Piccolo return.   As far as he’s concerned, these events are downright dull without awesome guys like these to make them cool.   WTA’s gotten spoiled on gonzo super brawls, and now regular fighting just doesn’t do it for him anymore.  

So the funny thing about all of this is that WTA is one of the few people who know that Goku and his friends beat Cell, and not Mr. Satan.   King Furry figured it out, based on his recollection of Goku fighting King Piccolo, and he announcer knows it because he witnessed Goku’s battle with Piccolo Junior.   That, and WTA watched Mr. Satan win the 24th Budokai, which must not have been nearly as impressive as the Goku/Piccolo battle from the 23rd.  

Also, WTA is thrilled to see Goku’s brought even more cool dudes to join the action.  He doesn’t understand Goku’s halo, but he still hasn’t made sense of Krillin’s resurrection from back in the day, so by now he’s just given up on trying to figure it out.   He only asks that Piccolo doesn’t blow up the ring again, and Piccolo’s all “We’ll see,” which is probably exactly what WTA wanted to hear.    Yeah, he doesn’t want the ring destroyed, but he likes the idea that it could happen at any time with this crew.    Piccolo’s a master showman.  

Does WTA remember that Piccolo’s the same guy who tried to conquer the world?   He revealed himself at the 23rd Budokai, but the announcer doesn’t seem to remember, or maybe he figured out that Piccolo turned face by the Cell Games.   

In any event, Gohan is pleased to see that there’s at least one person who knows and respects his father’s greatness.   

Meanwhile, Sharpner tries to jump on Gohan from one of the rooftops, hoping to pull off his sunglasses, but Gohan bends down to pick up something at the last second, so it goes pear-shaped in a hurry.

Holy fuck he was picking up Captain Ginyu!   This episode is truly a cavalcade of stars!    

Also, Sharpner hit the pavement so hard he cracked it, and yet he’s still alive and unhurt, which lends to my theory that even ordinary people in Dragon Ball are much, much stronger than real-world people.   Bulma could kick Brock Lesnar’s ass, is what I’m saying.  He’d F5 her and she’d just jump back up and bitchslap him so hard that it’d break his neck.   The cops couldn’t arrest her for murder because she’d be too strong for their feeble handcuffs.  

Later, Sharpner gets a kid to pull off Gohan’s sunglasses while he lurks nearby with the camera.   It’s too fast for him to recognize him on sight, but he knows the camera got a good shot, but then Piccolo destroys it, along with every other camera in the vicinity.    So that takes care of Sharpner.   

Okay, just to explain for younger readers, back in the day cameras relied on film, which had to be chemically developed before you could see the picture you took.   So that’s why Sharpner didn’t just look at the photos he’d taken before it was too late.   I think camera film is still common knowledge, but I’m trying to make sure this blog post will make sense in case someone finds it on archive.org in 2030.  

Anyway, Piccolo just flat out explains that he destroyed every camera in the area.  There’s a real Ron Swanson energy to Piccolo.    “I don’t like flash photography so I murdered all of the cameras.   You’re welcome.”   Seriously, though, he did it just so Gohan can fight without fear of his disguise falling off.   He’s a good friend. 

So, in past tournaments, the preliminaries were this single-elimination tournament to choose eight fighters for the quarterfinals.    This time around, they have a much faster system: The Punch Machine.     Basically, everyone has to punch a device that measures how hard you hit, and the top 15 scorers get to participate in the tournament.    The 16th slot automatically goes to Mr. Satan, since he’s the defending champion. 

While the Z-Fighters are amused and/or disgusted by Satan’s antics, I think it’s pretty awesome how he comes out, holds up his title belt, and greets the other fighters by asking “Who among you will surpass me?!”     I think in the dub he shouts “Who wants this?!” referring to his title belt.    He knows one of these guys might beat him.   If not today, then some day, and for all his glory-seeking, he accepts that.    Plus, he gets the crowd all fired up.    Goku just isn’t built that way. 

So Mr. Satan does the first punch, which I guess is meant to establish a frame of reference for the machine.   It scores him at 137, and I assume everyone thinks no one else can top that, since he’s thought to be the strongest man in the world.   

While the gang lines up for their turn, Goku asks if Tien and “them” are coming.    He really doesn’t know Chiaotzu’s name, does he?    Is he using “them” to refer to Launch too?    Or is he just not sure of Chiaotzu’s gender?    Maybe he thinks Tien married a robot too.    He has no idea.

Anyway, Krillin explains that Tien probably won’t be here.   “No, dude, he just looked at us and said ‘I’m leaving now.   Goodbye forever.’  And then we never saw him again.   Pretty sure he’s not coming.”

All ofthese girls are here to cheer on Videl for when she takes her turn on the Punch Machine.   Are they friends from school?  Where’s Erasa, then?   It seems a bit odd that they’re allowed back here, unless they’re entered in the tournament too, and they don’t appear to be dressed for it. 

Anyway, this Punch Machine business really annoys Vegeta.   Is that Nappa behind him?   Wow.

18 takes her turn, and she tries to hold back, but she ends up getting a score of 774.    Whoops. 

Krillin scolds her for this, because now the officials think the machine is broken.    She tries again and gets like a 206, which is still suspicious, but at least they can sort of buy that. 

So the others just sort of barely tap it to get believable scores, but even so, they’re still higher than what the officials would have expected.

This is especially shocking to Videl, who hasn’t met the Z-Fighters yet.

So then it’s finally time for Vegeta’s turn.    As it turns out, this marks the start of an epic battle, one of my all-time favorites.    You don’t see a lot of talk about this one, but Vegeta vs. Punch Machine is a real classic.   Over the course of the next six episodes we’ll--

Uh...

...

PUNCH MACHINE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Videl is stunned.    Punch Machine was her godfather, but now it’s just a bunch of scrap metal.    And that red cushiony part on the front.   

Look at this heartless bastard.   He killed Punch Machine and he doesn’t even care.  It had one more day till retirement.    I... I can’t go on anymore.