#puhinui

I’m feeling in a bit of a strange mood today.  Sort of on tilt; a bit restless and unsettled.  Maybe it’s what Raymond Chandler diagnosed as the problem with the heat of summer -- although, comparatively speaking, Auckland’s mid-20s “heat wave” is a cool oasis next to the 45 degree hellscape of Australia.  I’m both in awe at the ability of the tennis players at the Aus Open to compete for hours under such extreme heat, and also incredibly appalled that more politicians aren’t alarmed at this “new normal”.  I was listening to the 99% Invisible archives I think, about how air conditioning has dulled our recognition that our buildings today are largely uninhabitable. We used to design buildings to fit the needs of each unique landscape; now we drop the same glass towers everywhere and hope our aircon doesn’t die on us. 

I’m feeling restless and unsettled.  And I think the most frustrating thing is knowing I have to stick around for another year wallowing with this feeling.  I’ve taken on a big project at work (not why I’m staying).  It’s challenging, interesting work -- blah blah (<-- oof, always a positive sign).  There were many different reasons for why, but the one that feels most appropriate for this post is that I couldn’t bear the thought of having the same routine, the same time frames, the same inane arguments with incompetent arrogant people for another year.  With this project, I get to drop the rest of my caseload.  I’ve been going to Melbourne regularly this past year (which, you’d know already if I’d bothered updating this Tumblr haha).  Each time I do, I end up thinking... why don’t I stay?   

I feel like it would help to find something new to do this year -- whether it’s salsa dancing, cheese making, or dragon boating.  The question is what? Suggestions welcome.