Here we are at the last day of 2020! What a wild ride this year has been, not in a good way either. 

I just wanted to come on here and just talk about how we suck our stomachs in. I bet you’re thinking what the hell is she on about but hold on, stay with me on this. 

I was sat doing some chemistry work and I felt a bit, tense. My shoulders kept tensing up and I had to remember to relax them again. And then I realised I was sucking my stomach in too. I’ve been sucking my stomach in for as long as I can remember, to the point where I now suck my stomach without conscious thought, even when I’m alone with no one to witness my little pudge. 

And I kinda think it’s messed up that that’s a thing, I’ve spent the past hour consciously relaxing my tum and it keeps reverting back to being sucked in when I’m not paying attention. As if contracted muscles is now my base state, and now having relaxed feels so weird. 

I’m trying to move towards appreciating and loving my body for the way that it is, which means having a heavy focus on becoming more ok with having stomach fat. I think I’ve been getting better with it but of course, we’re only in the beginning stages right now. 

So that’s where I’m at this bright winter afternoon, on the last day of 2020.