#pshearts

The first time it had happened heat crept from his neck to his cheeks, leaving him a pretty shade of pink.

The two of you were standing in between the aisles of a book store looking for the novel you wanted, and he was browsing through some when you spotted the item.

Without hesitation—and without noticing—your index finger had curled around the belt loop of his jeans and tugged him closer to you.

Heeseung had followed with this mouth parted in surprise, eyes blown wide, blushing face, and thundering heart.

Then it kept happening again and again, neither of you said anything about it. You kept on taking him place to place by the same method, and he went without a second (or even first) thought. It had been 33 days since you first did it—not that your boyfriend’s been keeping track.

He should be used to it by now. He is used to it.

Or so he thinks. ──── ˖ ݁𖥔 ݁˖ ────

His lips are slotted against yours as the two of you share a kiss in the kitchen. You’re sitting on the island, caged between his arms, one hand tugging his hair and the other resting on his bicep. You pull back, chest heaving with the lack of oxygen as you look at him.

Heeseung’s once neat and styled hair is a ruffled mess all thanks to you. His mouth is swollen, lips slick with spit, and eyes shining. Before you even notice you’re doing it again.

Your finger slides from his bicep to loop on his jean and you pull him closer.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, just loud enough for you to catch.

You look at his face, eyebrow raising. “What? Is something wrong?”

“No it’s nothing,” your boyfriend tries to dismiss and leans in to continue kissing you, but you lean back, retracting your hands away from his body.

“Tell me.”

Heeseung stares at you, a blush slowly creeping onto his face. You give him a confused look. “You pulled me closer by the belt loop,” he says, voice low almost as if he didn’t want you to hear.

A beat of silence passes where you look at him without blinking. And then a grin splits your lips. “Oh?”

Your boyfriend gulps and you watch as his Adam's apple bobs. “Didn’t even notice it Hee. But you’re blushing so so pretty ‘cause of that.”

Before he could reply, you slip your index finger into a belt loop and draw him closer to you.

A sound leaves the back of his throat at your action and he refuses to meet your eyes. “Look at me,” you say, your free hand sliding up to hold his face. “You’re so cute.”

With those words you press your lips to his again and kiss him.

Heeseung’s hand make their way to your waist and he tugs your body as close to his as possible and he loses himself in the feeling you give him.

His blush hasn’t calmed down in the slightest, leaving his skin warm to the touch. Your hand moves from his cheek and goes back to his hair tugging at it lightly. The action makes him part from your lips and a desperate noise leaves him.

“Why’d you pull away?” he asks, already trying to resume kissing you.

You dodge him before asking a question of your own.“Do you want me to stop?”

“What?”

You pull at his belt loop that’s still held in your finger. “Pulling you in like this?”

“No.”

Heeseung doesn’t let you get another word in before his lips are back on you, and you smile into the kiss.

The familiar pattern of his footsteps greets you as your boyfriend walks towards your shared bedroom from the kitchen. “What’s up babe?” he asks, looking at you curiously. 

He should’ve known from the mischievous look in your eyes and lips that were tugged at the edges just enough to be criminal that he had walked right into a trap. But knowing him he still would’ve done what you said without a second thought.

That’s how he ends up in his current position. 

You’re settled over his lap, still in your green nightsuit, hair not styled, bare faced, and beautiful enough to take his breath away. Heeseung’s back is resting against the headboard, hands placed on your hips, right thumb rubbing up and down while the other hand’s fingers drums rhythmically. 

A hand cups his jaw, tilting it side to side as you admire your barely done work. Countless lipsticks and glosses are thrown on both sides of the bed—on the right side were one that were used, the ones tossed near the foot of the bed to be thrown, and the ones near the top the ones you were keeping, while the left side housed the many more waiting their turn—and a pack of gentle baby wipes to clean off one colour and leave your lips blank for the other. 

Heeseung looked pretty, chest moving up and down slightly faster than normal, skin flushed a dusky pink, and dark hair tousled. His heart beat hard and fast in his chest, ready to jump out at a moment’s notice. 

Entranced, he watches as you lean and grab another lipstick, this one a shade shy of being blood red, and apply it to your lips. Carefully you tilt his head slightly back, enough to bare more of his neck to you. 

A stuttered breath leaves his as your lips make contact to the skin where his pulse point is and he can feel the smirk you wear. “Mm pretty,” you announce as you lean back. 

But your boyfriend isn’t entirely sure if you’re talking about the colour of the lipstick since your eyes are trained on his face. A beat of silence passes before you reach over to grab a wipe, ready to test the next product.

Right as your hands pull one out, Heeseung’s hand wraps around your wrist holding it in place. “Let me,” he says, voice airy, almost a sigh. Before you can answer, the wipe is out of your hand and in his. 

Gently he drags it across your lips, watching as the pigment fades before the natural colour is only left. The wipe is abandoned as he reaches over to the side, not looking at what he grabs, eyes unable to part from your face. 

The gloss shimmers in his hand, red-brown colour barely used. With a twist of his fingers he pops out the applier and guides it to your face. You melt against his hand as it cradles your face and part your lips to make it easier for him to apply the product. 

The brush tugs your lips as it slides against them painting them a new colour, it’s mesmerizing to watch as the light flowing in through the window makes it shine, making your lips look all the more kissable. 

“Uh uh.” The sound of disapproval greets him as his body subconsciously moves closer to steal a kiss from you. “Not done yet.”

A sound of defeat leaves the man beneath you knowing how stubborn you can get, letting you again maneuver him however you wish. Once again his neck is fully exposed, but his gaze is still on your lips, waiting for a chance to steal a kiss.

The sight of them makes him gulp, and you lock in on the movement of his Adam's apple in a flash. Another sickly sweet smile makes your face its home as you lean closer and closer to him. 

When your breath tickles the centre of his neck he swallows harshly again, making the urge to leave a stamp of you on his Adam’s apple all the more stronger. 

Then you finally press down on it, lips slightly parted, covering the protrusion as you leave a visual sign of yourself on it. A groan deep from his chest resonates around the room as you pull back, grinning. 

“I swe—” he starts. 

Yet before he can complete the word you’re already leaning in and sealing your lips over his own. Heeseung’s hands fly up to your waist, pulling you in closer and he pulls his body up to press the two of you chest to chest.

The lipgloss transfers from you to him, leaving a sticky mess as your lips push and pull against one another. 

There’s a certain urgency behind the kiss coming from being denied one for all the teasing you did. His lips were warm and soft, tasting slightly of the coffee he was having in the kitchen before you called him over. 

Your left hand makes its way to his hair, and the right one grips his shirt. Warmth blooms in your chest and you smile against his lips making him repeat the action. 

Neither of you stop until the need for oxygen makes it impossible to keep going. Even then both of you lean in to leave a peck on the other after a few seconds or so. 

The sound of heavy breathing fills the space between you, and Heeseung is ready to steal the breath from your lungs via kissing again but you push him back softly. 

“Later baby,” you promise, voice as sweet as candy, “there’s still so many left to try.”

A groan leaves him, heavy, exhausted and defeated, making you giggle. “You and your teasing are going to be the death of me.”

“Maybe, but for now be my pretty canvas please. When I’m done I’ll be all yours to kiss.”

Now the smirk is on his face. “Swear it.”

It was no surprise when one glance at your text messages, the missed calls from the other, or the few that were answered but only lasted a few minutes could tell of the distance that had grown between you two. 

There was too much going on, not enough time for the other, when he’d be in the country you’d be out, when you’d be free he was working on a different project. No schedules aligned, no timing matching. 

Everything was working to push you both apart and it had succeeded. But it didn’t make it any easier to listen to the words that were coming from him. 

“We should break up,” he says, voice shaking, eyes darting from your body to around the room you both were in. 

The room where you used to laugh as he pulled you against his chest, where you’d press kiss after kiss to his skin, where you’d listen as he sang you an unreleased song, and you’d let him know the words of the one you were writing before anyone else even knew it existed. 

A shaky breath leaves your mouth making his gaze slide back to you. But you don’t say anything, just stare at the guitar he had given you for your birthday. 

The room feels too big and too small at the same time. Jungwon wants to run from it, but more than anything he wants to feel your body close to his again. He doesn’t want to break up, but he knows staying as you are is just hurting you both more. 

You know it too, that’s why you aren’t arguing against it. But your silence is killing him. Would it be too selfish to hold you one last time? 

“Jungwon,” you call quietly. The sound is enough to make tears spring back into his eyes. You rarely ever called his full name, and it was never in a tone that sounded so defeated. “Can I… can I hug you? Just one last time?”

The last word is barely out of your mouth before he’s moving and pulling you into his arms. You’re tense when he first touches you, but in a second your body melts into his own, making the ugliness of the situation a distant memory for a few moments before it slams back into you. 

Neither of you want to pull away, your arms are wrapped around his waist tight, and his own mimic them with just as much intensity. Like maybe, just maybe, if you held the other long enough the inevitable situation could be changed. 

But that was too good to be true. 

The distance had settled too deep between the two of you. Rooted itself in the base of your relationship and how you both interacted with the other now. Too scared to lean on the other too much because no one was sure when you’d meet again in person. 

Too scared to do anything really. 

It had been months since you even slept holding the other. Weeks since you’d been on a single date or even kissed for longer than 5 seconds.

Staying together was what you wanted, breaking up was what you needed if you wanted to have a chance in the future. 

That’s if the chance would appear in the first place. As long as your heart stayed with him, and his with you, there could be a possibility. But that was not now. Not anytime soon if things kept at this pace. 

So you stay there tucked against him, breathing in his intoxicating cologne and he memories the scent of you. It’s a long while before you part enough to look at his face, tears that had let themselves loose at some point still streaking down your faces. 

And suddenly you lean in closer to brush your lips against his, it’s a soft barely there touch but he flinches away, making your heart clench even more painfully. “I shouldn’t have, I’m sorry.” 

Taking a step back you try and move further away from before his grip on your waist tightens just slightly making you stop. “Just one last time.” Jungwon echoes your words from before. 

Your lips quiver as you meet him halfway into the kiss. It’s bittersweet to feel him so close to you knowing that this is the last time you’ll get him like this. 

His hand slides from your waist to cup your jaw, and your hands find themselves running through his hair. A motion so familiar even if you hadn’t done it in forever. 

The kiss grows desperate, more frantic the longer it goes on, but not one of you tries to even separate. The need for oxygen is the only reason you do—even then he trails kiss after kiss from the corner of your lips down to your neck.

When you have enough air in your lungs you’re pulling him back to your lips. 

“I love you.” The words slip out before you can stop them.

“I love you too.” Jungwon replies, erasing the thoughts of doubt from your brain before they can even form properly. “So much more than I can tell you.”

A sob threatens to spill from your throat so you muffle it by burying your face into the crook of his neck. 

You won’t have him in the morning, so you keep him as close as you can for now. Let him pull you onto the bed and hug you with desperation only a man about to lose the love of his life can muster. 

Hours later you get up, so close to his body that you can’t tell where Jungwon ends and you start. It breaks your heart all over again to press a kiss onto his forehead as you gently get out of his hold to leave. 

When he wakes up it’s to the sun’s light hitting his eyes. “Y/n,” he says, voice thick from sleep, hands patting the space looking for you. But you’re gone, leaving a cold place where your warm body was. And he’s glad to be alone when tears soak into the pillow as he mourns losing you.

His face, nose and cheeks were red from the cold air hitting his face, but when he moved warmth spread through his body and kept him from noticing. 

You watched from afar as he moved on the ice. Mouth parted slightly in awe of his skill. Even though you’d seen him do this for years you were always mesmerized.

This lake was where you had met him for the first time. You remember being 9 and standing near the edge of the frozen surface. You watched him skate and you had thought it was the coolest thing in the world. 

The way he gilded had you in trance and it wasn’t much different from now. That day had been the start of a friendship you would forever hold close to your heart. You didn’t know how to skate so when Sunghoon had seen you struggling to even stand he had skated towards you.

He never knew why but he was glad he did. 

Sunghoon had held your hands and taught you to balance yourself, and how to stop. That continued every week until he didn’t have to guide you anymore, and you and him could skate side-by-side. 

Meeting once a week turned into having your parents exchange numbers, since you were both still too little to have phones, and those led to meeting more often until you both started to go to the same school and the rest was history. 

You put on your skates and stood on the lake before pushing off. Sunghoon still hadn’t noticed you and you suppose it was because he was thinking about something. 

You made your way towards him and called out his name before he finally turned and looked at you. “Y/n,” he breathed out. “When’d you get here?”

“Just a bit ago,” you replied. 

He hummed in response before comfortable silence took over you too. The sound of the skates on ice filled the air instead and you found a sort of comfort in it. 

Sunghoon was beside you and from the corner of your eye you could see his face. He looked so beautiful in your eyes and you wondered how he saw you. The words of confession rested on the tip of your tongue like they usually did around him.

But you swallowed them back in fear of rejection. 

“Y/n?” Sunghoon said. 

You gave a slight nod of your head to tell him you were listening. 

“Do you like someone?”

The question knocked all the air out of you. Turning you looked at him with an expression of shock. “Why the sudden question?”

“Because I’m your best friend and I should know,” he replied. 

In your head you were thinking about if you should tell me or not. A part of you wanted to say yes, another wanted to say no. And a tiny little part wanted to confess. 

“Yeah I do,” you said after a minute, looking down at the ice. If only you had looked up you would’ve noticed the flash of hurt in his eyes. “Do you?”

“I do too,” Sunghoon said, causing your heart to sink. Snow started falling at the same time and it made you almost let out a laugh. Such a pretty sight for a moment when you were sad. 

“Who is it?” you both questioned at the sametime making eachother let out a chuckle. 

“Just some guy I know,” you said. 

“Do I know him?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I close with him?”

“Why the sudden questions Hoon?” you asked. 

“I want to know who my best friend likes. Is that so wrong?” he replied swiftly. 

There they were again. Those two words that held you back from confessing because you didn’t want to lose being his best friend. Maybe it was the feeling of the little heartbreak but you finally let the words free. 

“It’s you. I like you Sunghoon.”

It was as if everything had slowed down. Sunghoon stopped in his spot but you didn’t and were about to skate away from him before you felt a tug on your wrist. 

“I like you too,” he said. 

The words rang in the air before your brain processed them. Sunghoon liked you. Park Sunghoon, your best friend of 12 years, liked you. 

“Can I kiss you?” you asked and Sunghoon didn’t even answer before he was pulling you in and pressing his lips against yours’. 

Your hands snaked to go around his waist, while one of his cradled the back of your head and the other rested on your hip. The kiss was sweet and so perfect. 

The snow continued to fall around the two of you, but its coldness suddenly felt like summer’s warm heat and you smiled into the kiss. Sunghoon returned it before pulling back for a quick breath. Your hand moved from his waist to hold his face and you rubbed a thumb on his cheek. 

He grinned at you, his eyes crinkling and teeth on display and your heart stuttered. You had always found his smile beautiful and now you had another reason to. 

“I lied by the way,” he mumbled. “I love you.”

Before you could reply he had pulled you in for another kiss. 

It’s not a myth but a fact known by the world. The way their body deals with change in physical appearance is different, it makes them seem as youthful as a 20 year old while they’re 300 years. 

But humans do not have the same abilities. They age, flesh sags down, wrinkles take the place of smooth skin, bones become weaker, eyesight gets blurrier and blurrier as they get closer to their time of death if they grow to become old. 

Mortals and immortals.

The alive and undead.

A vampire once born or turned can never be a part of the other group of people who live and die.

But right now Jay would give anything to be able to take his last breath in your home’s garden.

You look as if you’re sleeping, head in his lap, right hand beside you on the blanket and left on your still stomach. Your body has aged with time, you’d often frown at the way you skin wasn’t as tight as it used to be, colour not the same as when you were younger.

But he thinks you look just as beautiful as you did 53 years ago at the age of 19.

His hands—free of the wrinkles that were on yours—caressed your resting face, and he chokes back tears at how much this reminds him of when he proposed to you. 

You had been in this exact position, except your chest had been rising and falling as you lived. A gasp of surprise and unexplainable happiness had left you as he asked you to marry him. And he slid the ring onto your finger without getting up, an improper proposal some would say, but you thought it was perfect in every sense. 

The light had hit the gem on it the same way, making it glow against your skin as it did now. 

Jay wonders what your last thought was. The last words you said to him ring endlessly in his brain, as if repeating them will make them true. 

“I’ll find you again,” you had said. Like you knew your time was coming to an end, and it took him too long to reply. Because when he finally did open his mouth the words caught in his throat at how still you looked. 

Memories flash through his brain, it's almost as if his own life is ending though he knows it's not true. 

You standing ankle deep in water looking for the ring you lost. He had helped you find it, it was the first time you met. Jay wondered why it was so important and you had told him it was a gift from your grandmother. 

Then when you repaid him for helping you with a coffee. 

Next when you sat beside him in music class. 

Recollections of moments came to him fast and soon tears slipped down his cheeks. You walked closer to him in your wedding dress and if he could blush that day then his whole body would’ve been a deep, deep red. 

When you had started to age, look older than the age of 30 you had hidden yourself. Scared he would leave you because you didn’t look the same. But he had coaxed you out with sweet kisses and whispered promises. 

It had never been the same though. 

You wouldn’t sit too close to him in public, wouldn’t hold his hand or call him anything other than “Jongseong” or “Jay”. It hurt, but he would never trade those moments for anything because they were spent with you. 

The only thing he would change is his nature so he could be able to grow old with you. Yes he may be only a couple more years older, but he doesn’t look it. He’s so similar yet different and it kills him.

He wishes something other than a stake in his heart could end him. 

“I’ll find you again,” you said. 

And finally his reply comes. “I hope you don’t.” 

Because he can’t handle another experience like this, can’t handle the fact that he would have to lose you again and again because fate had decided that you’d be born into the living and him into the undead.