#prussian shitposting

S Tier:

frederick the great: i call the man my historical dad, my blogs named after him. what did you expect? but for the unenlightened heres why: openly gay in the 1700s? bold move, a great warlord, seriously fighting off four powerful kingdoms and keeping all your territory is impressive af, made a Great European Power(tm) out of these small disparate territories, fair...amount of religious tolerance, an actually competent king which is always rare

catherine the great: idk why dudes but i love her. like...getting rid of poland off the map completely? problematic, but the first german/russian to think of that so a trend setter. wanted to free the serfs, but didn’t because if you come to power in a coup you gotta follow along to the nobility. politically ruthless and intelligent and an all around badass. we stan

A Tier:

maria theresa of austria: probably surprising considering fritz’s placement, but real recognizes real. she fought hard to cling to the title her father secured for her, even when assholes (hi fritz) deemed the pragmatic sanction illegitimate. if i lost silesia and had my right to the throne undermined by prussian propaganda i, too, would be out for blood. knocked lower because, unlike fritz and catherine, pretended like she was so troubled by the first partition of poland when we all know she probably was pleased with getting more good, catholic land

B Tier:

george ii of britain: honestly, i don’t know enough about him asides from how he interlinks with fritz. ranked B for being english so my ancestors don’t get mad at me. also he did do more to help prussia in the 7yrs war than george iii so. we like him a bit more

louis xvi of france: homeboy lost his head. am i not supposed to feel bad for a person who lost their head? am i supposed to laugh that he got decapitated? a lifetime in jail as a political prisoner, fine. letting him flee to austria, also fine. the man should’ve never been king. but he did destroy his country’s treasury to fund a major (and successful) fuck you to britain. very french, very on brand

C Tier:

tsarina elizabeth: she would throw these cross-dressing masquerade balls which i think is very sexy, very cool, and definitely very gay. but at the same time, suddenly decided she hated fritz? after being very friendly and having solid diplomatic relations? very strange woman. i don’t understand her, but i am afraid of her

D Tier:

george iii of britain: ‘suzanne aren’t you american? shouldn’t he be F then if you respect your countries history?’ no because he treated my country comparatively well to the other colonies. so not an F. treated everyone else like shit though. descended into madness or whatever disease. said fuck you to fritz when i didn’t see britain/hanover doing jack shit from 1756-1753. i don’t hate him, but i wouldn’t help him if he were in trouble

F Tier:

frederick william of prussia: someday i will go back in time. and i will travel to 1730. and i will beat the ever living shit out of this sad excuse for a man. he has no rights here