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My desire punished. My desire rendered repugnant. My desire maimed by another's ego, his shame, his words + mouth + tongue whipping me wrong. What I thought was wanted was not, contorting himself, he says, around my desire to turn it into something he can enjoy but still can't get off on. My desire gone limp. My body that never knew to hate itself learning how, being taught. My body shutting itself up, a now shrunken head blind to its own desire. It is too hungry he said, my body. It is greedy + it rubs his mind raw. He needs his sleep. + my body takes it all too far, too long, too much. My body of burden. My desire a chore. When I ask him what would please him, he says it kills the mood.
#spilled ink#poetry#personal#prose poetry#lit#literature#twcpoetry#creative writing#prosity#writers on tumblr#poets on tumblr#poems#poem#original writing#spilled thoughts#original poetry#twc poetry#the writing community#writeblr#poetblr#poemblr#hopefully i can give you all a journal soon x#mooneyedandglowing#moriah pearson#free write#freewriting#rough draft one pass sort of thing just to expel this from my body while the injury is still weeping pus#prose#messy but new resolution is to let go of the paralyzing perfectionism as much as possible so let it all see the light of day why not etc
