#prophetic queue

MOOTS MAGGOTS COUNTRYMEN TIS I BACK ON MY BULLSHIT AND I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW ASIDE FROM THE QUEERBAITING SO CLEARLY I'M THE BEST AUTHORITY ON THE SUBJECT. LET'S GO.

I just found out that Millie Bobby Brown and Sadie Sink are in this while searching for a maths parody of Material Girl. Like. What the fuck who was gonna tell me

MBB is... Eleven. But not the Eleven from the Umbrella Academy that I think is MCR and has Eliot Page.

Sadie Sink is Max and in a coma.

WILL. AT LEAST I KNOW ONE BLOKE. WILL EXISTS.

Will wants to play D&D for some reason

Will ends up with Eleven but he was not meant to. Was she also in a coma?

Is this the show where like. they play D&D underground or is that another show (underground? upside down? in a basement? inside out?)

THERE IS QUEERBAITING. Will and another guy are queer and in love

I'm gonna call the other guy Ronald (I don't remember his fucking name. My brain supplied Willanov when I tried to figure it out using the ship. I'm going to assume it's not Will and Ilya Rozanov. So all I remembered is he has R vibes.)

(apparently his name is NOT Ronald but he plays Ronald Weasley in a Heated Rivalry parody of Ron x Harry with Will's actor so?? Fuck my life?? Ig???)

ROBIN IS QUEER. And Ronald comes out to her? She comes out to Ronald? She? They? Am I misgendering them?

So Ronald confesses he's in love with Will and he's gay but he cries about it and apologises or something and it has too many undertones of internalised homophobia that they don't fix

So apparently it was just a "little crush" and the show runners (whose names are some kind of slur? insult? Starting with D) said fuck you to the audience

And so Will ends up with Eleven and Ronald ends up alone at a bar with a boyfriend who doesn't have any speaking lines but has a wrist I think

Idk I don't remember much from the gifsets that flooded my dash when S5 came out

Max taught Eleven to live or something

There's a wall with letters? Is this that same show?

That's all I got I'm ngl. If you want to be cursed to and look up the SNL skit of. Uh. Heated Wizardry. Better than watching R*wling's fucking show, at least.

"One of the most endearing aspects of Neil Gaiman's writing is his absolute refusal to even remotely abide by reality or normalcy."

-parinikasharma317

no one can ever run out of content with you, my beloved maggots. anyway, good omens mascot here, have more discord... message posts?

Yes, the last one happened. No, I can't remember how I fucked up. It's a regular occurrence. And the love story of Aphrodite (@anadyomena) and TwoWingBastard (@ivory--raven) is one for the ages (the marriage bot wouldn't let them get married).

Well said, mon ange @random-doctor-on-the-internet.

...either the play or the actual man. I am not a time-travelling voyeur. Why does that give Doctor Who vibes? I haven't watched that either.

Anyway, happy Ides of March, tumblr. Here we are. Doing what I do worst, making a summary of things I have no authority to summarise... WAHOO LET'S GO. Whatever it is I know about the play:

Caesar was vibing sometime around the '40s. 0040s, not 1940s.

He has a wife named Calpurnia. A maggot wants to be her because and I quote 'no one ever listens to me either'.

She tells him not to go to some kind of coronation or speech or something on the Ides. He's like nah wifey 'sall gucci.

I regret saying that sentence. As did Caesar, because he went and got stabbed in 44. Spoiler alert.

People ship Mark Antony with Caesar but some ship Brutus and Caesar. *youtuber voice* Comment below with your favourite ship.

Don't do it I don't want to know. Anyway, he's also married to Cleopatra, who is killed by snake venom that may not have been snake venom or something.

Idk they were cute. They had a kid that ran away and Asterix and Obelix had to take care of him. Caesarian?

WAIT IS A C-SECTION CALLED A CAESARIAN BECAUSE YOU CUT IT OPEN AND CAESAR WAS STABBED? WHAT?

There is a soothsayer. He tries to soothwarn Caesar.

Caesar does not soothlisten. Caesar is a lil bitch.

On the Ides of March, Caesar goes up to the soothsayer who is lurking on the steps of the maybe-coronation place. He soothsays The Ides of March are come!

The soothsayer soothsighs and soothsays Aye, Caesar, but not gone.

The senators, otherwise known as the soothslayers, have been plotting for a while. Brutus is a very dear friend of Caesar. He thinks Caesar slays.

But the other senators convince him this is what's best for Rome. So he thinks Caesar should be slayed.

So now the soothslayers at the maybe-coronation gather around Caesar and start stabbing him. Et tu, Brute? and all that (though I remember something about that phrase not meaning the same thing as it does in popular context...).

The soothslayers are a bit extra. Like bro. One stab to the heart would have soothsufficed.

Anyway, Caesar is soothslayed like the soothsayer soothsaid.

There is a funeral thing. The People of Rome are cranky.

A maggot once said Moots, maggots, countrymen! and it lives rent-free in my head.

Anyway what Mark Antony actually says is a whole ass speech. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS. I COME TO BURY CAESAR, NOT TO PRAISE HIM! THE EVIL THAT MEN DO LIVES AFTER THEM, THE GOOD IS INTERR'D WITH THEIR BONES (I THINK I HAVEN'T HEARD THE SPEECH IN A WHILE OK) SO LET IT BE WITH CAESAR.

So he gives the soothspeech and everyone is emotional. IF YOU HAVE TEARS, PREPARE TO SHED THEM NOW. Damn bro. It's like playing villain music just as the camera focuses on the villain.

Anyway then there is a lot of chaos and blah blah blah Mark Antony does some stuff Caesar's adoptive son Octavian does some stuff.

There's some bloke named Augustus who may or may not be Octavian (if he was sorry for the deadname Auggy my bad).

Brutus is killed? Or he kills Mark Antony? One of them die.

They were totally not fighting over who was a better lover to Caesar.

Roman Republic gone byebye as I say to Roxie. Roman Empire starts. The end.

Er.

That was a thing. I rather like summarising my homeboy Shakespeare haven't read him in a while and I only read his comedies. Maybe I should do more in honour of the Globe Theatre Maggots.

Happy Ides. Please don't soothslay me. I've been a good Maggot Prince to you, haven't I?