@marchingasone &&. said...
msg from katxgirlxoxo: so who's this mandy?
msg from katxgirlxoxo: seems to think throwing around insults does her any favors
msg from katxgirlxoxo: i don't think i like her
msg from katxgirlxoxo: also who is arakan?
msg from katxgirlxoxo: is arakan your family too?
heĀ looksĀ atĀ theĀ messagesĀ lightingĀ upĀ hisĀ phoneĀ andĀ feelsĀ hisĀ lipsĀ curlĀ withĀ disdain.Ā theĀ groupĀ chatĀ isĀ noĀ longerĀ aĀ SAFEĀ PLACEĀ āĀ notĀ thatĀ itĀ everĀ wasĀ withĀ theĀ likesĀ ofĀ dottoreĀ hangingĀ around,Ā butĀ atĀ leastĀ theĀ threatĀ heĀ posesĀ feelsĀ moreĀ manageableĀ byĀ comparison.Ā he'sĀ familiar;Ā aĀ lurkingĀ threat,Ā slowlyĀ eatingĀ awayĀ atĀ theirĀ collectiveĀ moraleĀ likeĀ anĀ acidĀ dissolvingĀ flesh.Ā thisĀ personĀ āĀ thisĀ wasteĀ ofĀ skinĀ andĀ oxygenĀ isĀ unpredictable.Ā aĀ knifeĀ drivenĀ mercilesslyĀ betweenĀ theĀ ribs,Ā serratedĀ edgeĀ rippingĀ andĀ tearingĀ asĀ itĀ goes.Ā eachĀ subsequentĀ blowĀ delvingĀ deeper,Ā causingĀ moreĀ damageĀ āĀ leavingĀ littleĀ pauseĀ forĀ theĀ bleedingĀ toĀ slowĀ beforeĀ goingĀ inĀ forĀ anotherĀ attack.Ā thingsĀ can'tĀ goĀ onĀ likeĀ thisĀ FOREVER;Ā he'sĀ sureĀ ofĀ it.Ā theĀ onlyĀ questionĀ isĀ whoĀ breaksĀ first,Ā andĀ renĀ (Ā pessimistĀ thatĀ heĀ isĀ )Ā doesn'tĀ feelĀ asĀ confidentĀ aboutĀ theirĀ chancesĀ asĀ heĀ wouldĀ everĀ professĀ aloud.
still.Ā he'sĀ dugĀ himselfĀ intoĀ thisĀ holeĀ āĀ heĀ mayĀ asĀ wellĀ keepĀ going.Ā heĀ hasĀ herĀ trust,Ā forĀ now;Ā heĀ hasĀ toĀ makeĀ SOMETHINGĀ outĀ ofĀ it.
šššššššš: ignore them
šššššššš: amanda is just some kid who wormed her way into the gc
šššššššš: kaminari's been feeding them all kinds of bullshit about you.
šššššššš: she's just trying to sound cool in front of everyone.
šššššššš: as for arakan......
šššššššš: they're kami's sibling
šššššššš: think of them as living proof someone can exist without any redeeming qualities whatsoever
šššššššš: they hate my guts and i hate theirs :)
it'sĀ allĀ liesĀ āĀ well,Ā mostly.Ā theĀ animosityĀ heĀ portraysĀ betweenĀ himselfĀ andĀ arakanĀ isĀ veryĀ muchĀ realĀ āĀ atĀ leastĀ fromĀ ren'sĀ perspective.Ā he'sĀ sureĀ theyĀ haveĀ redeemingĀ qualities;Ā he'sĀ simplyĀ neverĀ beenĀ theĀ recipientĀ ofĀ them.Ā (Ā theirĀ familyĀ dramaĀ trulyĀ isĀ somethingĀ toĀ behold,Ā inĀ theĀ sameĀ wayĀ aĀ carĀ crashĀ inspiresĀ onlookersĀ toĀ stopĀ andĀ stare.Ā )Ā inĀ anyĀ case,Ā the streamer's choice ofĀ wordingĀ isĀ deliberate.Ā allĀ condescending,Ā allĀ meantĀ toĀ downplayĀ themĀ bothĀ asĀ insignificant,Ā uninspiring,Ā notĀ worthĀ payingĀ anyĀ mind.Ā likeĀ insectsĀ tappingĀ ineffectuallyĀ atĀ aĀ window.Ā it'sĀ notĀ much,Ā butĀ ifĀ heĀ canĀ atĀ leastĀ PROTECTĀ themĀ fromĀ furtherĀ harassment,Ā he'llĀ gladlyĀ bearĀ theirĀ shareĀ ofĀ theĀ attentionĀ inĀ theirĀ place.
he bites the inside of his cheek. thinking. planning. trying to figure out how he wants to EASE HER into answering his questions.
šššššššš: watching them get worked up into a panic was hilarious
šššššššš: wish i was around to see it happen live
šššššššš: how did you get in?
šššššššš: the group chat hasn't been that interesting in ages