TRUST NO ONE!

As a trans man who gets, like, -1 representation in shows that aren’t explicitly about queer people, I often will latch onto characters that inexplicably have The Trans (TM) written into their bones, which includes Dipper Pines. And, as one might expect, I turn to my silly little A03 account to get my fix of representation and enjoyment of many a trans dilemma. Unfortunately, this is where my qualms get given the spotlight.

This is a generalization, but it seems as though every single godforsaken fic about trans!Dipper (I see this in the Spider-Man fandom a lot too, but that’s a conversation for a different day) he loses all his unhingedness, all his insanity, and is boiled down to a weak and sad little uwu trans boy who can’t handle his own dysphoria and falls apart at every slight inconvenience?

You’re telling me DIPPER, the same man who got called weak one (1) time and then disappeared into the woods for a solid 12 hours and came back half naked and rambling about positive vs toxic masculinity and manotaurs, is going to get misgendered and fall completely and utterly apart? You seriously think he’s going to have a run in with somebody who tries to bully him for being trans and he isn’t going to read them to filth? Are we forgetting that this is the same man who spent a whole episode learning about how to live and let live and then STILL told Pacifica her family was a sham with the mic-drop line of “deal with it”?????

Like good lord, please give this man some credit. I’m not saying he can’t have panic attacks, or trauma, or be treated differently by certain people, but it is the year of our lord and savior 2024 and we are STILL infantilizing trans men in fanon versions of media???

Willow's more paying attention to the cracks in the stain glass window she's staring at, anyway. It takes her a second to realise anybody is talking to her. It's been a while since anyone has, in or out of the dreamscape.

          “ Of course, there’s sun! ”

It’s sad, seeing someone so lost like this. Peering into the minds of others has made him reflect on what his must have looked like. Was he kept up in some dark room somewhere? Were mountains of textbooks and thousands of loose leaf pages threatening to swallow him whole? Did it all feel so hopeless? Were the windows boarded and the doors locked?

          “ There is always sun. ”

Being in other’s minds has taught him a little something, or at the very least made him realize the importance of therapy.     ( If he ever makes it out of here, if he ever finds a way to have a body and reenter human society, he is absolutely getting a therapist — )     Dipper holds out one of his hands for the girl. His smile is inviting. 

          “ Want me to show you? ”

It isn't fair. He had broken the prophecy made against him, played humanity like pawns and finally managed to bring about his Weirdmageddon after centuries of broken deals and angered threats. He had won, had clawed his way to a victory and reveled in the party that was always destined to happen! And yet, when he was about to take his reign worldwide, after he noticed a certain twin had more fingers than before held out towards his hand, everything fell apart. He had done everything right, and now all because of that horrible, no good, hypocritical frilly know-it-all Bill was back where he started. Worse, actually. While the tear in space mended itself and took the nightmares with it, it hadn't taken the host of it all. Which left him in the town destroyed by his antics, and when he had went to lash out, he'd found himself unable to do so. No fire left his hands, not even a little lightning or magic to shift apart reality. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing- it was like was back in Eu--

The quiet after four whole days of world ending chaos was something strange to get used to. Even days later there was still ringing in Dipper’s ears and a pit of dread in his stomach — can it really all be over? When he starts to convince himself that it is, that the waking nightmare of Weirdmageddon is in the past, he catches a glimpse of yellow, or hears that shrill, nefarious laughter come down the hall. Sleepless nights are no stranger to Dipper Pines, but it’s been even harder to allow himself the rest while he knows Bill stalks the hallways and rooms of the Shack.

Some nights, when he can’t sleep, too embroiled in his gut wrenching anxiety, Dipper sits with his back against the attic door, a golf club held firmly in his hand. He’s made a meanspirited sport out of watching Bill try and try and always fail to tap into his powers, to break the deal between them. He can’t help but to laugh, at Bill and his outburst, before —

          “ Shhh! Keep it down — do you know what an inside voice is? Now's the time to use it. ”     He speaks softly, so as to not disturb the rest of the house any more than they already had been,      “ You’re not scaring anyone, Bill. You’re just annoying. ”

There’s an uncomfortably long silence as he catches up. Then:          “Um. No, I—I don’t. We were hanging out, and then… and then I don’t—I don’t know. I came to after… after something… and you were gone.”

Whatever happened, it was obviously more than just passing out. Benji feels a strange, sickly dread forming in the pit of his stomach. 

          Dipper stops pacing, but his thumbnail is still pinched between his teeth. He looks haunted. “ ... You were possessed. ”

Possession is so different for everyone else he has talked to — they never remember when it happens, just an inky blackness and a hole in their memory as evidence that it happened at all. It was so much different for him, why was it so different? He was a spectral spectator — he remembers everything that happened in such vivid detail, as though it only just happened, or like he is watching it play back on a TV every time he thinks back to it. He was floating outside of his body, not crammed down deep in the depths — trampled. 

          “ Do you remember when you came with me to Gravity Falls for Summerween last year? I found something on a shelf in the gift shop and destroyed it when we got to the top of the roof. Remember how I’m… I’m weird about dollar bills being face down — I always cover them up or turn them face up? Or how I tell Salem to cover his eye of providence tattoo whenever I’m with him? ”

His eye contact is intense, unwavering. He finally brings his hands down from his mouth, holding them tight in front of him so that Benji can’t see just how bad they are trembling. 

          “ He’s dangerous — like, really bad. We thought we killed him but he’s back and it can’t be good and — and I haven’t been able to trust you because it’s not always super easy to know when it’s you or when it’s… Him. He's already been fucking with my head so much. I can't sleep because he won't let me sleep — ”

The pacing is back — a way to dispel some of the anxious energy that bubbles up in his chest, threatening to grip his throat. He can’t blame Benji for being curious. He can’t blame him for being tricked — three out of five of the Pines have been tricked by him in one way or another. Maybe Benji doesn’t know how bad it can be! Dipper runs his fingers through tangled curls, pushing bangs from his eyes — only a glimpse of his birthmark before it's covered right back up. 

          “ …Bill Cipher can’t be trusted. He is a monster, Benji. ”

...Well, wasn't this funny? She'd never contacted this number before, seems it was the wrong one.

[TXT: stranger] Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know anyone named Mabel. 

[TXT: stranger] I believe you may have the wrong number. 

[ TO : OOPS, WRONG NUMBER!       ✉️          Dipper is typing . . . ]

[txt]     oh! oh. shoot, i’m sorry! [txt]     i was trying to [txt]     uh [txt]     i was trying to text my sister lol [txt]     must have read the number wrong, then. silly! [txt]     sorry didn't mean to bug you !