#prometheus review

Nothing's happening....nothing's happening...something about a spaceship.. 2/10.

long time no checking out my blog. and that last cliff-hanging story regarding my reading of WORLD WAR Z? that didn't quite work so well. got my laptop all formatted before i had the proper chance to back up my hdd. hence my failed attempt at finishing that damn book.

anyway, since i've got this great aunt whose pc has some very identical contents to those of mine, i (luckily enough) managed to pull out several files i considered crucial to my whole existence in the world of computing. so here i am, gratefully rocking my laptop again with almost all of the files i need right at my disposal.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

enough with this useless rant. i've had quite a month since i last posted my update up here. why? because june was packed with ridley scott's PROMETHEUS (that highly-anticipated flick that's coined as the prequel to ALIEN), that's why. my figuring out that movie took almost a whole month. so i opted to desert my blog for a while and have a nice, fan-chatter up on twitter. sorry, blog.

to make it up for y'all, here's hoping i can keep you amused with this long-overdue review of PROMETHEUS. and it may be just fitting to present this mighty picture to you folks so you can get the gist of what i'm about to say up here:

yes, that's a picture of my mighty giant penis and it's ejaculating an odd-looking black fluid. so, as you can guess, PROMETHEUS is a tale of spacemen having a mastrubate-a-thon in a remote planet.

er, enough for the ice-breaker, it's not even that funny.

ahem.

okay that's the index finger of david 8 -- an android aboard the titular spaceship, PROMETHEUS. notice that thing on his finger print? yes, that implies that he (well, he's designed to be a male android... if androids have peckers) is a property of WEYLAND ENTERPRISES. wonder what on earth does that company have to do with all of the mess concocted in PROMETHEUS? here's why...

it's a not-too-distant future. a group of scientists or archeologists or whatever has found some kind of relics in caves that give hints to the existence of another intelligent, civilized and advanced being apart from humans. and these nutsy scientists simply toss their faiths away and summarize that they might be the ones who'd created them. yes, they think that these so-called aliens are the ones that had created humans in the first place. THEY THINK OF THESE ALIENS AS GOD.

did i tell you that the whole concept of this movie is nuts? because if i didn't, then i need to tell you here that IT IS. but don't take it too seriously because it's simply a science fiction. moving on...

while most of the scientists figure out that these aliens may be the gods, one scientist gal in the group named elizabeth shaw (portrayed excellently by the girl with the dragon tattoo herself -- noomi rapace) still has faith in her own belief stating "they may have created us... but who created them?" -- or so i've heard. yes, as you can probably guess, she's our heroine. but on the contrary to the fish-out-of-water style of the original ALIEN where all members of the cast were given the equal screen presence so we couldn't really know who the hero actually was until the last minutes (yes, tom skeritt's chuck norris looks didn't always promise delta force-like action sequences). anyway, this elizabeth shaw gal has a gutsy boyfriend named charlie holloway (logan-marshall green, not good). they, together with a group of intellects, beam out to the outer space to investigate a possible existence of another intelligent life as hinted by the ancient relics back on earth on a spaceship called PROMETHUS which is provided by WEYLAND ENTERPRISES. this WEYLAND company has a special interest on their research that's better kept untold until you've seen it for yourself.

a WEYLAND representative whose name is meredith vickers (charlize theron, ace) is also onboard, making sure that the group of scientists and other kinds of intellects "do their job". as assumed, she's a bitch.

landing on a remote planet called LV-223, the crew members of PROMETHEUS soon find a weird dome-like structure that's so ingeniously built -- another strong hint at the possible existence of another intelligent life. they begin to investigate the insides of the aforementioned structure. they find secrets that they're not supposed to see. they scream. but of course, in space no one can hear you scream.

it's pretty much the same old drill for director ridley scott as this latest work of his isn't really different to the original ALIEN back in the 70's. the only difference being everyone seems to be pretty stoked anticipating PROMETHEUS, while ALIEN was an unprecedented success. ridley scott sure has some of the most mind-boggling questions and answers to deliver to the most hardened ALIEN fans in PROMETHEUS. and he does so quite nicely. i scratched my head for a couple of times when faced with questions that truly expanded the ALIEN universe. and it was a good head-scratch. not giving away anything too soon is in ALIEN's DNA. and because PROMETHEUS is said to be "following the same ALIEN DNA", there are plenty of things to ponder about even when you've exited the cinema. while the answers to some of the said questions are mostly obscure, fans can absolutely cheer over the unprecedented scares and thrills that are akin to those of ALIEN's.  scott does well in this department with some of the decade's most terrific and provoking visuals, atmospheres and set designs. you can expect and predict so much about PROMETHEUS, but in the end, you're either satisfied or not. that's how scott runs things in his latest.

the cast is top notch with the exception of logan-marshall green who plays as elizabeth's shaw romantic interest, charlie holloway. he's your typical macho-looking guy with stupid guts in a horror movie. noomi rapace is great. every scene with her panicking and kicking ass is one of the film's finest moments. but she's in no way close to sigourney weaver's legendary ellen ripley. charlize theron does well as the movie's bitch. she's that kind of bad guy you love to hate. and i'd like to single out michael fassbender's subtle performance as david 8 (whose index finger shown above). you either love him or are scared of him.

PROMETHEUS - OFFICIAL MOVIE REVIEW (Trailer HD)

It wasn't bad.

I wouldn't say it was good either though.

Idk.

If you wanna kill two hours

and see a woman have a Cesarian to remove a rapidly growing alien-baby

and see an android become too self-aware and attempt to murder quite a few people.

Then by all means

go see this movie.

If not

don't bother

it'll just confuse you

Hokay,

When I bought tickets to Prometheus I was forced to go 3D, a choice I usually steer clear from as, due to it's expensive price and usually underwhelming effects; I would often leave cinema, post movie, in a fit of rage wondering why I wasted all that money. Not this time. I shat my pants within about 3 seconds of the movie starting, the camera panned over some terrestrial landscape and I was fist pumping in my near empty cinema. It was mindblowingly good 3D.

The movie is based around Dr Elizabeth Shaw (Noomi Rapace), some dude who kinda looks like Tom Hardy, a sinister Michael Fassbender robot (probably my favourite dude in existence), and the crew of Prometheus: a space ship set out to find the creators of mankind. The crew (pre voyage) find some stuff in various caves that they think is an invitation to their creator's planet so they hurry along into space to find out what our ancestors were trying to communicate. They arrive on a planet where it rains metal and octopi make people suck their dicks. As you can tell the journey was a difficult one. 

That is all I will say re: plot as I don't wish to give too much away. 

Over the past few weeks I have been hearing lots of criticisms about the film. I have no fucks to give you if you try and sell me a schpeel about how the film doesn't align with the Alien trilogy and wah wah. Fuck you. It was awesome. I didn't go to the film to engage in a philosophical debate about the origins of man and what-not, I saw Prometheus to watch shit explode out of people's chests and what-not, and my god (lol) did it deliver. 

Noomi Rapace was awesome as Dr. Shaw, and Michael Fassbender was insanely good as the fucked-up, emotionless-but-still-understands-all-human-emotions robot, like duuude, Fassbender can act. If you haven't seen Hunger go see it now. Fuck. That was a rad film. Watch Shame while you are at it. 

One last thing: coming into the film I was worried about the health of Ridley Scott's directing, if you saw Robin Hood you know what I mean. It was ridiculously shit, but I am proud to announce, that he is back to his Blade Runner  days. In 30 years HSC students will be studying the fuck tonnes of religious and greek mythological imagery and such in Prometheus.

I give Prometheus 8/10

Please read the Guide to Movie Reviews on the top of the page for an accurate description of this rating

Sure, the plotline left a little something to be desired

But I'm pretty sure that was mostly intentional

It was obviously set up for a sequel,

so there has to be some things left unanswered

because otherwise, what would the next one be about?

              Prometheus is an astoundingly bold science fiction film that explores the origin of human life. The film is directed by Ridley Scott and stars Noomi Rapace alongside Michael Fassbender. Rapace plays a young scientist named Elizabeth Shaw, who is searching for the beginning of humanity. Fassbender plays David, a mysterious character that I’d rather not reveal in this review. This film was written by former Lost show runner Damon Lindelof. Prometheus reminds everyone why they go to the movies and what cinema is all about.

            The most evident mastery of Prometheus is the visuals that the film puts on display. From the wide tracking shots of space to the gritty expedition led by Shaw, this film looks like real life. This is likely due to Scott’s use of the maximum amount of practical effects that he could possibly incorporate. Within the first 45 seconds, you can already feel the universe Scott is trying to create blasting out of the screen. Prometheus is one of the most beautiful films I have ever seen in my entire life. It could be the most beautiful film I have ever seen. Needless to say, you will be blown away by the visual spectacle on display throughout the film.

            Now for the most controversial part about Prometheus; the story. This film asks some of mankind’s biggest questions. Where did we come from? Where do we go after we die? Were we created by someone or something? Its these questions that have many audiences divided on whether Prometheus is a masterpiece or just pretty sci-fi with no meat. I happen to fall in line with the former. Prometheus may not answer every single question or mystery that it poses, but Scott and Lindelof let you decide the answers for yourself. Much like Lost paved the way for in-depth discussions on it’s own mythology, Prometheus will be dissected for years to come. Scott conveys enough mythology over the film’s 124 minute runtime to understand some of the big ideas. After that, it’s for you to decide what you believe. 2001: A Space Odyssey was despised when it was originally released for having unanswered questions. It was not until years later people realized it was one of the best films ever made. I believe that in time Prometheus will be regarded in the same light. If you like science fiction or just beautiful films, you have to see Prometheus.

Directed by: Ridley Scott

Written by: Jon Spaihts, Damon Lindelof

Starring: Noomi Rapace, Logan-Marshall Green, Michael Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Guy Pearce

Released: June 8th