#project118

There is something in the back of my mind.

I know it’s there. It’s never far behind

My thoughts and feelings are aligned

And they all agree; I’d rather be blind

than open that can of worms and find

A part of me is missing. I don’t know where it went.

Maybe one day I’ll find it, if it’s even still left around.

I think it’s dangling, tangled up and upside down.

A part of me is missing. I know exactly where I left it.

I didn’t want to, but life continued on and dragged me along without it.

Those pieces are separate, but both stem from the same source.

One was left at fourteen, another was abandoned at seventeen.

Two separate parts of teenage me, watching from the memories

as adult me desperately tries to adapt to life, putting shaky boards over holes

Rotting excuses for wood planks. Nailed with nails that don’t stick, 

Some parts of me are missing. I’m all to clear where they went.

right where the top floor meets the railing.

I want to listen to my parents in the kitchen and the cats walk around.

I want to hear my sister thumping about.

If I pick the home of my teenage years,

I want to sit just before the stairs curve.

I want to hear my siblings argue, yell, and play.

And maybe a cat or two will join me as I just sit, and listen.

To my family as they go about their day.

I want to soak in the memories of everyone existing.

Humanity is weird. It’s convoluted and doesn’t adhere to it’s own rules. It’s hard to navigate, and figuring out exactly where one’s place is can lead to dead ends. It is still worth it to navigate it’s confusing maze, I hear, so I’ll keep trying.

Assignment 1: Post