Feb 12
The search for eternity: a record
Day 12: 12/02/1987
My decision is taken. I will do what must be done.
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The search for eternity: a record
Day 12: 12/02/1987
My decision is taken. I will do what must be done.
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The search for eternity: a record
Day 8: 05/02/1987
Time has been passing rather oddly lately.
The clocks in the Hall have all been playing up, but no one can seem to find the source of the problem. Even the 100 boys, who are usually stuck in a perpetual state of smugness (probably the closest we have gotten to eternity, so far!) are genuinely confused.
The search for eternity: a record
Day 7: 03/02/1987
I visited Mamiya in his rose garden today.
The flowers were very pretty, but I was very surprised to find that the snow in his garden still hadn’t melted.
I had been very much looking forward to seeing him, but I was saddened to find him in low spirits. I do not think he believes that Tokiko and I will succeed in what we have set out to do…
Seeing him so resigned fills me with feelings that I do not wish to think about. If he accepts to die of this illness, what will become of Tokiko? What will become of me?
Would I be able to live without him?
The search for eternity: a record
Day 10: 07/02/1987
Akio Ohtori came to see me in my office today. It was a very strange and unexpected visit.
Mr Ohtori is a peculiar man. He sounded as if he knew exactly what the problem in the equation I just cannot make sense of is, but he didn’t tell me. He called me an outsider… I guess I never really fitted in, but to call me an outsider seems quite out of bounds!
He gave me instructions, telling me they were the first step towards revolutionising the world. As if I could follow such crazy methods as the ones he told me to! What he wants to do is strictly impossible! How can I be expected to move forward with my research and attain eternity under management like this?
Oh it hurts me to admit this, but as insane as he seems, there is something extraordinary about him, something that makes me want to trust him blindly…
Why, this is the very opposite of scientific thinking!
The search for eternity: a record
Day 3: 30/01/1987
Today I had tea with an inspector from the board of directors, Tokiko Chida. She is extremely invested in the project, and I feel like she can provide many good insights on it. Of course, she has a more personal reason than me to wish for its completion. Her brother, Mamiya I think, is terminally ill. Reaching eternity, for her, would be to save him.
When she told me this, she cried. It was the first time anyone had cried in front of me. I cannot help but feel a strange attachment to her, and to her brother.
They are so strong.
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The search for eternity: a record
Day 11: 09/02/1987
I don’t even think it’s worth writing this all down anymore. I heard a noise down the corridor from my office, I went to see, and it was Tokiko. With Akio Ohtori. Him of all people! Why, why, why must everything come apart now! I thought we were a family…
Nothing is how it used to be, or at least how I thought it used to be. Everything is coming apart before my very eyes.
At least I have Mamiya. He won’t leave me alone like this… he won’t leave me. I’ll save him, you’ll see!
The search for eternity: a record
Day 9: 06/02/1987
It is truly amazing how much mere technicalities can influence some people. The time problems still aren’t solved, and the 100 boys are using it to spread ridiculous rumours that this means that we are, right now, attaining eternity. How childish! If they had been focusing properly on our research, they would know that distortions in time cannot be an effect of the phase of the project that we are working on right now. It is simply illogical! I have discussed these matters with Mamiya, and he is in total agreement with me.
The search for eternity: a record
Day 9: 06/02/1987
I am struggling with an equation I just cannot seem to solve. No matter how hard I try, how many times I stop and come back to it, I cannot make sense of all these numbers.
Just to make matters worse, the clocks are still malfunctioning, even after Tokiko sent in someone to deal with the problem.
All this is making me tired and confused and nothing even makes sense anymore. This is not the state of mind I need to be in to help Tokiko and Mamiya!