#proestry

reckless and desperate.

Clawing

open my chest and

giving you my tattered heart

like a dog

presenting it's owner with roadkill.

Its been one of those days my love

where I feel desperate for your

skin. Skin that I've never felt

beneath my fingers. I'd lay

my head on your chest

love and breath you in deep, reveling

in the sound of your

heartbeat.

I'd build us a blanket fort,

hidden

from the world even if just for the

night. Where nothing and no one

could touch us. We'd be untouchable,

undetectable, our love like an invisibility cloak,

I’ve heard that when you lose someone you love,

You lose a part of yourself,

And I’ve asked before how many things you can love

At once. 

I’ve found the answer in all of the songs that remind me of train stations and art galleries and spinning sushi dates and blue eyes and rings that meant something, truly.

I’ve found the answer in old photographs and recipes and stories that date back long before I was ever a thought.

I’ve found the answer in teardrops and vows and warm smiles and silly arguments.

I’ve found the answer in piano keys and dusty stuffed animals and old shoes with permanent marker staining the soles.

I’ve found the answer in growing life, in learning how to take care of more than just myself, in loving ten more little fingers and ten more little toes, in soaking up every new experience. 

I’ve found the answer in every feeling that has ever passed through my body, every heartbeat I’ve ever had, every breath I’ve ever taken.

There are an infinite number of things that I’ve loved and will continue to love. 

Numbered far more than the stars that have names that I do not know, far more than the grains of sand I can trace hearts into, and far more than any work that has ever been written about love, about loss, about eternity. 

It took me forever to eat

my breakfast for dinner

Last morning

Because all my spoons were dirty

Tonight

So I used a fork

And found god at the bottom

Of my cereal bowl

Organic silk soy milk prayers drowned

Granola flax seed angel wings

he told me

You always find things you didn’t know were lost

When you’re not looking

I thought over his words

and said

I’ve never owned a scarf

Until now

And it keeps me warm when

The rain sounds like Chopin

Is in the alley outside

Beneath my window