The Girl Behind The Red Door...

Every part of me aches,

but it’s all for something different-

A timeline shift

A second chance

A mind that belongs to anyone but the fool that I am

A heart of stone so I can no longer feel the suffering of every other living thing

A moment of existence where the universe’s timing does not laugh at us.

I am a creature of chaos

A creator of life

And unworthy of the air that I breathe

I am halfway to the stars

To ashes

Made up of soft mornings and lightness

Of you

and of me

Together in one way or another

It exists now in words and thoughts from so long ago

In photographs and letters and scrapbooks of what was

What we were

And what will never be again

All of the echoes of longing

Of love

Are neatly packaged and stored on a bookshelf or

In a drawer or

a box

Or an attic

And I cannot bear to catch sight of them

Ever again

This world was ours once

The excess weight leaks from my eyes and weakens my bones

My flesh is withering and I am throwing soil and watering everything with all of the blood I can squeeze from my chest

Creating a breeze with the air left in my lungs

Staying upright with a broken spine

I am riddled with splinters of mistakes and I am carrying things