I've had non-epileptic seizures for most of my life, I didn't know they were called this until I read the dsm-5 description for the dissociative identity disorder, and they're mentioned in there. The seizures usually mean that I will start shaking, gasping uncontrollably, collapse to the ground, lose control of my limbs and breathing, and start twitching and thrashing on the ground. I'm conscious during this and aware of everything that's going on. It usually happens when I'm alone and trying to relax, I won't have them in front of other people. I can usually feel them coming 10-20 seconds before they happen, it just feels like something is off and I can't breathe properly or feel immense pressure inside and tremors in my body.
They can last from 20 seconds to five minutes, I've sometimes had longer but rarely, and once it's over I will dissociate and go do something else, forgetting I've even had a seizure until later I find I'm not able to breathe properly and remember what happened.
I didn't know why I was getting these, and then I was doing an exercise to try and process a traumatic experience, using the process I found in the 'Overcoming Mind Control and Ritual Abuse' book. The part of the exercise was to take every emotion you felt during the trauma, and put it in a box. I was easily going through emotions of fear, panic, grief and terror and putting them into a box, until I got to anger, and the second I thought of it I got a seizure. Which clarified to me, that the seizures were the product of unprocessed anger.
Learning this information inspired me to try and be more angry, but I haven't had any actual progress, I have trouble getting angry if there's nothing to set me off, and if I am angry, I feel so frustrated and out of control, I just want to calm down. My symptoms of unprocessed anger got worse; my shoulders and neck are so tense and rigid now they're in constant pain, my jaw is painful from the constant stress and I am gritting my teeth during sleep, causing them to hurt as well. I can't physically hit or kick anything because at this point it hurts my neck.
If you've ever deal with such an issue, did you manage to resolve it? Also, does anyone else have seizures like this, and if you do, do you also have the dissociative identity disorder, or osdd, or cptsd? I would love to know more and if there are any treatment options for this. I can tell my body will continue to deteriorate if I don't do anything.
