#probably june

The more I fear our memories are turning into haze

Each passing day our interactions become more distorted

Your voice falls underwater, your face blurs in my psyche

All but the warmth and safety you provided–

That I could never forget in all its vivid color.

Regardless of how removed from the moment

My memories of you have become,

Those very memories fill my mind to its brim,

They play like reruns of a favorite classic sitcom

And in me they elicit the very same laughter and melancholy.

What a pleasure it is to rejoice in these stories and characters,

What a shame it is that the network stopped producing new episodes.

No matter how grainy our bodies appear

I will not cease daydreaming of memories aired moons ago.

I dwell on season one shenanigans

Names forgotten and new ones formed,

Our innocent crushes and benevolent flirting

Never seemed capable of transcending the realm of ‘friend’.

I instantly found comfort in you every time we met.

The first time I saw you in every dimension,

Inhaled the same air as you and felt your flesh with my own,

It was effortless.

Nothing was as easy as sinking into your side

Or wrapping my arms around you

As you piggy-backed me across the campus.

We disappeared for months at a time

Our friendship on hiatus

But we always returned as if no time had passed

With the same rhythms and names and benevolent flirting.

Oh and I spoke of you in your absence,

I’d say “you remind me of this friend I had”

“He was always there for me, always kind”

“And I had a crush on him, and I think he liked me too”

“But he was so respectful and I’m rambling”

“Aren’t I?”

One could hardly call it a plot twist–

It made perfect sense, did it not? –

That I would tell you I’d love nothing more

Than to be your one and only,

That you would cry from sheer joy,

That we would fall in love.

👁️👁️

oH MY GOD I LOVE YOU