#pro sui

It’s the kind that presses against your throat

teaching you to swallow every reaction before it escapes.

You learn to read moods like weather patterns

to brace for storms that shouldn’t be yours to endure.

And after a while, you stop asking why.

You just shrink yourself down to whatever size keeps you safest

I was raised to be useful.

Useful to adults who should have protected me

Useful to people who benefitted from my silence.

Useful to anyone who wanted a compliant, forgiving, self blaming girl

Its my fate, and i want to leave now

I was so scared yo uwere going to kill me. So scared.

Now i can listen back on it when you get sorry and i forgive you. I always forgive you and i always will. But i need to remember this because i forget

i will die one day by your hands.

I know it.