Jan 11, 2019
Sergeant Sapp: What are you doing, Private?!
Private Piddler: Doing, sir?
Sergeant Sapp: D-o-i-n-g. What are you doing?
Private Piddler: I’m listening to you spell “doing,” sir.
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Sergeant Sapp: What are you doing, Private?!
Private Piddler: Doing, sir?
Sergeant Sapp: D-o-i-n-g. What are you doing?
Private Piddler: I’m listening to you spell “doing,” sir.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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The most well-crafted, least prone to exploding robot the Glanz Empire has to offer
I drew some Spiddlers for @sergeantsapp a few weeks ago and it was the perfect opportunity to attempt to draw something different~ I’ve never drawn a mech like this before
Janne: Careful, you idiot!
Private Piddler: Sorry, sir! I’m doing my best!
Janne: Who made that man a mech pilot?
Sergeant Sapp: I did, sir. He’s my cousin.
Janne: *To Nikolai* Who is he?
Nikolai: He’s an Asshole, Janne.
Janne: I know that: What’s his name?
Nikolai: That is his name: Asshole. Sergeant Asshole.
Janne: And his cousin?
Nikolai: He’s an Asshole too. Private Piddler Asshole.
Janne: How many Assholes have we got on this ship, anyhow?
Entire Bridge Crew: *stands up and raises a hand, except for one person* Yo!
Janne: I knew it, I’m surrounded by Assholes. Keep firing, Assholes!
I have some backstory and future headcanons that I don't remember if I ever posted to the chat, but I definitely didn't post them to tumblr regardless, so here comes the Spiddler
Even though among the other soldiers, they're no different to everybody else, the asterisk holders have decided they're the mascots of the Glanz Empire, because they're the two soldiers who have made their way into the Kaiser’s throne room for whatever reasons the most, by quite a wide margin, to the point where they may as well represent the entire army.
The rest of their squadron are event more incompetent than they are. Sapp and Piddler eventually ended up as a duo because they were the only ones who managed to show up to assignments. The rest eventually faced the wrath of the Firing Squid.
Oblivion held a competition for the soldiers to write an anthem for the Empire, and Sapp did a brief music course at college, so they tried their hand at it. Nikolai was the only one who objected their song being used.
Piddler gets crushes on all the awesome-seeming higher-ups, and Sapp is one of them. Everyone knows Sapp feels the same way, but it takes years for him to admit it.
In the first world, they play a huge role in the ‘final sidequest’, where the party must choose whether to let Khint kill a bunch of Imperials for the death of his daughter, or if they should let Victor have them arrested for the creation of the Amphisbaena. Sapp and Piddler get away in both instances, but the choice affects whether they return to the Empire to fight the party, or if they leave the Empire to try other careers. I'll probably write the full version of this at some point.
They do try other careers in the second world, however, once the events of B2nd are over. They spend a few years travelling the world as a comedy duo, before getting hired by Angelo to work for him in his bakery. This was a total accident, much like how they joined the Empire in the first place. Piddler unintentionally walked into an interview and happened to mention that one time he placed first in the Caldislan national baking competition, which netted him a job. Eventually, the two of them ended up running a branch of the bakery in Norende, with Sapp finally getting to put his scholar days to use some 20 years after graduating by being in charge of the economical side of the business. Technically, he has a degree in magic studies, but he took economics as a supplement, so he sort of knows what he's doing.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Angelo: What are you?!
Sapp & Piddler: An idiot sandwich!
Angelo: Idiot sandwich what?!
Sapp & Piddler: An idiot sandwich Chef Angelo!
Sapp: Men, make 'em swiss!
Piddler: ...
Sapp: Cheese, man, cheese.
Piddler: Not hungry, sir!
Sapp: I'm up to my tits in morons.
Angelo: What are you?!
Sapp & Piddler: An idiot sandwich!
Angelo: Idiot sandwich what?!
Sapp & Piddler: An idiot sandwich Chef Angelo!