#princesslov27

I wish life and relationships weren’t so complicated. I wish it was like in my books and stories. I mean there’s still some strife but you know there’s someone for you who both loves you and has your back. I have no one to turn to and just feel alone. And I can’t get myself to get suicidal, which while good, still doesn’t make the pain I’m feeling right now okay at all. I can’t talk to my moms or my dads, I don’t have a therapist, the friend I thought I could talk to is who I’m crying over, the friends I know I can talk to I also can’t get myself to because I don’t wanna disturb them...

I wish I knew where to ask for a drawing. I want an Aphrodite with not just large breasts and a curvy figure. I want curvy plus a little belly and some stretchmarks and scars. Because that’s the Aphrodite I roleplay. I love her so much but I just wish I could make her a have a physical representation that people could see rather than just their minds eye.

I want to die but I want to live. I don't have any happiness for the future. It doesn't look bright. I hate this so much. But I'm a coward who wants to live because I want to write and read and hug kitties and so on and so forth.

Respect. It's something we all want. Doing so and asking for it can sometimes result in taking away the respect from another person. It's a hard ground. If you mess up you mess up forever. And yet... How do you explain that you want respect for certain reasons and want me to see from your perspective while not seeing mine for as to why I wouldn't like it want that? It's the thing that constantly comes up, the conundrum. And trust me I've fallen for it too. No matter how hard I try not to. How do we find the right balance and get to where we love humans all of us and can respect all of us? How do we not keep pushing our perceptions on people and hating and start loving? Just because I can't understand your way of life because of something I identify with doesn't mean I'm unwilling to be there for you and help you and pray for you and love and support you. But I know I've been seen as a certain way just by being me. And so has everyone else. And yes there are things out there that exist that are in society's mind make certain people above others. But we can't tear that down by assuming that everyone that is that way is an asshole. Because that goes back to the beginning deal of respect. It's supposed to be a two way street. But we can't make everyone like us, everything about me I'm sure someone out there would hate. And two way street means it's equal. This is the ideal so how do we accomplish it? Late night talk with my mom brought me some musings. So had to get it out.

I work cash register and front of the house at a nice fast food restaurant.

In the fourth band and so happy.