I fear I'm not as good at analyzing text as i used to be. What do you mean the friction is lost? Why is there friction from feeling good with the antagonism of the captions, but not with the pursuit of validity (thru captions i think)?
Speaking about trans men in particular here, in relation to the captions and transitioning in general. Being trans creates friction, regardless of whether you are supported or not. Some people seek to ameliorate that through affirmative words, and though there's an audience for that, I don't get off on it.
Because the question is not "what is a man?", but instead "what to do about being a man?" The friction comes from choosing to live, not trying to wrestle the gender goal posts from the establishment. I question the point of seeking validation for my transgressive existence within a framework that excludes me by design. So when I say "friction", I mean the friction that comes from knowing there is no place for you in the larger schema, even if somebody offers you that abstract validation.
In terms of the captions, I'm not interested in telling somebody that he is a man despite X, Y, and/or Z. It seems beside the point. And personally, if I focus too much on validating myself as I am now, I lose out on who I could be. It distracts me from the very thing that drew me to becoming, as an eternal action, in the first place—which is to live fully with an unstable sense of self.
Does becoming frighten you? 'Man' is a mirage of a destination. As you seemingly approach, it distorts and changes shape, until at close examination it reveals itself to be nothing more than an ever-shifting assemblage of granular particles.
Does becoming excite you in equal proportion? Pushing yourself to become more and more of who you are, until there is nothing else left but you? Journey into the undertaking that cannot be prepared for in advance. This is the nature of force: you must go forward knowing that nothing will grant you the comfort of certainty.
