Ethical Relativity Within The Context Of Actions Vs Statements;
(Disciplined Traditionalism As A Core Set Of Virtues)
I chose to write about the virtues of tradition and discipline as they are defined within generalized language and what they mean to me, why they matter to me, and how they relate to my own history, present actions, and why they are vital to the goals I have for my own future.
Tradition (paraphrased from Mirriam Webster) can be a common way of thinking, acting and behaving (a social norm) or it can be the stories of the past that are accepted as historically accurate despite not having been verified. Other definitions include the information and customs that are passed along from one generation to the next without being written down, a cultural norm regarding attitudes and institutions, or the manner, method and style that characterizes a specific group of people or concepts.
Discipline (paraphrased from Mirriam Webster) includes the control others teach you by enforcing obedience, the actual standard of behaviour expected, punishment itself, and the control that individuals have over themselves. Another definition names it as the training that corrects and advances mental faculties or moral character.
I have always believed that these two virtues are intentionally meant to balance each other - my mother and I didn't always get along, but she did teach me so much about our history and the traditions of her family and my fathers family. She kept the recipes and the traditional holidays active during the years the family was getting along, and it honestly hurt her so much when those traditions faded and stopped being important. She stopped her own happy traditions, like cooking the foods that meant a lot to her as a Jewish mother, the foods that were only meant to be shared. The shift in our family norm was so clear and painfully definitive, that I will always remember the traditions that got abandoned, because they were the customs I was raised with. They were what we knew of joy and family, what we considered unity. The last year of her life, she did her best to resume those traditions with my help, as emotionally difficult as that was. And I know how much it meant to both of us, even though other family members didn't or couldn't participate, because my mother and I had reconciled two years before her death.
When it comes to discipline, many of the ways my family and I interacted when I was a child were harmful, and I couldn't trust most adults. I most definitely didn't trust myself because I often couldn't find an adult to help so I would simply react and do anything to make it through the day. I lacked self control because I'd run from one bad situation only to end up in another bad situation. As an adult, it took time to forgive those who had hurt me, and it took time for me to even want to make amends for things I'd done as a minor - and this wasn't always possible because even now, there are those who silence me and who have stated that they've no intention of forgiving me. And that's their choice (I am going to state here that it is absolutely TOXIC to have that stated by someone who was an ADULT when I was only a CHILD, and that adults should help children, not hold grudges against them and silence them when they ask for help, but I digress) - the only control I have over that situation is to respect what they want, and to allow myself to be silenced when near them. Because they've every right to exist and be respected. My own existence doesn't take precedence over the existence of others. It never has and it never should. I have other ways in which to express the pain I feel without disturbing individuals who are still being toxic, and that is what I consider disciplined action. It also aligns with the military values I was taught while young and how they were enforced - punishment as a discipline, however, that's a tricky one for me to discuss. The world will punish individuals quite often, no matter who they are or what they've done, because there's absolutely no way to be liked by everyone. I have guilt issues that I know logically I shouldn't have, and I've yet to meet anyone who wasn't battle damaged from existing - and this especially includes those I know with absolute certainty by their actions to be some of the kindest people I've ever encountered. Some of those people were strangers and I don't know their name, just where I met them and what they were doing. So I think self control as a part of discipline includes by necessity forgiving myself and being kind to myself rather than punishing myself for mistakes I made decades ago. It also means I have to enforce my own rules when at work because many people are adept at spotting vulnerability in individuals so they can use their kindness against them. And that means that those who have some say in the situation on how to behave within that setting (for example, within GT, those with roles that specify what the person can assist with)
The level of structure (I don't use the word hierarchy because in GT, even those with roles have stated that they're not authority figures, and that all members are equals) within the Gallifreyan Tradition have been extremely helpful in my own life because I now have a public server again but it is strictly moderated to avoid issues, and roles must be requested, approved, and can be revoked to keep the server professional and positivity based. It isn't a casual server, it is a professional server with active projects that aren't announced until there's enough done to announce them, and we've added a transparency channel along with simplified channels that only those with roles can access. And that server was created and made public after this assignment once a harmful situation involving the fandom was resolved by myself and another staff member; I asked support staff to encourage the person who was being harmful to pursue free resources and professional help with their mental health. I posted transparency to the harmful person themselves to prove that the blog being used wasn't followed by anyone other than support staff, and I have since deleted that blog entirely as I had promised to. Tradition goes far too much in depth with my own history, but that's why discipline is very important to me in regards to safety issues; I have been harassed, bullied, legitimately stalked to the point that police have had to intervene, and that has never meant that I will be silent when it comes to my own history - I was put in child porn BECAUSE I was silent, and so was a friend of mine - I was too afraid after reporting a child molestor to speak up again. The weight of that guilt lessens each time that I speak out because obviously as a child, I wasn't certain how to save other children, but as an adult I still blame myself for failing all of those who were hurt because two of the men who were raping children were never punished and did not serve time for their actions. For all I know, they could still be hurting children. So I have to be the one who sets my own rules about how to approach me while trying to adjust my own communications with others who don't know me yet.
It can be impossible during flashbacks to interact appropriately, and I can't always understand how to even follow the protocols for it, but I do have people locally and online who know what to do in those situations. They help guide me out of those situations - not always before I've interacted with several confused people that I apologize to afterward - and that's because they don't have PTSD but are aware of what happens and what might have triggered the sudden lack of self-control. So followers in our server despite it being a whovian server are only allowed to post in text channels and join voice channels without speaking. Other roles have more access but have to be requested unless the staff already knows the person. And that's to prevent any harm to staff, to cast and crew, or to those who have given us financial or emotional support. And I think that's a really good use of both tradition (the knowledge of my own history) and discipline (the enforcement of safety and self control within a professional setting that is public in nature).
I know I've gone over the word requirement, and I tried to keep this fairly short, but those two virtues are so complex and so very valuable that I found them difficult to summarize without editing heavily rather than writing from the heart.
Sites used for reference:
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/discipline
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tradition
@dreaming-of-the-second-sun
