#pregnancyfears

So I have been pretty busy lately. I have been going to the hospital twice a week now for testing, fetal heartbeat and ultrasound the movements and measurements. She is measuring slightly small, but still only two weeks behind. Other than that everything is normal, her vitals and movements, organs, fluid, everything.So tomorrow I will be induced! I am freaking the hell out about this. I am not mad, but scared. Let’s just be honest, labor is scary.  I am worried about not being a good mother, dropping my daughter, pulling away from my S/O, the pain after birth. What if I tear or am cut? What if it goes all the way back and deep into the colon? Ya I have read about this happening. I am freaking out about the pain after birth and dealing with it all at home on my own. Using the bathroom while stitched up! Will it hurt? How exactly do I clean? Will that hurt? Can I tear my stitches by walking or using the bathroom or standing up? What if I get an infection on the wounds?!! These are my fears.  I’ve also had some moms tell me that after you deliver sometimes you feel empty inside, like a part of you is missing even though you can now hold that piece of you I guess you can still feel like you yourself are missing something. But not to worry, because it passes and a lot of women feel that way. I am getting an epidural. I have read a lot of positive things on it. I am the type of person that when in pain I tense up, which can stall labor itself. I have read a lot of women who have said that once they actually got the epidural all of a sudden their labor actually moved faster because their bodies where then able to do what it needed to do. I will come back and let all of you know my own personal experience with everything.  But we live in a great time of modern medicine where we have so much at our finger tips. Why not utilize it! Also recently my wrists have begun to hurt, almost like a carpal tunnel. I have read that this can happen in pregnant women in the third trimester do to swelling and pressure on the nerves. Yay....final stretch...just keep telling myself that, and that its all worth it.

So the health portion of this I have been eating smaller more frequent meals throughout the day. The last time I weighed myself I  had gained the 35 pounds and I seemed to stay there. It finally got warm where I live, so I have been swimming laps which is amazing!!!! I am able to just swim and swim and swim! I knew I had not lost any of my endurance! I hardly get tired! So if you have accesses to a pool and are in your third trimester, go swim! Your feet and back will thank you! I have still been doing the same upper and lower body routine as the last few weeks on the same day. I still walk my dog, but I am lucky if I reach a mile. Not only do my feet hurt but it is just to hot for me. 

Baby is moving so much more, especially during the night! Good and bad, good because baby is alive and well, bad because I can not get a complete good nights sleep. I’ve talked about this before but as baby gets bigger the movements are stronger and so much  more uncomfortable.  Hurt my back last week, right where the tailbone is. I tried an old lower body workout, and at the end of the day it felt as though I had broke my tail bone! Really it was a strain, but boy was it uncomfortable for several days. Couldn’t lay or sit right. Finally went bra shopping too. None of my old bras officially fit right. I’ve been putting it off because my body is changing so much I didn’t want to spend money on a bra that I might only fit into for a few weeks, but it is better to try and make ones self as comfortable as possible, especially when you have to go out. Went to my first hockey game! Was just a local game but still so much fun. I officially like hockey, pretty entertaining the whole game.  Super bowl Sunday was nothing special for once. The S/O and I ran errands, cleaned out babies room ,and went and registered. I think we went over board but hey its our first kid. I keep having nightmare dreams, and vivid ones at that. I am deathly afraid of dropping my baby (babies have always made me nervous because of how small and fragile they are. I always shy’d away from holding them., and I was in a bad car accident a few years ago and my neck is still not completely heeled), and I had one friend who did drop his baby while in the bath. I know that things happen and most likely I will be fine, but it is the one thing I keep dreaming about. So if you had or are having nightmares or scary thoughts too about baby I think it is pretty normal, especially with the first baby. 

So mostly I have been walking a lot still. about 2-3 miles every day(it takes me about an hour to do this).  One day after my walk I might come home and continue on the stationary bike for about 15 minutes. Another day I do an all arm, shoulder, and back workout. Here is my routing for that (by the way tone it up has great 10 minute arm, shoulder, or back workouts if you are short on time or do not have the energy for 20+ minutes of strength training,)

           Hammer curls (alt. wide and normal) 4sets 10reps lateral raises 3sets                20reps, reverse fly 4sets 10reps, chest fly 4sets 15reps,                                   skull crushers 3sets 20 reps. upward row 4sets 10reps. (weights very depending on level of fitness and what one is comfortable with.)