#pre-arr

A'viloh marvelled at the other Miqo'te’s archery skills. Maybe one or two of A'vi’s own arrows had found their target while all the others had missed or didn’t even fly far enough. His skills had improved a little over the last few weeks but alone he would never ever manage to take such a monster down.

When Laqa did it though, it seemed so absurdly easy! The way he fought, the unflinching look in his golden eyes, every single one of his movements, the way he went still amid the turmoil before letting the arrow fly - it all mesmerised A'viloh.

"Phew! That was a tough one.", the blonde Miqo'te said and ran the back of his hand over his forehead as he turned to A'viloh. "You think three ones will be good enough to impress Gundobald?"

The two of them had arrived at Little Ala Mhigo around three months ago and while they had managed to befriend a few people, a lot of them remained wary of them. The most stubborn of them was Gundobald, who was unfortunately also the leader of this settlement. He tolerated them so far but winning his sympathy seemed like an impossible task. For U'laqa however this was more of a challenge than a hindrance and he took on every possible task that might enhance their reputation in the Ala Mhigan’s eyes. Today that had meant decimating the Peistes which had increased more and more around the settlement over the last few weeks.

"I don’t think anything is enough to impress Gundobald." A'viloh laughed. "You could bring down a Primal all by yourself and all you‘d get would be one of his stoic huffs."

U'laqa chuckled and yanked the arrows from the Peiste‘s corpse. "You‘re right. It just bugs me that I can’t win that stubborn old man over…"

"Ah yes... I can see how that‘s a heavy blow for someone as much-loved as you!", A'viloh teased.

Laqa handed him some of the arrows, then leaned down and planted a small kiss on A'vi’s lips. "I don’t care if they love me or not as long as you do, Vi…"

"You know that I always will, no matter how many monsters you can fight…", A'viloh blushed and fidgeted with the arrows in his hands. "...but if you want to we could try to take out another one."

U'laqa shook his head. "Nah! It‘s enough for one day."

"Alright, but I will try to aim a little better next time…", A‘viloh promised.

Laqa grinned and winked at him. "Maybe you actually would if you concentrated on what I taught you instead of staring at me half of the time."

"I am not!", A'viloh protested.

"Yes you are!", the other teased and nudged him.

A'viloh giggled. "Why would I? It’s not like you look distractingly handsome when you’re fighting…"

"You’re flattery isn‘t going to save you from target practice, Vi!", U'laqa teased, took his hand and pulled him along.

For a while he let A'viloh shoot arrows at a cactus from various distances, giving advice and correcting his posture, the later with a little more physical contact than would have been strictly necessary - Focus, Vi!, he teased knowing very well what he was doing - before he pressed a kiss to A'vi‘s cheek from behind and announced: "I guess that’s enough. Let’s call it a day."

A'viloh went to get his arrows while Laqa lay down under a big green tree nearby, that defied the blazing sun and offered them a patch of comfortable shadow. A'viloh sat down beside him and observed the view. Little Ala Mhigo at their backs, the landscape of Broken Water stretched out in front of them, the road leading towards Camp Drybone at their left and the ancient ruins of the Belah‘dian temple to their right. Not a soul to be seen far and wide.

"This is a nice spot, isn’t it?", A'viloh asked and looked down to Laqa.

"Mhmm… I really like the view.", he answered, deliberately looking at A'viloh instead. The red-haired Miqo'te looked at him as if he wanted to say Don’t be silly! but U'laqa reached out for him and pulled him down towards himself before he could say another word.

He made sure all was clean and away properly before making his way around the back to where Dark Autumn practiced marksmanship, watching for a few minutes as she drew back her bow and let fly an arrow, the head sinking into the target several yalms away. It was nearly center, but his daughter still frowned and drew another arrow.

Her muscular arms gleamed with sweat, and her tunic was damp and stained with it. Her hair was currently too short to stick anywhere, but also seemed damp. 

Iron shook his head. It had been nearly five years since she had been brought home, injured and feverish, from Carteneau. Her nightmares had been horrible. She still had them, but less frequently; she no longer jumped at fire or random sounds, had little ways and mental exercises to keep herself level. It had been a long road—one she’d likely walk the rest of her life, regardless, but with the help of a damned good conjurer interested in the mind as much as the body, and the support of her family, Dark was doing well for one of the survivors of that particular hell.

And now she was preparing to go out into the world again.

With the loss of Howl and Dance and their little group, he wasn’t sure what her plan was; perhaps join the Adventurer’s Guild. He couldn’t see her in the local guards or militias. Much as Dark was a homebody, she also liked her freedoms, to come and go as she pleased.

He might ask, if she didn’t tell them, sooner or later.

She’d been doing more work with her lance and bow in earnest recently. She had taken to running long distances along the shaded roads over hills and back again. Exercises to improve her strength and dexterity. All good and necessary, after so long doing regular house and farm work, if she did plan to go back to mercenary adventuring.

He just didn’t want her to overdo it.

As she collected her arrows, he whistled to catch her attention. She looked up, startled, and gave him a sheepish smile. Iron smiled back. “Think that’s enough for one day,” he drawled. “Best get cleaned up for supper, or Mama’ll fuss at us both.”

She considered, realizing the time. Then nodded. She was more like him in that regard than any of her other siblings; not using words when none were needed.

He helped her clean and put her equipment away, sending her on ahead to the wash. Iron sighed. Stubborn girl didn’t know when to quit, once she had an idea in her head.

Maybe not such a bad thing, if he was right about the path she meant to take.

Nineteen years predating the Seventh Umbral Calamity, a new brood of Viera kits were born in the Veena village of Akusos. The cycle of breeding came and went like clockwork for the Viera who lived there. After all, with the Garleans waging war just outside their borders and the ability, or lack thereof, of their men to survive in the unforgiving wilderness at the base of the Skatay Range, they found themselves needing to replenish their numbers often in order to survive. Among these children was an odd kit who would one day come to be known as Phen. 

Their mother only bore the one child. Rael, her name was. She had only recently come of age to participate in the breeding cycle, and even so her priorities often seemed to lie elsewhere. She was one of the most skilled hunters in their village, constantly venturing out into the forest to procure prey for her peoples’ survival. Even pregnancy didn’t stop her in this plight. It was this very reason that the child’s father, Kir, sought Rael when the time came. A Wood Warder since the age of fourteen, like all other males of their kind, he spent the vast majority of his days in the forests as a protector. He’d known Rael since they were both kits themselves, having been born roughly around the same breeding cycle. He had always admired her kindness, her fearlessness. The two found themselves drawn together the moment they were able. Warriors at their core exchanging a passion that ventured far beyond their responsibilities for Akusos.

This fearlessness, passion, and edge of reckless disregard they both possessed would be passed down to their child, but neither would live long enough to see it. A Garlean ambush came at no surprise, but this one came dangerously close to the village itself. Kir performed his duties to the best of his abilities, but not his efforts nor the efforts of other Warders in the surrounding area could drive the Garleans away from Akusos. There were far too many of them, brandishing suits of magitek that could cut down their most skilled fighters in an instant. Rael led a party of the village’s most skilled hunters out into the field in order to drive the invaders out by force. Their success met with a heavy cost. Neither Rael nor Kir returned from the ordeal. Knowing the behavior of their lineage, the village elder, a woman named Dava, decided that taking their child under her personal care would be for the best.

And Phen never knew any different. Their mother died when they were only three years old. The decade that had passed since then held a deeper grip on their memories. Not that they imagined things would have been easier had she survived. Throughout their life they were met with nothing but scolding and disappointment from Dava. It had always been “don’t.” Don’t ask questions like that. Don’t wander outside the village by yourself. Don’t touch those weapons. Don’t speak about that gift of yours. Don’t grow too attached to being a Wood Warder. Don’t question the Green Word.

But they were cursed with an insatiable curiosity. No matter how many times they were told no, they did it again anyway. That reckless behavior made it so Dava kept them separate from the other kits, raising them in isolation lest their misguided ways infect the other young ones. Every effort she made to teach them the proper ways of the Veena clan backfired. Of course, it was in part that very isolation that made them crave answers. Phen didn’t understand the prospect of simply accepting certain things at truth without being told why. Dava always shut them down whenever they prodded at a subject that she did not want them to know about at that age. She just told herself that the kit would settle down as they got older, that puberty would hit and their gender would provide them with a purpose and all of this would just go away.

How wrong she was.

Phen appeared to be growing into a lovely young woman, much to Dava’s relief and the kit’s dismay. Dava immediately got to work preparing the thirteen year old for her new responsibilities as a woman of Akusos. Surely the prospect of training as a hunter would appeal to the child’s tendency towards the same behavior as her mother. But what Dava found was only further resistance. 

When her puberty started, Phen felt like she was living in a waking nightmare. Her body was rebelling against her. There had to be some sort of mistake. From what she knew and felt of the two genders, she had always resonated with the males of their race. Everything about being told she was female felt… wrong. Feeling the tenderness in her chest often brought her to tears. Her facial features remaining soft and absent of angles, her waist curving into an hourglass, the idea that she would one day be expected to bear children? Phen couldn’t believe this was happening to her. 

She, no… he would not surrender to this reality. Phen knew who he was, he was not about to let Dava decide for him. He just needed to gather the courage to say something. And one day after training, he approached the elder.

“Dava, if you could spare a moment, there’s something I wish to discuss.” Phen requested before returning to his room, his head bowed to show his respect.

“Make it quick, Phen. You know I have little patience to answer questions about things that do not concern you.” Dava responded sharply, hardly looking up from the task that presently occupied her.

“Of course. I…” Anxiety swirled in his chest, but he raised his gaze and steeled himself for the worst. “I’ve been giving it some thought, and I was wondering if when next the Wood Warders return, I could go with them and begin training to become one.” Phen’s request was immediately met with a seething silence. Dava closed her book and stood, approaching the kit with a dangerous glare. 

“You know full well that women are not permitted to become Wood Warders. The Green Word forbids it.”

“I know, but… I don’t really feel that I am… a woman, I mean. I understand that the developments my body is going through would make it seem as such, but… it doesn’t feel right.”

“What on earth could you possibly mean by such a claim?”

“I mean exactly what I’m saying.” Desperate to be understood, he threw caution to the wind and let emotion take over. “Everything about it feels wrong, like I’m a prisoner in my own skin. Puberty be damned, I am a man, not a woman!”

“Watch your tongue, kit! Need I remind you that it was by the goodness of my heart that you were given a home after the passing of your mother? And now you would stand here and insult her memory, insult our very way of life. Rael would be ashamed of who you grew up to be.”

“But why is what I say so wrong? Why is what I ask to do so wrong? My father died in the name of protecting Akusos, he devoted his life to the protection of our village, of our forests. He took upon him the lonely duty of the Wood Warder with pride and honor. All I have ever wanted was to follow in his footsteps. To protect the land as he did. And now, because you all decide who I am for me, I will not be allowed to do so?”

“What you want, Phen, is any excuse to go off into the outside world! That’s all you have ever wanted, to be rid of this place. Is that not so?”

Phen opened his mouth to respond, then closed it, his face twisting with confliction. He shoved down the dysphoria induced by Dava’s choice to ignore what he shared about his gender and tried to fully consider the question posed to him. “I…” His voice faltered. He pressed his eyes shut, his chest heavy with the reality that she was right. With a deep sigh, he opened his eyes and brought them back to hers. “Can you blame me? All my life you have kept me sheltered away, able to experience nothing but the four walls of our home. Does it truly surprise you that I now look to the stars and yearn for the freedom to know more than that?”

Dava crossed her arms, greatly disappointed by what this kit became despite her best efforts to prevent it. She shook her head, her eyes daggers upon the child. “Then go.”

Phen’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry?”

“I hereby exile you from the village of Akusos. Leave now, and do not return.”

“Dava—” His voice swelled with panic.

“My decision is final. You have spat in the face of the Green Word for the last time, kit. The wilderness will decide your fate now.”

The Warders all knew better than to aid the young kit that had entered the forests that evening. The circumstances by which the, what appeared to their eyes to be female, child came to be in the wilderness could only mean one thing: the elder had exiled the kit, and deemed them Veena no longer. For a mercy, Phen had been allowed to keep the bow and quiver of arrows he had begun training with, but nothing else. After the initial shock and panic from Dava’s decision had passed, he made his preparations swiftly. Believing he had nothing further to lose, he broke into the storehouses and acquired the gear given only to the men of their tribe before they went out into the forest. If he were to be sent out into the world, likely to his death, he would do so with dignity, unbound by the clothing expected of someone assigned female. 

That first night proved particularly difficult. The cold bit through even the armor on his forearms and legs, his exposed midriff numb and bright red with irritation as the unforgiving winds tore against his body. But despite the tips of his fingers feeling as though they might break off, he used a partial cave and a haphazardly built wall of snow to shelter himself through the night. When he awoke, it felt like he had frozen in place, his body wracked with profuse shaking. It probably would have been easier to simply lay there and die, but something inside him wouldn’t allow that. A fire burned in his chest and told him that this world held more for him than to freeze to death as a child. And with that determination, he found the strength to pull himself up off the ground.

Phen spent nine years in that forest, watching Warders from afar, teaching himself the lay of the land, teaching himself how to survive. Though he stumbled through the first couple of years, surviving mostly on luck, he was quick to pick up the skills he needed in order to survive. Hunting, building fires, finding shelter, looting supplies off the bodies of fallen Garlean soldiers, as well as those of Dalmascans and Nagxians who fled into the woods hoping to escape the invaders only to face the unforgiving cold and beasts. Every once in a while he’d find particularly useful supplies off the bodies of ‘adventurers.’ In particular, he once found a gold encrusted vial with a strange blue liquid within it, deciding to keep it in case it held any value.

The more he found himself encountering adventurers, either alive or dead, the more intrigued he became by the concept. Phen would sometimes spend his evenings spying on their camps, hearing their stories about adventures in far away lands that they regaled one another to pass the time. Tales regarding a place called Eorzea caught his attention in particular. People spoke of a great tragedy striking the land, the Calamity, they called it. How many people were in need of aid to rebuild, to gain protection from bandits and ruffians, to find some sort of peace after the red moon Dalamud broke apart and released a ferocious dragon, Bahamut. The more he heard about the place, the more he felt drawn to it. Especially the deserts of Thanalan. How he yearned to free himself from this cold wasteland at the base of the mountains and explore such a place.

One day, the circumstances seemed to align in a most harmonious fashion. A party of adventurers hailing from Eorzea was passing through the forest in pursuit of the mountains of the Skatay Range, with intent on exploring the Burn just beyond them. Phen caught an intriguing conversation about a vial not unlike the one he had acquired a few years past. Fantasia, they called it. They were, of course, speaking of how much value the substance held in the marketplaces, their intention to sell it to line their coin purses. But all that information was lost on Phen once he heard what it could do: using magic to change the user’s entire body as they pleased, including their physical gender. His ears perked and eyes widened with this information. From his vantage point, he pulled the vial from his pocket. The answer to his struggles living with the body given to him at birth…  could it have been this close for all these years? Only one way to find out. Phen opened the vial, and with his heart’s desire at the forefront of his mind, downed its contents. An odd sensation filled his being, as if his skin were rippling across the bone. Overwhelmed by it, he soon lost consciousness.

When he came to, Phen found himself surrounded by that selfsame group of adventurers. He inhaled sharply, pulling the dagger from its sheath at his back and rising to one knee, brandishing the blade in front of him in defense. The first thing he noticed was the… weight, for lack of a better word, between his legs. Then the lack thereof around his chest, as well as an overall different sensation regarding his center of gravity. Had it… worked? 

“Be at ease, lad. We found ya passed out with a pack of coyotes circling around. Thought it best to not let ya become their lunch.” A gruff voice pierced his ears. He turned to find a heavily scarred Roegadyn man with his arms crossed, emerald green eyes staring down at him. Phen’s gaze followed from him to a dark-skinned Elezen woman, a teal haired Miqo'te man, and then back to the Roegadyn. 

“I…” He began responding, immediately taken aback by the sound of his own voice. Between the vastly different physical sensations he felt, the deepening of his voice, and the stranger’s immediate and correct assumption that he was, in fact, male all but confirmed it. Fantasia had done its work. “Thank you.” He finished, easing into the fact that this was now the voice he possessed. As shocking as hearing it had been, it felt right.

The Roegadyn man held out a hand and smiled. Phen sheathed his dagger and took it, graciously accepting the help to rise to his feet. “Name’s Haldryss. That there is Catane,” he gestured towards the Elezen, “and L’lev,” his gaze shifted towards the Miqo’te. “What might you be called, lad?”