#practice run

I’ve been seeing this post everywhere on Twitter and want to give it a try because I’ve been on a sonic kicks a lot lately and also I’ve been practicing on my linework, which I’m starting to like. Coloring on the other hand, wellllllll….. I still got work to do. For me, I think color I can be overwhelmed or lost or what to do so sometimes with some drawing it may look muddy or not as polish or not to my liking. (I know I can be my worst enemy) So I need to find materials to read to understand coloring more. So this was a practice run before I draw anything serious.

I have been reading the IdW sonic scrapnik island and I really like it a lot. It just a fun horror esc story of eggman scrap robot on a mysterious island. I like how sonic is more valuable and tails is geeky out. ( he is sooo flipping adorable 🥰) so I drew Min Ho Kim cover art, I like there’s a lot going on. I thought it would be a good challenge to practice.

I actually start drawing this before the sonic above. I was more focused on the linework here because I’m starting to not like the flat clean style of linework on some of my work. so I’ve been just using the hb pencil on my procreate instead which honestly I like it more. It somehow give it more dimension or something instead of looking stiff. Maybe it just look like I can control the lineweight easier eventhough I am technically using the same method as before. Where I just line and erase if it’s too thick or add more weight by overlapping it.

When I read "Practice run", i really enjoyed reading good things happening to everlark because they prayed and were good god-believing people. I felt happy because at least fictional people are getting good things from god.

Now, i have lived in KSA for 16 years and was surrounded by muslims all around (includes my entire muslim family) there were many opportunities to learn about god and how he loves us and heaven and hell, etc. i tried, i really did and for years i tried following islam but thats where it started.

I rarely remember getting things i prayed or cried to god for. I gave up so much but i prayed and talked to god and learned supplications, read the holy book. But still, it seemed like bad things continued to happen.

I have been one of those kids that have some sort of sickness all the time and its one of the things i prayed about but not only did my diseases cease, i became mentally ill too in my early teens. i became depressed, had BPD and suicidal tendencies. I was always sad or hurt and I prayed to god but i hardly got anything.

I stopped praying about those things but prayed for my gifted memory back but my memory never became better again and takes a turn for the worst every few days later.

I prayed, cried, BEGGED for my cats health, for my health, for my memory, for staying in KSA. I was desperate and cried until my throat was sore and eyes hurt but i didnt get anything... I took part in charity, sat through endless religious talk and lessons, still nothing.

Only a few years ago i finally gained enough courage to leave all things religion behind silently and i feel freer and better. I know i hardly had my prayers answered so why bother trying? why hurt myself? why?

I dont know if i should feel relieved of my religious duties or fear retribution coming for me. I just want the best for me...

Sorry for ranting 😅😅and i hope you got all i was trying to say there...

Hey! Thank you so much for the ask! 💗

One of the reasons why I wrote Practice Run was because I wanted people to see the normal, everyday struggles that people go through, and that being a Christian or believing in God doesn’t necessarily change that. There was a happy ending in the fic because I won’t write a fic without a happy ending, but that doesn’t mean that all problems will have a positive outcome if you pray hard enough.

Prayers are always answered. Sometimes the answer is ‘yes’, sometimes it’s ‘no’, and sometimes it’s ‘not now’. For me, the ‘not now’ answers are always the absolute worst because of my tendencies towards impatience that leads to anxiety. It’s not uncommon for me to get a thought in my head about one of my loved ones that then begins to spiral into some long hypothetical situation that I A: have no control over, and B: may not even happen, all because of a ‘not now’ answer. I tried to demonstrate this ‘not now’ aspect in Practice Run. Peeta didn’t end up getting the job that he thought he wanted, but he eventually got one that was arguably better, and in a place that had a special meaning to Katniss as well. Katniss received a ‘yes’ answer to her prayer when it came to her job, when she thought she might be let go, but she just as easily could’ve received a ‘no’ answer. That doesn’t mean God loved her any less, or was trying to punish her. It just meant that she was where she was supposed to be at the time.

Finally, God doesn’t judge us based on our good works. You won’t “earn” ‘yes’-answered prayers by doing charity work or listening to lectures or sermons. God cares about what’s in our hearts. If our hearts are filled with the joy and peace that comes from knowing that we are cherished beyond all belief, then we can get past even the worst possible obstacles we come across on our journey.

I also want to add here that God is not offended when we question things either. It’s completely normal to question why a prayer was answered ‘no’ or ‘not now’ instead of ‘yes’, and even completely normal to be angry at God from time to time. Children get angry at their parents all the time. It doesn’t mean the parents love them any less.

i fed her her meds and some water, prayed for her and kissed her goodnight. i woke up at 5 am, stumbling blindly in time for her meds and picked her up (she couldnt walk or eat or anything) and thats when i realized that she was dead and cold. i was the only one up, there i was, standing in shock with tears streaming down my face and my dead kitty in my arms.

It was horrible and guess which sofa she died on. the one i always sit on for my studies, the one i usually spend half of my day on. I dont know how many hours had passed but its very hard and i can never sleep on it again despite cleaning it up like crazy. I still see her sitting on it, purring loud as fuck and walking over my laptop on purpose.

last night, i had to try and sleep on it but it was so damn hard and i couldnt close my eyes because where my head was laying was where she was laying last. i ended up sleeping on my parents' couch like a scared toddler.

I can see why Katniss was traumatized and depressed after witnessing that alone in the house and in a way, i think she knew and was in self-denial (just like i was) about Haymitch's decreasing health.

Hey! Thank you so much for the ask! 💗

I am so, so sorry you had to lose your beloved cat in that way! 😢 I can’t imagine how painful that must have been for you, and there is nothing wrong with you feeling traumatised by it 💗 It is completely normal to be frightened and sad.

I’m so glad my fic was able to give you some measure of solidarity. Thank you so much for reading! 💗

The Owl House- Vinera- Practice Run

Spent too long working on this, but it makes me smile.