We have actually settled on our 2 name options already, but aren’t telling people what they are. A piece of advice that I read (that sounded like a good idea, unlike a large percentage of advice for expectant parents I’ve seen) said you might want to keep your name choices to yourself because as soon as you start telling people you’ll begin getting “helpful opinions” about them (in addition to all the other unsolicited advice and opinions that will pour in) that may spoil the name for you. However, once the baby is born & named, only the real assholes will tell you your kid’s name sucks.

Tbh, this is also an aspect of it all that I am able to control, so I want to hold on to that. We are already getting (and will only get more as time goes on, it’s going to be exhausting) questions and comments about the fact that we are not in a relationship, but having a kid together. “Why are you having a kid if you aren’t a couple?” “If you’re having a kid together, why don’t you just become a couple?” Like, dudes, chill out. Even the doctor is kind of confused by it, but he did keep it professional & inoffensive, at least. 

We both want to raise her to be bilingual, which will take some effort on our parts, as neither of us is fluent in a language other than English. I have only high school Spanish under my belt, and Nathan doesn’t even have that. So the plan at this point is for us to learn Spanish so we can use it with Future Baby, but I also want to make sure to have play dates with parents and families who speak Spanish fluently & will use it with baby and with us. Watching TV and movies in Spanish won’t hurt, either, but the research I’ve done all says that it’s not super helpful by itself in ensuring that a kid really knows the language.

Kid books, yay! I’m so excited about sharing books with my kid & reading to her! I already have amazon wishlists with hundreds of books on them because I’m absolutely ridiculous. In addition to books that just look like fun and beloved classics that I enjoy, I have been focusing on looking up diverse books to get for her. I want to make sure to find plenty of racially diverse books, and also books with queer themes and alternative families are really important to me. This kid is going to be growing up in an alternative family, raised by 2 queer parents, and have both Jewish and Christian grandparents.

I would love recommendations for children’s books, but here are some that I am planning on getting:

No, I don’t mind answering!

I actually didn’t always want to have kids, no. Both growing up & in my 20s, I really did not want to have children at all. It wasn’t something I ever saw myself being comfortable doing. And while I definitely do not like the cultural narrative that people who say they don’t want kids will change their minds and want to have them when they get older, it happens to have been the case with me. People change as time goes by, and this happens to have been a change I’ve gone through.

I decided it was time now because it’s possible now, both emotionally and practically (including financially). I’m 34 & don’t want to wait & don’t have to. So here we go!

Congrats!

@powerpuffliz reblogged your post and added:

����Congrats!!

Eeeep you’re going to make such a great parent and your little human is going to do so much good in the world and I’m just so very excited about it!!!!