Concering some feelings relating to my post-high school Interim
I don't like it when people ask me "What did you do to day?" or "What are you up do these days?" these days.
I could tell them the truth "Oh, well I worked on the stats for a space pirate who's going to be in my sci-fi roleplaying game and I listened to a podcast about a mall in two different cities with two different minimum wages and I made a new mix CD and I listened to part of an audiobook by Neil Gaiman about this kid who can travel through the multiverse."
But a little voice in side me says "They won't care about that. That's stupid. They're asking you what 'cool' things you did today. They want to know if you're in school and if you have a job." And sometimes that voice is right and sometimes that voice is wrong, but either way, I always just answer:
I'm proud and more or less happy with what I'm doing right now in between school and the mission in December. Yeah, it's not especially productive and I really should look harder for a job, but I delight in the things I make and not having 82 things to do all the time for the first time since last summer.
I'm not the kind of person who usually lets what others say bother me. So then why is it I don't tell people how I actually spend my time? Why am so I scared of what they'll think? Why do let me convince myself waht I do is "nothing"?