#postchemo

Started back up at the gym after a few rough years.  Last year having been the roughest one, I was not active due to going through chemo, and that started packing on fat around my stomach, butt, legs and arms.  Picture on the left was on Feb.5, 2017.  The first day back at the gym.  Pic on the right was March 8, 2017.  Watching my diet, eating clean, dedicating myself to becoming stronger and healthier, and actually doing cardio and circuit training a bit has actually helped cut that fat a little at a time.

Hair progress from Nov 3rd to Dec 1st 🌿🍂❄ This will be my last one, since I just keep cutting it and so it's not really #postchemohairgrowth anymore 🤷 I'm definitely back to the length it was at pre-chemo because I am in desperate need of a trim. Unfortunately, that's not happening until the 21st of this month lmao #cancer #hodgkinslymphoma #postchemohair #postchemo #remission #me https://www.instagram.com/p/B5jAECkAyig/?igshid=v3to9c4vf248

I've been trying to post something for DAYS and have been thwarted by one thing or another. Well today was TOO GOOD to let the moments keep slipping away. The short of it from today was I had some divination from someone I highly respect and he showed me that I'm going to just keep getting better and better health-wise, strength-wise, bad-ass-wise. I really needed to hear this because my mind was starting to be taken over by the anxiety of uncertainty and having listened to some hard stories of stage 4 ladies who shuffled off this mortal coil. I honestly can't listen to those stories anymore. Not until I feel like I'm fully back on my feet and have the further certainty in knowing that cancer no longer dwells here (my next CT/PET Scan is 9/11). The day before yesterday I ready LOVED my outfit and needed to take a photo of it and share that (with you all). So there's that photo. I actually felt cute, sassy, creative and happy! Then, my "boob" fell out of my bra yesterday and it was actually hilarious. That's the other photo. Due to the absence of feeling on my chest, I have NO IDEA when my fake boobie shifts around or in this case, totally falls out! I live for that level of ridiculousness of being a human. I mean, that's some funny stuff. I get to wear a falsie until some future unknown date when I will carry on with reconstruction. I actually totally love the foob because it's so squishy and fun to squeeze and poke. When I was a kid I poked the eye of fish in the package and the grocery store and while that's totally gross, it was also oddly satisfying--much like poking the squishy boob I don daily. I'm excited to take the medicines I've been prescribed to help me feel better; one is promacta for the ITP (platelet problem) and the other will likely be tamoxifen in September after it's confirmed I'm still pre-menopausal. Though that'll have it's serious drawbacks, it's going to give me peace of mind (at least for awhile) that estrogen isn't contributing to a reoccurence of BC in my body. It does increase uterine cancer risk, but I'll deal with that after I've taken tamoxifen for a year or two. #feelingcutesomedays #relieved #postchemo #itgetsbetter https://www.instagram.com/p/B1sgSpYBmiv/?igshid=2a90sesyyedh

It is about 8 months after my diagnosis, 5 months after the short but intensive chemotherapy. And I have to admit that I lack patience sometimes. If I feel good I want to do so many things. I just want to be as active as before. But when I am too active I hit the fatigue wall. My body just says: calm down and rest. This was the case also this week. But I am sure it will get better. 

Cheers to finishing my final chemo 🍾 and cheers to finally not spending Friday at a hospital 🎉 life is lovely 💕 #thegoodlife #postchemo #love #life #goals #friendshipgoals #besties #berlin #goodvibes #positivevibes #positivity #strength #smile #babysteps #fuckcancer #healthylifestyle #cheers #weekend #weekendvibes #instagood #summer

Can’t describe what this ‘Cancer’ cover by Twenty One Pilots means to me... It captures the feelings inside so well, when you’re afraid of leaving your loved ones but you’re suffering too much to show them. Although the real hardest part of it all was feeling like losing myself, and now after all the fighting, trying to find myself again. But hey, sometimes you gotta bleed to know, that you’re alive and have a soul :) So syked I’m going to see them perform tonight!!