Wandering Mind

Ready for take off baby 🛫 (at Boston Logan International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrJEvaOBHKp/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1vel3i3iunl53

I am going home in 2 DAYS OMFG 🥰💯✨ It’s been nearly two months of jetsetting around, living out of suitcases, ordering take out, spending so many stressful hours in hospital waiting rooms and being apart from the people I love. It’ll feel so good to be back in my space where I can do all the things I love doing 🌈🎶 (at Dana-Farber Cancer Institute) https://www.instagram.com/p/BrDqEPll18O/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1d9x4cax27my1

This past year and a half has been the happiest and saddest time of my life. I wish things were easier and I was healthy but I am also so thankful for the things I’ve experienced and the people I get to share my life with. Right now things are harder than usual and I’m fighting a very persistent opponent. But looking back, no matter how terrible the bad times were, the good moments always shine much brighter and I can still say that the life I’m leading is breathtakingly beautiful 🌊 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bqgu2RKFWVW/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=18d7ay4n9ptoe

Planning my dance outfit for my next live set - the things I do to distract myself from chemotherapy side effects ✨💃🏼 (at Boston, Massachusetts) https://www.instagram.com/p/BqbYC9DBvdf/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=12fbhk0i6k9fh

This last ct scan was a hard hit. I saw the pictures and it broke my heart a little bit. But the hard part is over for now. I’ve spoken to my doctors and discussed a second trial for me. We have a plan! And the first part of that plan is letting me fly to Barbados with @andrenian to see my family and sooth my body for 10 days. The next step is to start the trial on November 5th and catch my aggressive mutated cells by surprise 💪🏻 To everyone who worries about me, I completely understand. I worry as well, but now it’s time to think about me only with complete confidence. Send the message out Into the universe “carla will be fine. This trial will work”. Thank you for your love and kind messages, the music and all the support I’ve been receiving ❤️ (And thank you @lukasqt for this dope shot of me in power-position 💪🏻🎶 how can I doubt my recovery when I see how far I’ve come?) (at Gibbs Bay) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpX34kvhXKo/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1gzkqqp9fftbi

Well, if there’s one thing you can say about my life is that it’s full of surprises. Last week I was on stage performing and feeling on top of the world and completely invincible. Yesterday the doctors showed me my scans and I saw the cancer in my lungs growing again. The trial I was on has run its course and is no longer working for me. To say I’m devastated doesn’t come close to what I’m actually feeling. I was feeling so good and so sure that my body was doing well and now I don’t know what to feel or trust anymore. Within all this confusion and uncertainty I do have hope and there are still options for me. I’ll be starting a second trial at Dana Farber Cancer Institute and we are going to try and outsmart this cunning mutation. It will be a few weeks until I can go home but I won’t be alone during this rough time. I guess looking back it’s good to remember that what goes up must come down and I’ve have a beautiful summer full of love and laughs and music and art. Now things are going to be difficult and I’m not going to feel great for most of the time. But it’s good to know that this cycle will also run its course and things will get better eventually 💔 (at Boston, Massachusetts) https://www.instagram.com/p/BpKHF8iBu5W/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=vhzb2a2fk8oi

Tomorrow I fly back to Boston for my chemotherapy infusion. But this time around I’m not at all upset or worried. I was home for two weeks, I prepared a live set, performed with my friends, went to a theme party, binge watched „better call Saul“ and don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything at all. Life is feeling very good right about now and I’m so excited to share all my experiences with you ✨ 📷 @lukasqt (at Wabe) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo9615dBfUO/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=11bqivxdllrzi

I got to share the stage with these 5 incredible ladies and their bands. I went to school with all of them and we are all actively pursuing our career in music. All completely different but all of them being very true to themselves. @emersonprimemusic fierce and funky galaxy-pop @alina_bach_musik poetic german storyteller @blended.official badass a capella showstoppers @felicemusic.berlin soulful singer songwriter featuring Mai lingh and her beautiful composition Aaaaand of course yours truly @beatsinbed and my „dope dark and dirty“ vibes Needless to say it was an amazing show and I got my dose of dancing, tears and drinks 🎶✨💯💋🔥 Thank you to all who came out to support your local artists. It means the world to us! (at Wabe) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo7eyFJhYBk/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=2vugsf536ts7

They said I had to drop out of school...and I graduated💪🏻 They told me Performing was not compatible with aggressive lung cancer- today I’m performing on stage again 🎶 They told me to keep my expectancies of life „realistic“ and i did. But in my reality things get better and life gets sweeter and I’ll be just fine 💙 (at Berlin - Kreuzberg) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo3jIRfh98o/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hdkfu6ow1wjz

Yesterday @evawestphal dropped •RAIN• on spotify ✨ Just in time for #nationalcomingoutday So I suggest to either hop on Eva’s insta or mine to find the link to her new single🎶💙 Produced by yours truly Mix/master by mvp @woerthstudios Now go and enjoy the mellow weather with this vibe we created that’ll make u wanna run out into the rain with your crush and get soaked 👌🏻 https://www.instagram.com/p/Bo1eW2lh178/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=pyn2miexuvbk

This Saturday come vibe out with me, @emersonprimemusic @blended.official @felicemusic.berlin and @alina_bach_musik 🎶🎶🎶 Doors open at 7 and music starts at 8pm @wabeberlin ✨ Tickets are 10€ with discount (bring your ID‘s) This little one-day-music festival is gonna be so much fun and I’ll be there all night ready to catch up with everyone ❤️ (at Berlin - Kreuzberg) https://www.instagram.com/p/BowKIL6BCok/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1351fdvdhuzdt

Been spending a lot of time at home, in bed, in and out of sleep. This time around the jetlag kinda messed with me harder than usual. I don’t like feeling useless and I don’t like the cold weather stressing out my lungs. I guess it’s good to remember that everyone feels tired when it gets colder and everyone feels knocked out after traveling. And of course it’s been a week and a half since my last chemo and it’s totally normal to still feel nauseous from time to time. This is just a friendly reminder to myself: chill out, hang out in bed in your ridiculous pj‘s and watch some Netflix. It’s ok not to be productive 100% of the time 👌🏻 (at Berlin, Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/BopJmSChNux/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=88qnawkxrgvg

Next week on the 13th I’ll be performing a mellow dance live set with @andrenian (not in pj‘s) @wabeberlin in Kreuzberg. So if you’re in town you should most definitely stop by and vibe out with us 💙The beats are silky smooth, the artists performing are all talented and very cool people and it’s always fun going out in Berlin- so there’s really no excuse for you not to come out ✨😍👏🏻💓👌🏻 (at Wabe) https://www.instagram.com/p/BomhUQbhD3q/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=l0jhga1d9rgc

Ahhh!! I’m finally going home ✈️ Berlin here I come- ready to see the homies, play a show, release some music, upload some vlogs and live 👏🏻my 👏🏻best👏🏻life🌈✨👑🔥💥⚡️ (at Boston Logan International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoXfYhrhv06/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=8a9vwl22gbb0

Hi I’m carla and Here’s a collage of inappropriate outfits I considered wearing for graduation 👋🏻 (at Urban Outfitters) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoNmEv1hkGC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=p24fxibw7blg

So I graduated yesterday and immediately thought I was a celebrity and an obscene amount of pictures were taken...so brace yourselves because I will be spamming your insta news feed starting NOW! (at Earls Kitchen + Bar, Prudential Center) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoM96vkBY-p/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=7fd0sqwsywjm