#post055

After Wednesday, I felt so awkward and I really didn't want to see or talk to you because I was so completely embarrassed. 

So on Thursday morning, the first of three bells rang and everyone began getting up and departing their tables. Then I saw you look my way and I looked down. I told my friend to hurry up packing and instead of taking my usual route out of the cafeteria I made a solid plan for an alternate. You started walking in my direction and I only wanted to walk faster and I really thought I managed to evade you - but then you called my name and I was obligated to turn around. 

Then you revealed your box of chocolates because you felt bad and you really wanted us to keep being friends because I was "super nice" and you kept telling me that you didn't want me to hate you. Adorable...really.

I didn't want the chocolates but I took them anyways. Then I spent the next few days avoiding you. 

You were so great and I was so not.

I really don't understand why I told you that I still hated you yesterday night and then I left. What's worse is I don't even know if what I said is true or not . I apologized this morning, and you said it was fine. It's never fine to be mean to someone, and especially not you because you have done nothing wrong and it was all me being stupid. You're just being too nice and I'm just being too great of an idiot. ugh, what's wrong with me.

I don't want you to be mad at me - so I guess the roles reversed now.

I'm really really sorry and I can't apologize enough. As usual.