#post trip

Well, I tripped shit yesterday and it was honestly one of the better trips I've ever had. I started soaring a good 35 minutes after dropping the tab, and when it had fully hit my visuals were insane, my thoughts were beautiful and refreshing. about 4 hours into the trip, this female that i associate myself with decides to text me and ask if she could come over. I said of course thinking that she would want to talk and have a good intellectual conversation but plot twist she ends up being all of my roommate and it just made my trip not as good as i wished for. The one upside of this trip was that i was able to speak to myself and ask myself what am i missing? Why am i getting upset or so easily angered by a situation that is obviously nothing. 

Im just in my brain thinking about how i can make myself a better person, how can i make myself more interesting to the female population. I seem to be rambling right now but i just wanted to let it out for some reason. After my trip was over i looked back at how i acted and i truly acted immaturely, why am i hung up on a girl that could care less about me? but its more then that, i realized that maybe this is all the karma that deserve for treating people the way that i treat them. 

The entire point of this ramble was to say that i just feel that if i am able to express love and gratitude to those who show it towards myself then why can't i express it back to them? I guess this trip made me realize that i have a lot of pent up emotionally distress that i need to get over and that i need to realize is not good for me to hold in. I just have to be able to not be such an asshole to people and to those around.