#positivecoping

Just about every day I am asked how I am coping with the COVID-19 pandemic, and my response is the same: I am absolutely fine. I am well prepared and educated and things like this do not cause me any panic or anxiety. And for some reason the fact that I am calm causes folks more anxiety. Like it legit makes them either mad that I am actually fine or that anxious that I am surprisingly calm in the midst of the storm.

There are many reasons that I can exude calmness, and actually be calm and relaxed, during this period of time. My number one reason is my faith in Jesus Christ and my devout relationship with Christ. I pray, write in my prayer journal and have a podcast I listen to that allows me remain connected to my faith, as well as be reminded that as long as I remain faithful to God, I am protected.

The other reasons are not as obvious. I studied community health in undergrad and worked in public health after college, and then pursued a Master’s in human services and counseling, and have been working in that field the past 8 years, so I have some working knowledge of diseases and how to protect myself from their transmission and navigate through these times. Next, I was a medic for years, and had to take courses in emergency management and mass casualty incidents, so preparedness is something I have always kept in the back of my mind at all times. Every year at the beginning of cold and flu season, I always make sure I have disinfectants and wipes and things needed to keep my home clean and free from germs. Because I am immune- compromised and in the super high risk category during the cold and flu season, I make sure that I was hands and my face often, as well as take my shoes and outwear off at the door and never sit with my street clothes on my couch. This has helped me to keep my risk of infection down. Of course this is no exception with the COVID-19 virus. I also tend not to go out as much anyway during this season, so with that being said, having to isolate is not anything new. Lastly, I focus on myself and that is it. I have come to learn that I can only control myself and my actions, not what the rest of the world. That has freed up much of my time to invest in things that matter to me.

This epidemic has taken me back to when I left home to go to college. A little backstory of me. I have been a pretty independent being. Growing up, I engaged in much imaginary play because my siblings did not want to play with me.  My mother was also quite hands off with me and often left me to do for myself, which I found to be quite odd.  Once I was old enough to go play outside, I did so and played with my friends often. I knew my boundaries and wasn’t hovered over by my parents. As I got older, I learned the value in making my own choices and decisions and they have shaped me to be the woman I am today.  My mom was more like a partner in some instances versus a parent, and I wondered why that was. I was SUPER independent and she and my father continued to let me make my own choices, and take on responsibilities and experience things and learn certain lessons on my own and I didn’t understand until I got married and divorced. My mom told me that she knew she never had to worry about me from the moment I was born, she knew I would be okay. That is why she let me go and do my thing and come to her as I needed for guidance. This prepared me for so many things in, including being prepared for life and handling a crisis.

But I digress. Back to going off to college. The day my parents dropped me off was quite chaotic. We had just left a family reunion and were rushing to get me all packed up and moved in. I remember we stopped at the grocery store so that I could have some food in my dorm room…. I wanted to be prepared for whatever may have happened. We moved me in and I got settled and well, my new life as a college freshman began. My course syllabi were posted and I had my first panic attack ever (I have only ever had 2 in my whole life, both in college, both related to academics….haven’t had any since I graduated). I felt beyond overwhelmed and unprepared to even be a student at such a well-known university and even more, I felt like a failure before I began. I didn’t feel like the young woman my mother told me I was or shaped me to be. Was I just a facade?  I was lucky to have had older friends I could call and talk to, who not only calmed me down helped me to prepare to navigate through 4 years of college life and all the stress that come with it, but had lived it and knew what exactly I was going through and I felt. It was from that moment that I knew there was hope, I was going to be okay.  I could be prepared and make it through my 4 years in college and succeed in life. And because of my experiences, I am so much more prepared to navigate through these rough times we are currently navigating.

So if you are facing anxiety, depression or nervousness about COVID-19 or any situation in life, it is okay! It is okay to not be okay. However, there are resources out there and if you have someone who talk to, reach out to them! If you have that emotional tool box, start using those tools and work through….write in a journal, take walks, listen to music, bake or cook something you love, knit or crochet, sew masks for healthcare workers, volunteer to help someone who cannot go out and get groceries or their medications or other supplies, work on a project you have been putting off, draw or paint, start a hobby or any other positive thing you can find. There are so many things to keep your mind engaged and of the daily events happening. Remember, you can only plan and control the things that affect you, not the entire world!