#poptics

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AKA the one where Finstock recruits Scott to be the entire lacrosse team’s chaperone at a school sponsored bonfire rager. Where, btws, both Malia and Liam are trying their damnedest to drown their emotional demons (Malia: being a secret Hale; Liam: being haunted by Berserkers) in an alcoholic/danceoholic stupor, only to learn that SUCKS FOR YOU, SUPERNATURALS, you can’t get drunk!

But: this episode was at the tail end of the deadpool storyline, and of course the episode’s twist turned out to be that the bonfire/rave was a supernatural trap, one assassin’s attempt to take out all the nearby deadpool names in one fell, house music-induced swoop. Praphrasing Alexis’ FYA recap for this episode: you are NEVER wrong to mistrust house music (or the douchey DJs spinning it).

Major props to Scott for figuring out that it was the woofers weakening them all; major, major props to Mason for figuring out that Scott figured that out and taking the DJ out all on his own—especially since at that point, he still had zero idea about any of the supernatural shenanigans he had accidentally become mired in.

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NUMBER SIX - 4x04 The Benefactor

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Dance party is a bit of a stretch, but we’ll allow it for this one, mostly because they took a typical teen movie trope and turned it on it’s head (this is TEEN WOLF we’re talking about). The empty lake house, primed for an all-weekend rager? The perfect place for a newly-human werecoyote to safely practice control during the full moon! The vixen sent off to woo the newly-werewolfed freshman into trusting the dummies who bit/kidnapped/duct taped him? Falls on her face mid-slow mo! The empty lake house, primed for the full moon transformation now of TWO were-babies? Accidentally (via dummy Liam’s text to the whole damn school) turns into a weekend rager! The hot freshman couple ordering kegs for the whole party? LOL they’re psychotic assassins using the party (obvi) as a cover for murder, y’all.

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The dancing that does happen is basically limited to Scott and Kira slow-dancing at the boathouse while a knocked-out baby-werewolf Liam is chained to a pole, notably NOT to any music audible to us/Kira (not that she lets that stop her from trying to seduce her way past his full moon defenses). But there are more important things happening under cover of this Beacon Hills dance party, like our beautiful badass banshee discovering an all-white, soundproof room in which creepy faces pressing through the skin of the wall lead her to decode the cipher key for the “math notes” she wrote for Malia (ALLISON. THE KEYWORD IS ALLISON. *SOBS*). Which in turn decodes the first third of a deadpool with all of Beacon Hills supernaturals on the list. Welcome to the leger de main plot of season 4, folks.

NUMBER FIVE - 2x06: Frenemy

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Another proof of the evils of house music, which leaves an entire dance floor of hot gay men paralyzed on the ground. OKAY so maybe that was Kanima!Jackson’s doing, racing away from Scott and Stiles as they set chase, but still: don’t trust the beat.

Anyway, this club gave us that gem of an adorable dummy Scott reaction above, as well as Scott being genuinely flattered at the drink a flirty gay man sends his way, and Danny being cool with paralysis as long as it took down his dumb ex, too. Plus, Sheriff Stilinski throwing all the shade at his son’s utterly unfabulous dress sense.

NUMBER FOUR - 1x11: Formality

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Before Melissa ever watched Teen Wolf, this episode was one of the most frequently gif-fed episodes that appeared on her dash. There’s a reason for that—it’s got excellent scenes (Meissa: and also, apparently, I follow a ton of #Stydia shippers), and is packed with just a ton of plot.

However, it is the dance-centric parts of the episode that really stand out. You’ve got:

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1. Allison and Lydia being BFFs and shopping at Macy’s in the best SCENE of product placement ever on television. There they run into a terrifyingly creepy Peter Hale, which is significant for this discussion mostly because Melissa just loves Peter Hale, okay? (NB: I know he’s terrible. I still love him so so so much. Why do you know what color works with teenage girl’s SKIN TONE? WHY ARE YOU SO CREEPY? WHY DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH? Peter Hale, I wish I could quit you!)

2. The badass genius Lydia Martin we know and love FINALLY starting to let herself be seen, in no small part as a direct reaction against Grade A D-bag Jackson dumping and insulting her. 

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Inside the dance itself, when Stiles attempts flattery of her intellect as a tactic to get her to dance, she responds by correcting him: it’s the Fields Medal that is awarded to mathematics genius, not the Nobel. And then, of course, they dance. And Stydia shippers rejoice.

3. Scott FINALLY telling Allison, in so many words, that he loves her (following the stellar moment when Melissa “Mom-of-the-Year” McCall WHACKS HIM IN THE SKULL when he says Allison already knows how he feels about her, so why would he have to say it?? Heart eyes forever.)

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4. And finally, Coach trying to throw Scott out of the dance, and Scott deflecting by pulling Danny onto the dance floor, snuggling him closer when Coach looks like he might step in to question what is happening. The ease with which Teen Wolf breaks all sorts of barriers around sexuality warms our hearts (see again: Scott’s legit glee in 2x06 when another dude buys him a drink). A++ Jeff Davis.

NUMBER TWO (Alexis)/THREE (Melissa) - 4x01 The Dark Moon

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This dance party literally kicks off an entire season! It establishes the new order of the wolfpack, now skewing strongly female as Kira and Malia jointly step into Allison’s empty place by Scott’s side (and their portrayers, Arden Cho and Shelley Hennig simultaneously step into the title sequence as show leads).

Following the grim conclusion of season 4, this opener had to be fun and strong and able to stand on its own, and between the gold/blue/red glows of Kira, Malia and Scott’s eyes and Lydia and Stiles invoke their names during their ransom meeting with the Calaverases, and the doofy-to-sexy-to-deadly dancing between Kira and Malia as they first work to blend in, then work to fight their way out of the club crowd, it does the job admirably. 

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Lydia and Stiles MAY consider the scheme “their worst plan ever” (and, considering the electric torture Kira is forced to inflict on Scott, they aren’t wrong), but in the end the episode does solidify the new shape of the wolfpack, and also gives us a glimpse of the comic relief Malia becomes in the wake of Isaac Lahey moving to Paris. And all through the power of clubbing!

NUMBER TWO (Melissa)/THREE (Alexis) - 2x09: Party Guessed

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Lydia Martin-focused episodes are our favorite episodes. “Party Guessed” also gives us the best birthday gif. Plus we (Melissa) get Tom Riddle!Peter Hale and a gratuitous Lydia shower scene, and more allusions to Lydia being something more than human, and it’s just everything Melissa ever wanted when she first started watching the show. (Although, rewatching it is terrifying and baby girl deserves so much more than being stalked by Peter Hale à la Edward Cullen and being plagued by nightmares and hallucinations). There’s also a ton of more Macy’s references, to Alexis’ unending product placement delight!

As for the party itself ranking so high on the list, it isn’t the dancing that puts it here so much as the group hallucinations brought on by the flowers Lydia has drugged the punch with, which our heroes suffer WHILE everyone else is dancing. 

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Also happening while everyone is dancing/hallucinating? Birthday girl Lydia leaving her party with a handful of shimmery purple powdered wolfsbane which she uses to knock out and kidnap Derek in order to complete the final step of a half-season-long Peter Hale revival ceremony—which of course concludes with a signature Peter Hale smirk (I WISH I COULD QUIT YOU, love, Melissa). Oh, Beacon Hills parties, you’ve done it again!

Plus: one of the first great Lydia Martin banshee screams, and we’re suckers for her banshee screams.

NUMBER ONE - 3x16: Illuminated

We are both suckers for any episodes whose themes inspire a change in the title sequence music, so the rave opening for "Illuminated" already put us at a bias for this vote. But, as Stefon would put it, this rave party has EVERYTHING:

1. Halloween!

2. Derek carrying around candy for children in his car on Halloween!

3. Power Outages!

4. Danny!

5. Blacklights!

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6. Glowing body paint!

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7. EVERYONE hooking up EXCEPT Lydia!

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8. Lydia analyzing everyone’s hookups in a single word!

9. On-screen proof of friendship after your first True Love!

10. Stiles ALMOST admitting he also like boys!

11. The Oni!

12. Derek ruining everyone’s fun!

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And the raving teens of Beacon Hills once again escaped back into their normal lives, while the aftermath of the party they abandoned hosts incredible violence.