*pushes Ford at you like he's a meat ball and I'm one of the dogs from Lady and the tramp* (romantic candidate)
"Boy howdy, I sure do have a hankerin' for some spaghetti and meatballs right about now. Anyway, would ya believe I had the biggest crush on Stanford when I was in college? It was terribibble!" He slapped a hand to his forehead. "I was havin' one of them there identity crises, wonderin' what my folks would think, heck - wonderin' if I might even get kicked out of college and who knows what else. I was a right nervous Nelly to begin with, and the moment I realized I'd fallen in love with my best friend made it a hundred times worse. I remember it like it was yesterday-" Pause. More pause. "Wait. No, I don't. Welp, that's a relief. I think... Kinda remember that I might have asked him to become lifelong business partners with me after I got my bachelor's degree which back in those days was kind of like gettin' married, but he really wanted to go to graduate school and wanted to stay on-campus cause it was more convenient. I don't rightly know what that man wanted 12 Ph.D's for, but I wasn't about to get in the way of his dreams."
"Anyway, I thought I'd done gotten over it when I fell in love with and married my wife - Heck, I DO remember thinkin' she was much prettier in her wedding dress than Stanford was in a suit - even if he did look mighty fine in it. I went to all of his gradumutations like a supportive best friend ought and didn't have a lick of complicated feelings whatsoever. And then, one day, he called me up for that accursed project of his-"
"Bit ashamed to admit that it kinda all came rushin' back. I dunno if it was just the close proximity or what. But honest, I wasn't considerin' anything like an affair, and at some point, it became less "I'm still in love with my best friend" and more "I gotta do everything I can to salvage our broken friendship." A part of me thinks maybe I should've quit sooner... But aw, heck, there ain't no point dwellin' on the past."
"These days, I'm single and willing to mingle, and Ford and I have picked up where we left off. Friends again - like we ain't never had a problem. It's been good. And ya can bet I've noticed he's only gotten finer with age. I ain't even sure how that's possible. I ain't gonna lie, he does make my tummy all a-flutter with them there butterflies just like he used to when I was in college. But I ain't no silver fox like him. I'm more like one of them there sickly possums you scare away from your trash. And I'm pretty sure he ain't interested in me. He wasn't in college. Why would he be now?"
