#poobrain

Here’s an incredible piece of home decor I saw at ikea

That’s pretty much al I got right now

Like if you had a car that worked pretty okay at times but now when you put the keys in the ignition and start the car it would run for a couple minutes and then die. So you would put the keys in the ignition and start it again but it would just keep dying after a few minutes. And as time goes on it happens more and more.

So you get a mechanic to look at it and they go, “Oh, well it looks fine to me. Just make sure to keep up with the maintenance and you’ll be good.”

And you go, “No, there’s something obviously wrong bc I can only use it sometimes”

“And they go well I didn’t find anything wrong.”

So you go okay, and get a second opinion and they go, “Oh, it’s just a coolant issue. I can take care of that.” And they take care of the coolant or whatever and you think it’s over but the car is still shitty and won’t work. So you go to a third mechanic and they go, “Oh it’s your battery.” And they replace it. And when you start your car the issue is still there. So you go to a fourth and fifth and sixth mechanic and they all say it’s different issues and charge you a bunch of money to “fix” it but the problem is still there. So you go wow this sucks and plan to put the car in a dump but your family members go, “Oh, that car is so special. It’s unique. Don’t get rid of it you would hurt our feelings we love having it around.” And you’re like that’s cool and all but it’s causing me nothing but grief bc I can’t function in my day to day life so I’m gonna get rid of it. And they’re like, “Nooooo, don’t that’s so selfish!” (bc it’s really selfish to not want to suffer and act on what you think would be best for you and it’s definitely not selfish to force someone to make decisions on what benefits them and not you. Anyways) So you go okay I’ll sell or trade it in but you can’t. So you buy a bike bc you can’t afford to buy another car or a moped or some other alternative, but you live in the middle of nowhere so you’re exerting so much energy trying to go to places that are far af and also can’t go out all the time bc you need to conserve your energy to be a functioning adult and also if there’s bad weather you can’t leave on your stupid bike so you’re stuck in another situation where you can’t do anything to the extent you want to bc your stupid car doesn’t work properly and your bike solution works only slightly better than your car but causes you more fatigue.

TLDR:

I hate my brain it doesn’t work and the older I get the harder it is to function. I go from professional to professional to get help and there’s either no problem or a problem that can be fixed with xyz but xyz ends up making me waste time and money bc the problem is never actually dealt with it’s just ignored. And my alternative solution to suppress and mask makes me physically and mentally exhausted and I still can’t operate as an adult. At this point in life I can only either be a cryptid living in the forest eating rocks or commit soup of side bc every solution I try ends up wasting my time or causing me more grief and I’m tired.

b l e r p

My last few WIP pics have been poobrains but--that's cause 4 out of my last five orders have been them, hurr!