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so i spent the last two years writing a critical role campaign one fanfic.

title: if i went and hurt my body (would you love me the same)

author: ghostlyGremlin

fandom: critical role (campaign one)

pairings: multiship, vax'ildan vessar/shaun gilmore, vax'ildan vessar/vox machina, vax'ildan vessar & vox machina

category: m/m, m/f, multi, gen, f/f (mentioned)

rating: teen & up

summary:

Vax'ildan Vessar hides his soul marks from the world for a reason.

He is broken. He must be.

No one should have that many marks.

~~~

A soulmark AU where soulmates can be romantic or platonic, and you can have more than one. Vax is a bi disaster who doesn't quite grasp the fact that he can love as much as he does and its not a crime.

word count: 9,592

warnings: mild language, sexual innuendo, allusions to sex/sexual activities, use of alcohol, implied/referenced homophobia (past), canon typical violence, serious injuries, mild/hurt comfort, emotional hurt/comfort, self-esteem issues, implied/referenced alcohol abuse/alcoholism (light), discussions of religion (in the context of dnd gods)

additional tags: discussion of polyamory, polyamorous character(s), bisexual character(s), transgender female character, trans vex'ahlia, soulmate-identifying marks, platonic soulmates, romantic soulmates

Read it here!

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

more misc info and my own commentary below the break <3

its called "if i went and hurt my body (would you love me the same)" on ao3 and i literally spent exactly two years writing it!

its a Soulmark AU focused on Vax'ildan and his relationships to his Marks and the people he loves.

there are allusions to vax's relationships with all of vox machina, most of which can be interpreted as romantic or platonic according to preference, except for three.

vax and vex have each other's Marks, but their relationship is NOT romantic.

vax has gilmore's Mark, and has explicitly romantic feelings towards him.

vax does NOT have keyleth's Mark, but has explicitly romantic feelings towards her.

this fic is meant to be an exploration on (what i see as) vax'ildan's polyamory and his own self-esteem, specifically in relation to being polyamorous. im poly myself, and i related very deeply to vax's struggles with his feelings for gilmore and keyleth when i watched c1. and even though its been years since i last rewatched c1, i wanted to write something about this character i had fallen in love with.

over the past two years, this fic has received so much genuine support, attention, and love from the critrole community and i couldnt be happier. ive been a part of the cr community for around 2.5/3 years, and it is one of the kindest most loving fandoms ive ever been a part of. writing this fic was a hell of a journey, and every single person who commented, left a kudos, or even just read it means the world to me.

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