I don't want to seem rude or anything but could you explain how polyamorous relationships work? I don't think they're bad or wrong or anything, I'm just a lil confused by them. I tried looking it up on google but google never makes anything seem simple or easy to understand and I, sorry again if this upsets you in any way!
Oh goodness, this doesn’t upset me at all dearling! Curiosity isn’t rude in this case, it’s natural and Google, while a wonderous plethora of information, can some times be a bit vague when it comes to locating exact and personal details.
I was talking to another who was unfamiliar with the concept not too long ago, so let me see if I can properly articulate this once more using myself as a singular.
I romantically love my husband. Obviously, I mean I married him after all~
However I know that I can romantically love more than one person. At first I felt a strong guilt about this, however after some research I learned this wasn’t something to necessarily feel guilt over as long as my husband and I had strong communication as well as trust in one another. (In polyamory everyone is aware and in agreement. If your partner/s doesn’t know or agree to you having another partner, it isn’t polyamory- it’s cheating.)
A story might help explain our working though.
About a half a year ago I feel for a girl named Misti. As soon as these feelings surfaced I pulled my husband aside and we talked about it, discussing how I felt and how I wanted to progress. He was a little apprehensive at first, but once I explained that my feelings for her did not lessen my feelings for him he encouraged me to ask her out (and even teased me like the goober he is).
I would see her on the weekends and we started out as dedicated play partners at a local S&M club. I always told Phocks where I was going and let him know when I got there and when I left. When I got home we would sit and cuddle up while I told him the details of the weekend. Unfortunately things with Misti didn’t quite work about because of distance issues (she lives over an hour away and lost her job, so travelling became strained) but all through our relationship my husband was aware and supportive of what was going on.
Now every poly-relationship works differently, just like in a monogamous relationship there are personal ‘rules’ that the couples apply to it. I won’t go into detail in public but my husband and I have ours, and I’m sure how we balance our dynamic is different from how our poly friends handle theirs. Poly relationships aren’t for everyone; they require a lot of trust in your partner and open communication, as well as an understanding that jealousy DOES still happen and not everything will always be roses and unicorns.
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