#poly comfort

Beel was the first one to really take an interest in you. A genuine interest. You fell in love hard and fast. Perhaps it was the guilt over not being able to reveal what you knew about Belphegor’s situation, but you didn’t feel comfortable making your feelings for him known. It just seemed like something that would burden him, and you really didn’t want to risk losing the one friend you felt the most safe with while you were all alone in this new realm.

As your year progressed, the situation with Belphegor was finally resolved. But still, you hesitated to say anything. You knew how close he was to Belphie, and you convinced yourself that it would be best if you didn’t do anything that would come between them. It was obvious even to your own heart that you were just making excuses for yourself, too scared to take a step forward.

It was then you started growing closer to Lucifer. Your initial relationship with him had been...strained...to say the least. But after he realized the lengths you were willing to go to in order to help his brothers, he couldn’t help but fall in love with you. You had an inner strength that he honestly admired, though he would probably never admit that to you. And he enjoyed your company immensely, even if it was just having you nearby while he worked. Everything just seemed easier with you around, even Mammon’s shenanigans didn’t stress him out quite like they used to anymore. And you enjoyed his company as well - he was a source of stability for you in the chaos of the House of Lamentation. You would often take refuge in his study with him to recharge after a day of playing referee for the other overgrown children you had as housemates.

You had also managed to catch Satan’s eye, particularly after the whole dating sim fiasco with Levi. He liked the fact that you saw him as an individual - you never compared him to Lucifer, nor did you ever try to force the issue about them getting along. You just let Satan be...Satan. And he loved spending time with you reading together. It was like the two of you had your own private book club; he was always ready with a book recommendation for you.

It was Satan that had actually approached you first about the possibility of being in a relationship. You were surprised to hear that he had had such a strong interest in you, since he was always so reserved most of the time. Your initial reaction was of course to want to say yes, but the fact that Beel, and Lucifer especially, still held pieces of your heart made you feel incredibly guilty. You didn’t even have to ask to know that Lucifer was the absolute last person he’d ever be ok with sharing your affections with, even if you could get him to consider a polyamorous relationship.

So, you instead asked Satan for time. And he agreed to give you some space to think things over. You knew it was unfair to him to expect him to wait...but you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him “no”. You didn’t want to tell him “no”, after all. It was just the only option you felt was available to you.

Hoping to avoid Satan, and delay the inevitable, you started spending more time with Barbatos at the Demon Lord’s Castle. He taught you all about Devildom teas, and showed you how to bake some of Diavolo’s favorite treats. And Diavolo was more than happy to sample everything you tried your hand at preparing.

At some point, you had just started dropping by even when Barbatos was busy, just to chat with Diavolo and he was always glad to see you. He’d ask you about your life in the human realm, and you’d ask him about life in the Devildom. You probably learned more about Devildom history and lore from these conversations than you ever did in class at RAD; and you eagerly soaked it all up, hanging on Diavolo’s every word, absolutely enchanted with his storytelling ability and his life experiences that spanned several millennia.

Unlike with Beel, or even Lucifer, you didn’t realize when you had started falling for Diavolo, or Dia as he asked you to call him now. One day you had just tried to stop by, only to learn that he was still stuck at RAD, working with Lucifer. And you were absolutely devastated. It shocked you honestly at just how upset you had gotten over the loss of one simple visit. But as soon as you felt that familiar ache in your heart you knew exactly what was going on.

It was the same thing that you had been trying to avoid dealing with with Lucifer and his brothers. And you had somehow managed to get tangled up in again. Only this time things were far more complicated than family relationships between brothers. There was just no way you’d be allowed to enter into a relationship with Lord Diavolo, crown prince of the Devildom. That is if he was even interested in you in that way, which you highly doubted. Why would he be? You were just a simple human. You didn’t have any great experience or insight to offer, your education wasn’t even that exemplary. There was nothing about you that you felt entitled you to ever expect to be more than just friends with the Prince, and you were lucky he even humored your attempts at friendship.

You weren’t sure how, but you did manage to make it home that afternoon and crawled into bed. The tears just started on their own, and you were powerless to stop them. You had fought them off for far too long at this point, your body simply decided it had enough repressing those emotions and they all came pouring out. How much longer would you be able to endure this? You honestly didn’t think there was much more your heart could take, and you had no one to blame but yourself.

————

When Beel dropped by to remind you of dinner, you pretended to sleep and choked back your sobs until he went away. When Lucifer stopped by to check on you, you told him you were busy with schoolwork. And when Satan asked if you would like to come over to his room to read, you said you weren’t feeling well.

You thought you had managed to throw everyone off the scent. But when Diavolo popped in to apologize for not being there when you had tried to visit him earlier, everything quickly started to unravel.

You opened your bedroom door, completely shocked to see Dia and Lucifer on the other side. He had never come by before just to see you. Maybe a few times to check on Lucifer, but he usually would send Barbatos to run any important errands or to issue any invitations. Seeing him before you now, you immediately became aware of how awful you must have looked. Your eyes still red, your hair a mess, your uniform all disheveled since you hadn’t bothered to change when you got home.

As you stood there, opening and closing your mouth, struggling to string together a single coherent thought, the unthinkable happened - Beel walked by on his way to the kitchen, Satan not far behind him, and they both turned to look your way as they walked past your door. Your eyes flicked from Beel to Satan to Lucifer to Dia and you instinctively tried to slam your door shut to escape, but Lucifer caught it before you could.

“Is there something the matter?” he asked.

And of course, once again, your body decided it had just had enough of containing your repressed emotions and let your tears flow freely. This was it, you thought. You were going to be forced to face what you had been trying to avoid and that would just be the end of it all. Since you had refused to make a choice on your own, your choice was about to be made for you and you were going to end up with absolutely nothing as a result.

—————

It took awhile for you to calm down. Beel was sitting next to you on the edge of your bed with his arm wrapped protectively around your shoulders. Satan was standing nearby, holding a glass of water for you. You thanked him quietly for his thoughtfulness, and slowly sipped the chilled water, trying to buy yourself some time before you would start being forced to answer questions. And Lucifer and Dia were sitting across from you in two plush, wingback chairs that they had dragged away from the wall.

Everyone silently waiting for you.

“I’m...sorry…” you finally mumbled out. Beel gave you a reassuring squeeze, and Satan sat down beside you, taking your free hand. What you wouldn’t have given to be able to freeze time and just continue living in that perfect little moment surrounded by your favorite demons. But this was reality. And it was about time you faced that.

“It’s ok, but what are you apologizing for?” Satan asked.

“I umm…” your lip started trembling and you took a deep breath to try to calm yourself. There wasn’t any way to run from this, not this time.

“Take your time,” Beel reassured you, rubbing your arm.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you guys, especially you Satan. I know that wasn’t fair.” You felt him tense up beside you, no doubt expecting the reason for your avoidance to have been due to the fact you were planning on rejecting him. But he didn’t let go of your hand either, which only made you feel more guilty.

“It’s just...I can’t...I can’t choose…” you started to fidget nervously in your seat.

Lucifer seemed to have caught on quicker than the rest, “You mean to say you have feelings for more than one of us?” You meekly nodded, keeping your head down and your eyes glued to the floor. You had absolutely no desire to see the expressions on everyone’s faces as they exchanged looks with one another.

By this point Dia was getting a bit uncomfortable. This didn’t seem like the sort of conversation he should be part of - it was between Lucifer and his brothers after all. Even though he treasured you greatly, he had never made those feelings known to you nor had you ever expressed more than friendly interest in him, so it didn’t even occur to him that he might also be involved.

“I think I’ll go ahead and head out so…”

“No..!” you called out, looking Dia right in the eye, desperate for him to stay. You were surprised at your own reaction, but you couldn’t let him leave without knowing how you felt. The only thing that would hurt worse than him knowing your feelings and rejecting you, was if he thought you didn’t care for him at all and preferred someone else to him. And you couldn’t let that happen. You at least wanted a chance to keep him as your friend.

“I...ummm…you’re part of...this…” you mumbled out as your eyes fell to the ground again.

Diavolo was caught completely off guard with your confession, a deep blush spreading across his cheeks. As was Lucifer, who for the most part had been unaware that you had been spending enough time with the Prince to have any sort of relationship.

The silence that followed was killing you. It felt so oppressive. All you could do was wait for someone else to decide to speak. You couldn’t understand why Beel was still holding you so gently, or why Satan hadn’t moved from his spot next to you, your hand still wrapped in his. It was only a matter of time, you thought, before they’d all leave one by one and you’d find yourself alone. Part of you wanted them to hurry up and go so you could wallow in your own self pity, because the other part of you wanted them all to stay and tell you how much they all loved you, and you knew that was never going to happen.

“Can I speak with them? Alone?”

“Lord Diavolo…” Lucifer had started to object, but quickly stopped himself. He could use this time to talk to Satan and Beel, and it seemed they had a lot to talk about, “Alright, we will be in my study. Let us know when you’re finished.”

Satan, who had been staring at you this whole time, glared at Lucifer for assuming he’d just go along with his suggestion. But even he could see the tender look in his eyes as he gazed at you. There was no doubt Lucifer cared for you immensely, and seeing as this was for your benefit, Satan decided to comply, giving your hand one final squeeze before making his way out of your room.

Beel was having a more difficult time letting you go. He could practically feel how upset you were, and didn’t want to leave you alone. But after looking at Lucifer and Lord Diavolo, he finally accepted that it would be alright to leave you be for just a few moments. So, giving you one last hug and a kiss to the top of your head, he followed after Satan, with Lucifer not far behind.

Now alone with you, Dia dragged his chair closer to your bed so that he was sitting right in front of you, knees nearly touching. He took the now empty glass from you and set it down on the bedside table before taking both of your hands in his own.

“This has been bothering you for some time, hasn’t it?”

“...yeah…”

“Is this why you started spending so much time at the castle?”

“Sorta. I asked Barbatos to help me learn more about Devildom baking so I could avoid everyone else,” you gave a self deprecating laugh, “But then I started spending time with you….and...well then that started to be the reason I came…”

“So you really enjoyed our time together?”

“Of course!” you replied, raising your head to meet Diavolo’s gaze. He was much closer than you were expecting, and you flushed in embarrassment. He chuckled at your reaction. You were just so cute when you got flustered, he had a hard time resisting the urge to tease you, but he’d have to save that for later.

“Then why were you so upset?”

“Because...I...realized it didn’t matter.”

“Didn’t matter? Why would you think that?”

“Because...I’m...I'm just me. A simple human. And you’re you. And I should just be happy you even put up with me or talk to me at all. And even if I told you how I felt, it wouldn’t change how I feel about them and it just didn’t seem fair to have to choose, not after Satan already confessed to me. And I know Lucifer hasn’t said anything yet, but I can tell the way he looks at me. And there is no way Satan would ever be ok with me having any sort of relationship with Lucifer. And Beel is like my best friend and I’m sure if I say anything it would just upset Belphie and I don’t want to hurt him or make Beel think he has to choose…”

You snapped your mouth shut, realizing what you had just done. You had just unloaded everything, all the secrets and worries that had plagued your heart for the past several months, you had shared it all. To say you were mortified right now would be an understatement. You truly wished the ground would just swallow you up. You’d wish for death if you thought it would make a difference, but with your luck you’d just end up right back in the Devildom.

“So what I’m hearing is you’re too busy worrying about how everyone else feels to worry about yourself?”

You nodded your head, averting your eyes.

“What do you want then?”

“...it’s selfish…”

“Then be selfish. We’re demons after all.”

“Wha…?” you looked up at Dia again and he was gazing at you softly, a small smile on his lips as he encouraged you. Was it really ok for you to just ask for that ? Would they really not hate you if you did? It didn’t seem possible for you to get everything you’d want, how could you be that lucky? Surely if you said anything, then you’d lose everything, right?

At least that’s what your human conscience was telling you.

But here sat Lord Diavolo, future king of the Devildom, telling you that it was ok to ask for whatever you wanted, in a way that suggested you just might be granted it. And you wanted so badly to believe that that would be true.

“Go on, love, tell me what you want to do.”

————

Lucifer took a seat at his desk, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms in front of himself. Finding out that you had a close relationship with Diavolo had come as a huge surprise. He had suspected that Satan had taken a liking to you, and he wasn’t at all surprised to discover that Beel was fond of you as well. But Diavolo? He wasn’t sure what to make of that.

“I assume you wanted to talk to us. So what is it?” asked Satan. He was agitated. He didn’t like the idea of leaving you alone with Lord Diavolo, especially not after it seemed that you may actually reciprocate his own feelings. But since, it appeared, he wasn’t the only one in your heart, he had to put your best interest first. And in this case that included letting you speak with Lord Diavolo while he discussed things with his brothers.

“Obviously.”

“Well?”

“First, I want to hear what your thoughts are on this matter. It’s clear that Satan has feelings for them, but what about you Beel? You’ve been quiet this whole time.”

Satan and Lucifer both turned to look at Beel who was seated in one of the large chairs near the fireplace. He raised his head to look at his brothers, before sighing and sitting back in his seat. He knew how much they cared for you. He had even started to realize when Lord Diavolo had begun to take an interest in you as even his casual interactions became more friendly. And he had decided that he was going to keep his own feelings to himself, not wanting to interfere in his brothers’ happiness. Never once had it occurred to him that he may have been causing you to suffer as a result.

“I love them,” he replied, a soft blush spreading across his cheeks. Of course he loved you. How could he not? You were just so bright in his eyes, and you brought so much hope with you. When you had told him that you wanted to help Lucifer and Belphie makeup when you had first arrived, he didn’t doubt you for a second. Even though he barely knew you at the time, he just had this feeling you’d make it happen. And the closer the two of you grew, the more deeply he trusted you, the stronger his love for you became, the more he wanted to protect you and your happiness.

“Then I suppose that makes three of us,” Lucifer said, clearing his throat.

“So? What are you suggesting we do?” asked Satan.

“That depends on them, of course. But it seems the primary reason for their struggle is because they feel unable to choose between us.”

“I already confessed directly, have you?” Satan asked, staring Lucifer down.

“I have not, and I don’t believe Beel has either,” Beel shook his head in agreement, “I think that’s irrelevant though based on the conversation we just had in their bedroom.”

Satan scoffed, walking to the other end of the room to put some distance between himself and Lucifer. Of course his brother was right. It didn’t really matter who said what first, or even who you fell in love with first. All that mattered was what you wanted. And right now, he wasn’t sure what you wanted at all.

He had to admit it did sting a little when he realized you weren’t interested in him alone. Particularly since Lucifer was one of the other parties involved. The idea of being in any sort of romantic relationship which also involved Lucifer just made his skin crawl. But despite that, the idea of losing you entirely was even more painful.

“I believe we need to decide what we would like to do if they express an interest in maintaining a relationship with all three...four...of us. Would either of you have any objections to that?”

Beel immediately shook his head. He didn’t have any issues with a polyamorous relationship, not if that’s what you wanted. He just wanted to see you happy, and he knew it would make him feel better if you were with someone else who loved you just as much as he did when he couldn’t be there. The only other concern that crossed his mind was how Belphie would react, but he knew that Belphie adored you too in his own way, and you enjoyed his company as well. So there really wasn’t any reason for Beel to say “no”.

“Satan?”

“No objections, so long as we get private time with them too.”

“Then it seems we are all agreed. We will wait to see what they decide.”

————

You wrapped your arms around Dia’s neck as he lifted you up effortlessly and spun you around, the both of you laughing. He was so glad to hear what you desired, and more than happy to do what he could to make that wish come true. You hardly asked for anything for yourself, something he found absolutely charming, but now that you confessed to him that you wanted to be his? He’d give you the whole Devildom if you asked for it. Maybe even if you didn’t.

You hid your face in his neck as you hugged him close. You were pretty sure you must be dreaming at this point, but you didn’t care. You were going to make the most of this dream for as long as it lasted. You still had the other 3 of your beloved demons to talk to, but having Dia on your side made that not seem nearly as scary now. He had given you permission to be yourself, and he didn’t shame you for it, or guilt you into changing your mind. He just listened, and accepted you with open arms.

“I want to suggest we make a break for it, and run off together, but I think Lucifer and his brothers are waiting for us.”

You pulled back to look Dia in the eyes, and smiled at him. He was even more handsome up close, and you couldn’t help but run your fingers through his hair before resting your forehead against his. You wanted to savor this moment for just a little while longer. After you left your room, there was going to be a whole host of things to discuss and negotiate. It might honestly be awhile before you’d get to have some alone time like this with him again, but you knew he was worth it. They all were. You’d figure things out one way or another, of that you were certain.

“Alright, I guess I’ve put this off long enough.”

“I probably shouldn’t carry you into Lucifer’s study, should I?”

“Probably not,” you laughed.

Diavolo set you down gently, only releasing you from his arms when he was sure you were steady on your feet. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead before offering you his hand, and entwining his fingers with yours. He beamed at you, when he caught you staring at your joined hands, lifting them up to kiss the back of the one he was holding. You blushed at the gesture, but couldn’t help but smile when your eyes met his.

“Shall we?” he asked, leading you to your bedroom door.

————

You peered sheepishly around the corner of Lucifer’s study door before entering the room, Diavolo slightly behind you, with one hand gently resting on your lower back to encourage you. As your eyes scanned the room, Lucifer, Satan, and Beel all turned to face you, various expressions of anxiety and excitement written on their faces. You turned back to look at Dia, and he just smiled and nodded at you, guiding you inside.

“Hey…” was all you managed to squeak out.

Not wasting a moment, Beel rose to his feet and wrapped his arms about your shoulders, pulling you to his chest. He kissed the top of your head, before resting his cheek against you.

“I love you,” he whispered, “and I’m fine with whatever you want to do.” You clutched at his shirt in return, relief washing over you. He didn’t ask you any questions, he didn’t pressure you to make a choice. He just supported you like he always did, the same support you gave him. You took a deep breath, breathing in his scent, before slowly pulling away so you could see his face. He smiled at you softly, and you just felt your heart melt. How could a demon possibly be this cute? you wondered.

“I love you too,” you replied, making his smile broaden. You hadn’t said it to him yet, and hearing those words in your voice made him want to jump for joy. Caught up in the moment, you briefly forgot about the others in the room with you, until Lucifer cleared his throat. You blushed heavily when you realized you were being watched, and you could hear Dia chuckling behind you.

Beel let you go, but immediately grabbed your hand and brought you to the chair he had been sitting in earlier. You took your seat, starting to feel a bit nervous again when he stepped back, even if it only was so Lucifer and Satan could have a chance to speak with you.

They were probably the two you were most anxious about speaking with. Their relationship was complicated enough as it was, you weren’t even sure they’d want to stick you in the middle of it.

“We’ll be outside if you need us,” Dia said, more to you than anyone else, as he offered you a smile. Beel nodded to you as well, before slipping out after Diavolo to give you some privacy with Lucifer and Satan.

Lucifer nudged the coffee table over so that it was positioned in such a way that both he and Satan could sit side by side in front of you. Even after he took a seat though, Satan remained a little ways away, silent and watching. Part of Lucifer wanted to chastise him for being stubborn and troublesome, but then he remembered that Satan was the only one to openly confess to you, and as such, probably had a lot more to discuss with you, preferably in private.

“I’ll keep this brief for now,” Lucifer began, returning his attention to you and holding the hand nearest him, “But I too, love you, deeply. And I hope you will accept me. I’m willing to do whatever is needed to insure your happiness.”

You had not been expecting such an open and forward declaration of love from Lucifer, of all demons, but you could see the unbridled passion in his eyes as he looked at you and waited for your reply. All you could do was nod your head, which made Lucifer smirk, pleased that he had rendered you speechless. He leaned forward, kissing you tenderly on the lips. It was only the briefest of touches, but it contained a promise of more that made your heart race.

“We will talk more later,” he said, as he gave you one final kiss to your forehead, turning to look at Satan before he left the room.

Satan kept his eyes trained on the door to Lucifer’s study until he heard the tell-tale “click” signifying it had been locked. He then sighed, his shoulders relaxing, as he turned to face you. His mask, the carefully crafted one he often hid behind in his attempt to control his emotions, crumbled away and you could see just how exhausted he appeared. Your heart ached knowing that you were to blame for that. He had been waiting for your response to his confession for several weeks now, and you had always managed to avoid answering him.

You knew you needed to apologize to him, before anything else, so you stood up and hesitantly moved to stand before him. Fortunately for Satan, even with as close as you were, you were unable to hear the way his heart thudded rapidly against his chest. Or if you did, you didn’t mention it. Instead, you simply reached out for his hands and held them tightly, rubbing your thumbs along his knuckles.

“I’m sorry, Satan. I was...I was scared. And I acted childishly and selfishly. I should have spoken to you…”

Your apology was cut short when you suddenly felt his lips crash into yours. Taking advantage of your surprise, he wrapped one arm around your waist, pulling you close, and with the other he gently cradled your head, holding you in place. It took a moment for your brain to catch up with what was happening, but once you finally realized you quickly looped your arms around Satan’s neck and deepened the kiss. You could feel him smiling against your lips when you did so, happy tears starting to spill from your eyes.

“I love you,” you whispered, when you finally broke away for air, “I’m sorry for not talking to you.”

Satan rested his forehead against yours, his thumb rubbing soothing circles on the back of your neck, “I guess you’ll have to make it up to me,” he teased.

“I guess so,” you laughed, before pulling back to look him in the eyes, “Are you sure you’re ok with this? With Lucifer and everyone I mean.”

“I won’t lie and say I wouldn’t prefer to have you all to myself. But,” he paused, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear, “but I’m willing to work with you, to try to find a compromise we can all be happy with.”

“Really?” you could feel your tears threatening to spill again as your heart started to overflow with joy.

“Really. Will you promise me something though?”

“Of course, anything,” you said, wiping at your eyes, trying to fight off your tears.

“That you will talk with me if things change. And that we will be able to spend time together, just the two of us.”

Your vision blurred with tears, unable to hold them back any longer, “I promise. I’ll talk to you. About everything.”

“Good,” he whispered, gently kissing away your tears as they slid down your cheeks. You couldn’t stop smiling now if you even were to try. You threw your arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as you could manage, hoping to convey even a fraction of your happiness to him. When you felt him hug you back tightly, arms wrapped around your waist, you knew you had been successful.