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“I still hate this,” I said as I walked down the stairs toward the cage in the center of the gym. “Why do I keep doing this?”
Roman tugged me a little closer to his side and kissed the top of my head. “Because you love him,” he replied. He leaned down and whispered in my ear. “And you secretly like the blood.”
“Don’t you dare,” I hissed, punching him in the ribs lightly. “You know I freak out every time he gets out of that cage.”
“When was the last time he lost?” Seth asked from just behind us. It had been a week or so since we’d kissed and were still figuring out how we would manage our relationship. In public and in private. It seemed that we were going to take our time to find our groove and our place in this.
Roman chuckled and looked over his shoulder. “He hasn’t lost since baby girl here started coming.”
Heat rushed into my face. I reached up to tuck my hair behind my ear as my heart skipped a beat. “There was that one against… what’s his face…”
“He didn’t lose that one, Addy,” he teased. “Almost, but he beat the count. Knocked Jones’ teeth down his throat afterward. Literally.”
Seth led the way down the line of chairs toward our usual seats. We’d been to so many fights that they were practically reserved. “You’re his good luck charm.”
“I wish I wasn’t,” I murmured. “I hate seeing him bloodied and bruised.”
Before any of us could say another word, music blared through the room. My chest constricted as my heart pounded against my ribs. I knew that Dean’s fight would be later in the evening, but I still couldn’t get my anxiety under control. I bounced my leg and rubbed my palms back and forth on my jeans. My palms were sweaty. For a moment, I thought I was going to be sick.
“Why didn’t you let me bring my bag?” I grumbled at Seth after the third fight. I’d wanted to bring my backpack to get some reading done before Dean was up. Anything to distract myself from the worry that something would happen.
Seth reached out and curled his fingers around mine. He squeezed my hand and brought it up to his lips. His lips were soft against my knuckles. “Because you’re going to be fine.”
Looking up into his chocolate eyes, I thought for a moment that he was right. For that brief second, my heart settled into a normal rhythm and my agitated movements slowed.
Then they called Dean’s fight.
I gulped hard against the bile threatening to climb up my throat. This was the moment that I dreaded the most. Watching him come into that cage with his fists taped up, his face clear of scrapes, scratches, bruises, and blood. Knowing exactly what was going to happen in the next few minutes was enough to send adrenaline rushing through my veins. I wanted to run, to get as far away as possible. I wanted to slap him with the hope of knocking some sense into him because talking just didn’t seem to work.
Dean appeared from the locker room in his jeans and boots. I couldn’t understand how he could fight in them, or why they allowed him to, but he insisted. At the door to the cage, he toed off his boots and pushed them aside. Barefoot, he walked forward as he rocked his shoulders back and forth. The muscles in his arms and shoulders flexed beneath his skin. He looked toward us, cornflower eyes landing on me. A faint smile curled the corners of his mouth.
Then his gaze drifted, and his smile faded. His lips twisted into a snarl as he slammed the cage door behind him.
“Something’s pissed him off,” Seth said, leaning toward me. “Was he like that earlier?”
I looked toward Dean and then back at Seth. “No. He was… grumpy. Not this.”
“Fuck.” Roman’s voice drew my attention. I turned to him, a question on my lips as I followed the line of his gaze.
Dean stood on the far side of the cage, brows drawn together and jaw set. My stomach turned upside down at the rage in his eyes.
The bell rang and he launched himself at his opponent, right arm already cocked back. The moment he was within reach, Dean threw his body into the punch. It landed square on the other guy’s jaw, knocking his head sideways. He stumbled backward, and Dean followed, pressing him back toward the wall of the cage. Dean beat into his opponent, throwing a series of elbows against the side of his head and jabs into his kidneys.
He backed up, putting space between them. He pivoted on his back foot and let go a kick against the other guy’s ribs. His opponent blocked the kick and swept his other leg out from under him. Dean landed hard on his back, his head bouncing against the mat. I screamed and nearly jumped out of my seat. The sound must have gotten Dean’s attention as he turned his head toward me. His blue eyes were unfocused for a moment before the rage returned to his face and he rolled back onto his shoulders. In the blink of an eye, he had pushed off with his shoulders and hands to kip up to his feet again.
Dean took a deep breath, cracked his neck on each side, and then curled his fingers in a bring it on gesture. I felt sick watching his opponent run at him, throwing elbows against Dean’s jaw. He followed up with a series of body shots that looked like they knocked the wind out of him. A deep red mark started to bloom over Dean’s left kidney and another along his ribs.
My stomach clenched. I gagged. I wanted to run.
Blood oozed from a split in Dean’s lip from one of the elbow shots. He wiped his mouth with his hand, crimson streaking against the white tape. I saw him glance down at it, almost as if he were fascinated at the sight. The distraction was enough for his opponent to throw a cross that rocked Dean’s head up and to the side.
“Dean!” I screamed and lunged toward the cage. My fingers laced through the steel wiring. I couldn’t stop myself, even though I knew that he didn’t need any other distractions. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and dragged me backward, practically ripping my fingers from their hold on the cage. I kicked and fought. “Let me go!”
The arms tightened and tried to turn me around. “Addy. Addy, calm down.” Seth’s voice whispered firmly in my ear. “Relax.”
“He’s hurt. Dean’s hurt,” I whimpered, clawing at Seth’s hoodie covered forearms. “Let me go. He’s hurt!”
“If you don’t calm down, we’re taking you out of here,” he threatened softly. “You’re going to get him knocked out running at the cage like that. Relax, sweets.”
Adrenaline rushed through every cell in my body. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted to run. I wanted to break into the cage to get him out. Even though the rational part of my brain knew that Seth was right, I couldn’t get past the sight of Dean so bloodied and beat up. It hadn’t ever been like this before.
The sound of the bell reverberated through my bones. It sucked the air out of my lungs and the fight from my limbs. I sank back against Seth, grey edging the sides of my vision. I gasped for breath as tears rushed down my cheeks. There was no looking away from Dean as he stood on the other side of the cage. Red marks were already darkening into deep purple bruises. There was a gash on his jaw and another on his cheekbone, both oozing blood as his chest rose and fell as he panted.
Our eyes met. For a moment, I thought I saw Dean’s blue eyes soften behind the obvious pain that clearly ran through his body. He looked back at me. Yearning lanced along my nerves. I just wanted to be where he was. He blinked and glanced away. My heart fell into my stomach as he squared up for the next round. Rage colored his features as the bell rang once again, launching him toward his opponent.
I turned in Seth’s arms and hid my face against his shoulder. “I can’t watch anymore.”
“Come on,” he said soothingly. “We’ll go out to the truck for a minute. Get some fresh air. It might help, sweets.”
It was so hard to turn my back on the cage with Dean still inside. Since that very first time, I hadn’t missed one of Dean’s fights. I’d done everything it took to get there, to see him before he walked up those steps and after he ripped off the tape in the locker room. But now I couldn’t bear to watch. I couldn’t bear to listen, even though the sound of fists on flesh echoed against the rafters. My mind’s eye conjured up the worst possible images as Seth led me toward the exits.
The moment we got outside, I doubled over retching and gagging. Seth rubbed the middle of my back even as he held my hair back with the other. The world spun around me. I couldn’t explain why I felt this way. Why, after all the fights I’d been to and how I’d actually started to enjoy them, I couldn’t bear to watch this time.
“Deep breaths, Addy,” Seth murmured. “You’re good. Deep breaths.”
I reached up and wrapped my fingers around his wrist. “I can’t—”
He shushed me gently. “It’s okay. It’s okay. Deep breaths, sweets.”
Muffled noise erupted from the gym. I could just make out the sound of cheering and the loud dinging of the bell that indicated a fight was over. I practically collapsed onto the sidewalk when I realized what it meant.
“Stay here, just a second. I’m gonna go see what happened.” Seth squeezed my fingers before he went back inside. A few minutes later, he reemerged with Roman in tow. “He won.”
Momentary relief flooded my veins. But Seth’s next words opened the floodgates of worry once again. “He looks like he got run over by a Mack truck. But he won.”
Roman sank into a crouch next to me. “He’s okay, Addy. Dean’s good.”
“Comparatively,” Seth interjected. “Phil’s gonna need six weeks in the hospital and some massive rehab. Dean just broke at least twelve bones in that guy’s body.”
“Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up. You’re not helping.” Roman gripped me by the elbows and pulled me gently to my feet. Everything went grey and hazy as the blood rushed from my head to my feet. If it weren’t for Roman, I would have fallen right back down onto the concrete. “Dean’s fine. He’s a big boy and can take care of himself.”
“I… I-I need to see him,” I whimpered. Before either of them could say a word, I ran toward the doors. My feet carried me away from the gym and down the hallway to the locker rooms. I pounded on the door with the flat of my hand, screaming his name at the top of my lungs.
After a few moments, the door yanked inward. “What?!”
My eyes lifted, taking in each inch of Dean and cataloguing his injuries. There was a rip in the front of his jeans that revealed a raised red welt along his thigh. His torso was crisscrossed with bruises that were already turning purple. The one over his right kidney ran from the base of his ribs all the way down to his hipbone. Another spread down his breastbone, and I swore that it was the size and shape of someone’s foot. His knuckles were busted and bloody. He had a split chin, busted lip, a gash on his jaw and cheekbone, what looked like a black eye, and another cut through his left eyebrow.
Tears filled my eyes, spilling down over my cheeks and dripping onto my shirt. His face blurred, but not before I saw the angry disconnection in his gaze. I reached my fingertips toward his chest. He took a step back.
“Are you okay?” I brushed at the tears and tried to take a deep breath. My clearing vision brought his injuries back into sharp focus.
Dean crossed his arms over his chest, showing off a few other welts on his forearms and biceps. “I’m fine. You can go now. I’m sure they’re waiting.”
I felt myself recoil just as if he’d shoved me. “What…?”
He leaned his shoulder against the door, wincing as it put pressure on the bruise along his side. “Go back to the apartment or the dorm. I’m good. It’s about time you and Seth had a little alone time, isn’t it? That’s your timeline, right? Don’t let me get in the way.”
Before I could say a word, Dean backed away and slammed the door in my face.
