From dating John B and JJ, you have learned many things.
The first is that sharing a house with JJ and John B means mothering them. Constantly.
Reminding them to throw beer cans in the trash and not on the floor.
"JJ," You nudge him with your foot, making him stand up a little straighter.
"Yeah?"
"Throw the can out, boo."
"But--"
"That's how John B sprained his ankle. Get your ass up and chuck it. Please."
Telling them that when they spill water they actually have to mop it up.
"John B, man, I'm sinking into the floor here."
"Wood's probably rotted, don't worry about it. Gonna get this whole place redone once we get the gold."
"Didn't the girlfriend tell you to stop leaving water on the floor--oops."
"Dude!"
"This is why we listen to her. Fuck."
"There's a hole in my floor, JJ!"
"That's not my fault!"
"You jumped on it!"
"How was I supposed to know my foot would go through?!"
Not-so-subtly showing them that if they don't make dinner, they won't eat.
"Hey, Ma, when's dinner?"
"I told you that I wasn't cooking tonight."
"But I'm hungry."
"I told you it was your night to cook, Jay."
"Yeah, but--"
"No buts. If you cook, John B does it tomorrow. We rotate, that's how this works."
"John B! The lady says make dinner!"
"No, I didn't!"
The second is that there's no changing the fact that you're becoming a little bit more of a slob yourself.
Leaving your clothes out and on the floor--it's just sucky to go back and pick them up after your boys get down and dirty, stripping you in the living room.
"JJ, have you seen my favorite panties?"
"No! Ask JB!"
"John B--"
"Back of the couch, and if they're not there, ask JJ! I told you to get 'em!"
Leaving your beer cans stacked up on the porch.
"Baby, what's with the, uh... collection?"
"I'm gonna make a mural."
"Out of beer cans?"
"Hey, I don't trash your beer-can lightsaber."
Hanging out bathing suits to dry until you have none left and have to collect them all.
"Baby, you dropped your top."
"Yeah, I-I can't get it. Will you grab it for me?"
"Sure. Oh, shit, I remember this top! This was the bikini you were wearing when I first met you."
"That's nice, John B."
"Does it still fit?"
"JJ, you're such a pervert!"
"What?! Honest question, Mamas!"
The third is that you love these boys with everything you are, and you're not leaving them. Ever.
