Season 1 Colin : why would I want to fuck around and 'sow my oats' when I can get married and be in love and fuck my hypothetical wife.

Another reason why the #mirrorscene hits differently for me compared to other intimacy scenes in previous seasons (no shade to those either, they all worked really well within their seasons and stories):

There's this moment when Colin gets her permission to touch her, and then his eyes close when his hand moves across her skin. Kudos to the acting by Luke and the way the scene was shot, but the man looks like he is lost in awe and reverence. Like he can't believe he gets to touch her after dreaming of her, like he has to savor every second of it.

And consider it from Pen's perspective. She has been brought up and treated to feel unworthy of love, attraction, taught that she should settle for the first man who'll have her. She was ready to accept a loveless practical match with Debling because she believed true love was a foolish fantasy for someone like her. And then she finds herself with this man who physically aches for her, who is visibly revering her body, who is making sure she knows what an object of sexual and emotional desire she is is.

This is why one kiss from her and sex will never be casual for him anymore. This is why, despite knowing nothing of sex, Pen trusts him completely and lets him guide her through this first time with complete abandon.

Individually, love is a forsaken fantasy for him and an unattainable goal for her. Together, it is worship.

#off for my millionth rewatch

#this sex scene beats all others, fight me

I’m sooooo back!!!!