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One thing I despise is when channels couldn't care less about the role of dispatch. Zero awareness of what our job even entails. Do this, do that. Hello. Hello. VK did you get CCTV to review? Can you call for traffic control? Advise the DVSS? Put this back to pending? TRAP when you're ready? Clear and mobile, ready for next.

I like when it's fast, sure. It feels like driving a fast car. I feel good. But when it doesn't feel like the units are working with me and are rather just talking at me, I start finding the rhythm hard to grasp and it feels like a theme park ride going way too fast for my liking. It becomes physically impossible to keep up and it makes me feel like shit. You cannot ask me to do something if a unit has just asked me to do something. Do not make me create a TRAP or 730 just for you to immediately clear or give results. I will fucking lose my mind.

#vent #police dispatch #dispatch

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Driver: Oh, that UNIT BLOCK job isn't looking very good.

Me, scanning through it: Oof, true. Want me to do checks?

Driver:

Me:

Driver: Ah... if you can beat me to it.

Me, trying to speedrun checks: Oh fuck you, you got a headstart.

Driver, smug: Aaaand done.

Me, looking at the job: No that doesn't count, your checks are lazy checks.

Driver: No I hate the way you all do checks.

Me and Rain: What?!

Rain: The way you supervisors do checks doesn't make any sense.

Me: Ours make way more sense for dispatching!

Driver: Nah yours are shit.

Rain, bursting out laughing:

Me: No way! Fuck you.

Me and Rain: I'm hanging myself right now. /ref

All of us, nearly in tears laughing:

#log #humor #team freak #police dispatch #dispatch

537: VK this is 537, log on when you're ready.

Me, after a bit: VK to 537, good morning! Go ahead with details when you're ready.

537: Good morning, we're strike force OP until 1400... uh... if you can log me on... Sorry— yeah— logon details when ready!

Me: You're alright, go ahead when you're ready.

537: Yeah sorry, need a coffee. Case officer NUMBER, second member PORTABLE— ...Case officer NUMBER with portable PORTABLE-08, [...]

Me: Copied all 537, have a good shift and a good coffee. :)

537, with the other members dying in the background: Hah, cheers mate, we'll see how it goes!

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

Driver, reading a job: "Wants Police to lock him up because he hurt the complainant's feelings"...

Ark: That's an offence!

Driver: You better be careful. If you hurt my feelings I'll lock you up.

Ark and I, laughing:

Driver: Goes both ways though. You could lock me up if I hurt your feelings.

Ark: Hahaha, I'll do a citizen's arrest.

Driver: No, no, you have power to arrest. In the eyes of the law you are a full Police officer.

Ark: Really?

Me: Ark, that's why we had to learn about Police powers and obligations in college.

Driver: You could put me in handcuffs.

Me: For arrest, or..?

Driver: No, for other things. I've got some pink fluffy ones.

Me, laughing:

Driver: You started it. Always in the gutter.

Me: I don't have Rain here to back me up!

#log #humor #team freak #police dispatch #dispatch

UNIT: Sorry, I'm not trynna, obviously, piss people off, but it's... just... yeah. Of an urgent nature.

ME: All is good, I've written it down.

I just always found it funny that the unit was so hesitant to ask for the ambulance to hurry up. I remember thinking, mate, of all people, I think you are one of the few allowed to ask the ambulance to speed it up a little.

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

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Lime: Am I good to log out?

Jen: Yup! Log off and nick off.

Lime: Log off, nick off. 🫡

Me: Logoffnickoff... Sounds like a Russian last name...

Lime: Logoff Nickoff.

Me: Logov Nikov!

Lime: Logoff Nickoffyabitch.

Me: Logov Nikovyavitch...

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

Lime, to a unit over the radio: Your job P number is, P for Potoroo, [...]

Driver, once Lime finished: What P word was that?

Lime: Potoroo. It's a small kangaroo.

Driver: What? You're making that up.

Lime: No, it's real.

Driver: You're spouting bullshit! That's not real. I'm looking this up.

Lime: Go ahead. It is most certainly not bullshit.

Driver: Sounds like bullshitting. If you're lying to me, you're going in the shift report.

Everyone, laughing:

Driver: And if I'm wrong, I'll put myself in the shift report. [...] "A small marsupial related to the kangaroo." Fucking hell, sounds made up.

Sailor: What word'll you use next week?

Rain: He was using 'pheromone' last week!

Driver: P for pedophile next week.

#humor #team freak #log #police dispatch #dispatch

I still remember this well. It was my first pursuit, a little less than a year ago. It was so minor and only lasted a couple of minutes but it was my first one so I was very anxious about it.

———

206: VK this is 206, urgent urgent, pursuit pursuit—

ME: Shit, pursuit, pursuit!

206: —following vehicle with STATE rego of REGO for dangerous driving, currently on ROAD at 50kmph, right hand side of the road,—

SV: Which unit is doing the pursuit?

206: —vehicle is aware of police pursuit with lights and sirens going and refused to stand down. Appears to be 2 heads onboard,—

ME: Uh, I think it's 214?!

206: —continuing at 60kmph in 50km zone, heading towards STREET.

ME: Roger.

SV: Victor, you need to play the pursuit warning.

204: 204 to unit in pursuit, do you require backup?

ME: Y-Yeah, hang on—

206: Negative.

211: This is 211, we're at STREET ahead of the vehicle.

SV: You really need to get that warning going ASAP.

206: Roger. Continuing to pursue at 50kmph.

ME: Roger.

ME: Wait but, does it cut people off while they're talking?

206: 206 turning onto STREET, traffic conditions continue to be good.

ME: Roger.

ME: Ok, whatever, I'll just—.

211: 211, VOI in sight. Following behind.

206: Roger.

ME: All units standby for pursuit warning.

SYSTEM: [Pre recorded pursuit warning]

ME: Oh God, okay, finally that's going.

WC: Who is the primary unit for the pursuit?

ME: Well, I thought it was 214, but they keep coming up as 206 on comms. I don't really know for sure...

206: 206, continuing pursuit at 60kmph.

ME: Roger.

ME: I didn't even get the reason for pursuit.

WC: It was for dangerous driving. They mentioned it right at the beginning.

ME: Ah. Sorry, as soon as I heard 'urgent, urgent,' I was gone.

206: 206 pulling into the servo on STREET beside CAFE with vehicle.

ME: Roger.

SV: Have we confirmed the primary unit?

211: 211 off with 206.

ME: Roger 211.

ME: Sorry, no, not yet.

ME: VK to units involved in pursuit, could you please confirm the callsign of the primary unit?

206: Callsign is 206.

ME: Roger 206.

ME: Ok, it's 206, not 214. Sorry about that.

206: 206 with POIs now— standby.

ME: Roger.

WC: It's alright.

ME: Jesus...

WC: Can we get a sitrep?

ME: Oh, uh, sure.

ME: 206 this is VK, requesting sitrep when available.

206: Roger, we have the vehicle occupants 1 male and 1 female in police custody.

ME: Roger copy.

ME: Huh, thought they wanted us on standby.

208: This is 208— Do those units need assistance with a cage for the POIs?

206: Negative, we've already got a 2 cage, we're good here.

208: Roger.

444: 444 to VK, mark us mobile to ROAD, patrolling for our POI.

ME: ...Already over the pursuit?

ME: Roger 444.

211: 211 to VK, mark us clear and mobile to ROAD for our previous job to patrol for our POI.

ME: Roger 211.

872: 872 to VK, mark us clear as well and returning to location as attached.

ME: Roger 872.

ME: ...When the hell did 872 get involved?

#radio #memorable #pursuit #log #police dispatch #dispatch

#vent #police dispatch #dispatch

•18+ Adults Only

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Driver: Oh, that UNIT BLOCK job isn't looking very good.

Me, scanning through it: Oof, true. Want me to do checks?

Driver:

Me:

Driver: Ah... if you can beat me to it.

Me, trying to speedrun checks: Oh fuck you, you got a headstart.

Driver, smug: Aaaand done.

Me, looking at the job: No that doesn't count, your checks are lazy checks.

Driver: No I hate the way you all do checks.

Me and Rain: What?!

Rain: The way you supervisors do checks doesn't make any sense.

Me: Ours make way more sense for dispatching!

Driver: Nah yours are shit.

Rain, bursting out laughing:

Me: No way! Fuck you.

Me and Rain: I'm hanging myself right now. /ref

All of us, nearly in tears laughing:

#log #humor #team freak #police dispatch #dispatch

537: VK this is 537, log on when you're ready.

Me, after a bit: VK to 537, good morning! Go ahead with details when you're ready.

537: Good morning, we're strike force OP until 1400... uh... if you can log me on... Sorry— yeah— logon details when ready!

Me: You're alright, go ahead when you're ready.

537: Yeah sorry, need a coffee. Case officer NUMBER, second member PORTABLE— ...Case officer NUMBER with portable PORTABLE-08, [...]

Me: Copied all 537, have a good shift and a good coffee. :)

537, with the other members dying in the background: Hah, cheers mate, we'll see how it goes!

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

Driver, reading a job: "Wants Police to lock him up because he hurt the complainant's feelings"...

Ark: That's an offence!

Driver: You better be careful. If you hurt my feelings I'll lock you up.

Ark and I, laughing:

Driver: Goes both ways though. You could lock me up if I hurt your feelings.

Ark: Hahaha, I'll do a citizen's arrest.

Driver: No, no, you have power to arrest. In the eyes of the law you are a full Police officer.

Ark: Really?

Me: Ark, that's why we had to learn about Police powers and obligations in college.

Driver: You could put me in handcuffs.

Me: For arrest, or..?

Driver: No, for other things. I've got some pink fluffy ones.

Me, laughing:

Driver: You started it. Always in the gutter.

Me: I don't have Rain here to back me up!

#log #humor #team freak #police dispatch #dispatch

UNIT: Sorry, I'm not trynna, obviously, piss people off, but it's... just... yeah. Of an urgent nature.

ME: All is good, I've written it down.

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

•18+ Adults Only

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions

Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

Lime: Am I good to log out?

Jen: Yup! Log off and nick off.

Lime: Log off, nick off. 🫡

Me: Logoffnickoff... Sounds like a Russian last name...

Lime: Logoff Nickoff.

Me: Logov Nikov!

Lime: Logoff Nickoffyabitch.

Me: Logov Nikovyavitch...

#log #humor #police dispatch #dispatch

Lime, to a unit over the radio: Your job P number is, P for Potoroo, [...]

Driver, once Lime finished: What P word was that?

Lime: Potoroo. It's a small kangaroo.

Driver: What? You're making that up.

Lime: No, it's real.

Driver: You're spouting bullshit! That's not real. I'm looking this up.

Lime: Go ahead. It is most certainly not bullshit.

Driver: Sounds like bullshitting. If you're lying to me, you're going in the shift report.

Everyone, laughing:

Driver: And if I'm wrong, I'll put myself in the shift report. [...] "A small marsupial related to the kangaroo." Fucking hell, sounds made up.

Sailor: What word'll you use next week?

Rain: He was using 'pheromone' last week!

Driver: P for pedophile next week.

#humor #team freak #log #police dispatch #dispatch

I still remember this well. It was my first pursuit, a little less than a year ago. It was so minor and only lasted a couple of minutes but it was my first one so I was very anxious about it.

———

206: VK this is 206, urgent urgent, pursuit pursuit—

ME: Shit, pursuit, pursuit!

206: —following vehicle with STATE rego of REGO for dangerous driving, currently on ROAD at 50kmph, right hand side of the road,—

SV: Which unit is doing the pursuit?

206: —vehicle is aware of police pursuit with lights and sirens going and refused to stand down. Appears to be 2 heads onboard,—

ME: Uh, I think it's 214?!

206: —continuing at 60kmph in 50km zone, heading towards STREET.

ME: Roger.

SV: Victor, you need to play the pursuit warning.

204: 204 to unit in pursuit, do you require backup?

ME: Y-Yeah, hang on—

206: Negative.

211: This is 211, we're at STREET ahead of the vehicle.

SV: You really need to get that warning going ASAP.

206: Roger. Continuing to pursue at 50kmph.

ME: Roger.

ME: Wait but, does it cut people off while they're talking?

206: 206 turning onto STREET, traffic conditions continue to be good.

ME: Roger.

ME: Ok, whatever, I'll just—.

211: 211, VOI in sight. Following behind.

206: Roger.

ME: All units standby for pursuit warning.

SYSTEM: [Pre recorded pursuit warning]

ME: Oh God, okay, finally that's going.

WC: Who is the primary unit for the pursuit?

ME: Well, I thought it was 214, but they keep coming up as 206 on comms. I don't really know for sure...

206: 206, continuing pursuit at 60kmph.

ME: Roger.

ME: I didn't even get the reason for pursuit.

WC: It was for dangerous driving. They mentioned it right at the beginning.

ME: Ah. Sorry, as soon as I heard 'urgent, urgent,' I was gone.

206: 206 pulling into the servo on STREET beside CAFE with vehicle.

ME: Roger.

SV: Have we confirmed the primary unit?

211: 211 off with 206.

ME: Roger 211.

ME: Sorry, no, not yet.

ME: VK to units involved in pursuit, could you please confirm the callsign of the primary unit?

206: Callsign is 206.

ME: Roger 206.

ME: Ok, it's 206, not 214. Sorry about that.

206: 206 with POIs now— standby.

ME: Roger.

WC: It's alright.

ME: Jesus...

WC: Can we get a sitrep?

ME: Oh, uh, sure.

ME: 206 this is VK, requesting sitrep when available.

206: Roger, we have the vehicle occupants 1 male and 1 female in police custody.

ME: Roger copy.

ME: Huh, thought they wanted us on standby.

208: This is 208— Do those units need assistance with a cage for the POIs?

206: Negative, we've already got a 2 cage, we're good here.

208: Roger.

444: 444 to VK, mark us mobile to ROAD, patrolling for our POI.

ME: ...Already over the pursuit?

ME: Roger 444.

211: 211 to VK, mark us clear and mobile to ROAD for our previous job to patrol for our POI.

ME: Roger 211.

872: 872 to VK, mark us clear as well and returning to location as attached.

ME: Roger 872.

ME: ...When the hell did 872 get involved?

#radio #memorable #pursuit #log #police dispatch #dispatch

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