#poikjd

It is obvious Amanda is a wicked person, she is an abuser and a murderer, rude, cold and mean. She has little empathy for other people, and is shown to be selfish and toxic.

However, Amanda is very much a victim and this is her unhealthy reactions to trauma as well as being manipulated by John into doing these things. And it’s by the end of Saw 3 does Amanda begin to realize how WRONG John is and how much she actually begins to despise him.

Amanda looked up to John, she owed him her life. She saw him as her savior, as a father she never had. Her own father was abusive toward her, and what I believe drove her to her addiction and downfall and the start of her deep rooted trauma. John put her through a life and death scenario (TWICE) and made her believe it made her a better person. That she was ‘instantly rehabilitated’ That she had to follow under him if she ever wanted to be a better person and that salvation was under HIM. He gave her a sense of pride and a fatherhood she desperately always wanted and BELIEVED what they were doing WAS right until ... She realized it wasn’t.

Especially starting with HERSELF that she was still so damaged. She reacts cold and harshly, she lashes out on other people and on herself, but it’s not something she exactly WANTS to do. She’s a wounded animal backed in a corner with NO ONE. The man she trusted with EVERYTHING she realizes is actually corrupt and ‘never actually cared’ about her, and everything they’ve done ‘was a lie’ and they were pointless, cruel murderers.

Now, Amanda’s games were unwinnable, but the four trap victims we see? Let’s look.

Adam - His game I believe wasn’t done on purpose. From how it looked Amanda was just merely careless. And it’s Adam’s death she feels GENUINE guilt over. It keeps her up, gives her nightmares and always HAUNTS HER. Because it was HER FAULT he failed, and that he didn’t get the chance he deserved. So she mercy killed him, crying and sobbing the whole time because she didn’t want him to die a slow, agonizing death. She couldn’t just LET HIM GO because John would know - she had no real choice in her eyes.

Kerry - She’s a cop. What else is there to say. Fuck blue lives. She was investigating the Jigsaw case so why would Amanda give her any sort of leeway? Fuck cops only pig we stan is the chinese zodiac one.

The Guy In The Classroom I Forgot His Name - This is where Amanda’s belief of ‘no one changes’ comes from. She’s had this belief for awhile, and I believe it stemmed not only from Eric Matthews, but also herself. To make his game unwinnable is merely Amanda punishing the other for his crimes and believing he didn’t deserve the life he lived in general. He didn’t deserve a chance because he’s squandered so many of his chances before, and that he’d never change. She played God. In playing God she feels some sort of sense of superiority and relief - her way of lashing out.

Now. Lynn.

Amanda never wanted to actually kill Lynn.

There’s plenty of reasons for this, but let’s first discuss a little bit before we get to that.

Amanda hated Lynn, at least didn’t like her. Even before she got snuggly up with John. Amanda was stressed, John is in pain and dying. She’s about to loose the one last pillar of support she ever got. It isn’t good support at all, she knows it, but it’s all she ever got. it was the BEST she got, so she doesn’t even really REALIZE until much later. Lynn was a woman who ‘abused her medication’ and became a washed up, pretty selfish woman. So, of course Amanda already would find her despicable.

She choked and threatened her before, again, lashing out with violence under stress and panic. She IMMEDIATELY stops once John tells her to, and goes to then HARM HERSELF because she needs that outlet. It’s destructive and toxic.

HOWEVER. When it came to actually having to kill Lynn due to Hoffman’s letter, Amanda hesitated for awhile. Not only because of John trying to talk her into it, but she also noticably handled TRIGGER SAFETY. Her finger wasn’t on the trigger the entire time, but beside it. Amanda was spiraling, finally going off on her pent up anger and emotion and pain. Telling John off, crying and sobbing how broken she is and how there IS no fixing of her. Because NO ONE gets fixed.

When SHE DOES kill Lynn she doesn’t look at her. She faces away with her head hung in SHAME as she pulls the trigger. COMPARE THAT to when she killed Kerry. She watched with a smile, walking in smug and letting Kerry KNOW who killed her. It’s an entire 180 - Amanda didn’t want to kill Lynn.

NOW IN REGARDS TO HER IN DBD.

I believe Amanda kills and sarifices as a way to lash out again, yes , BUT ALSO... I believe it’s her punishment by the entity being forced to continue to do nothing but kill, kill, kill ... Does she REALLY want to? I don’t think so, not entirely. The fact she wears the pig mask, hiding her true identity is in way just shame. She has no REASON to hide her identity in the Entity, plenty of the killers have just their normal ass face out just lookin a little weird and stuff. But she doesn’t.

In the trials Amanda is a different person, and outside I imagine she’s just how she normally is. Still aggressive, but won’t just kill you outright. She keeps everyone at arms length, and considering the other killers aren’t very sociable people it’s easy.