#poglenotes

Feeding your cravings off the addiction of my affliction. Only a cold blooded killer would continue to eat at my heart the way you do.

Your murderous affairs leaving me blowing in the wind, rain soaking my hair.

"Midnights"

She sat down at the table draped in a little black dress that accented her cramine lipstick perfectly well.

Her thoughts lost in the excitment of anticipation as she asked the waiter for a glass of their finest white wine.

Her mind began to wonder if he'd show up.

Sure they'd been out a couple times before, but nothing like this.

His voice was serious and firm when he named the time and place and time in the text.

She began convincing herself with a million little reasons why he would'nt be there; why he shouldn't show up.

"Oh, Well".

She thought to herself.

If it is, if it isn't; she was going to have a nice evening regardless.

Adjusting the watch on his wrist he entered the restaurant and asked the Maitre D' about the reservations he'd procurred several days earlier.

After a bit of confusion the Head Waiter accomodated him perfectly; ushering him to the empty seat across the table from the seat she adorned.

Inside she wanted to jump, but her face wouldn't show anything more than a pleasant smile.

"Glad you could make it" she manged to get out in a controlled fasion.

He looked down at his watch and then back to her eyes commenting in a shy voice:

"On time, I didn't want to rush in - you know what they say?"

She laughed and said "no, no I don't know what "they" say"?

He smiled and said " You know, only fools rush in..."

they both laughed a bit. It broke the ice, as he wondered if she'd get the Elvis song reference.

It didn't matter if she associated it with that or the Sandra Bullock movie, he knew she understand the heartfelt intent.

Or hoped she did.

As the initial smiles wore from their face the waiter appeared at the table (it is amazing how they always show up at the perfect time during these perfect scenes) and asked the gentleman if he'd like anything to drink; while placing the menu in front of both of them and highlighting the Chef's suggestions for the evening.

He looked at her glass sitting there and told the waiter:

"I'll have the smoothest red blend you have" to which he resonded;

"I have the perfect selection in mind sir, please look over the rest of our cuisine".

He picked up the menu as she did the same.

He started to glance across the options on the page, but his mind could not rest. Was she even happy he was there? Or was she just hoping it was another night she could chalk up early to go hang out with her friends?

Was all he could think about.

He glanced up from the page hoping she wouldn't notice, and saw a slight grin gracing her cheeks; as she too pretended to stare at the options as well.

He went back to looking at the choices before him - he laughed to himself; as thoughts of her and their last few meetings crossed his mind.

She smiled and looked up towards the candle lit at the middle of the table and mentioned - "so many options, they all look so delicious".

He hid his blush and smiled a bit before looking back at her;

"I too find it quite delectable".

She smiled a bit wider before he caught himself;

"The Menu. I Mean"; he asserted as the moment went silent.

They set the empty paper's down at their plates and glanced at each other for a moment.

She picked up her glass of white wine and pressed it to her lips in order to contain the bigger laugh her gut wanted to wrench out from the nervous tension of the moment. The knot she knew they both felt, but neither would admit.

She took a small sip; leaving a perfect velvet stain at the edgs of the glass from the carmine lipstick that complemented her sheer black dress.

He couldn't help but notice her pretended subtlness as he drank from his chalet as well, "a bouquet so gorgeous served up to them", he thought as he took a drink.

Just then the server arrived to take their orders. He of course motioned that she, should first make the selection as pleased her palette. "I'll have the souris d’agneau." she said without missing a beat.

He followed with "poisson rouge" and another glass of your finest wine.

He leaned back into the chair picked up his glass and scanned the room; he realized she'd been here more than a time or two so he played it slower than normal.

He understood what it was like to be on that side of negotiations more time than anyone wants to admit. The ones that leave you broken, crying on the cold hard ground of life at the whims of ignorances arms.

She couldn't put up with tension anymore, grabbing her glass she took a deep quaff and set it firmly on the table.

She leaned in and stared at him dead in the eyes and said "Look, let's cut the B.S.! What do you say YOU and I "table" the games and talk about how it IS or IS'NT gonna be in this contract!?".

He took a slow drink and didn't let an expression of any kind cross his face. His mind thought "this is a woman who's been burned by boys for far too long", but he said nothing. He set his glass down and looked at her, he said; "look, I want nothing but your time. When you have it; I don't make contracts with women, just men".

Just then, the waiter arrived (see perfect timing again!) bringing out their dinners.

They began to play the appreciation game.

Hiding their quaintences of the table discussion.

We all know the ones where nothing we just said happened and what's in front of us is the "moment".

They spent the next many minutes playing the game of pleasantries most of us know as "small talk", about the food and how delicious the evening was; like nothing before had happend - we all know how it goes.

After a while, the waiter came and took their plates away.

Wiping away the reminants of the moment with his napkin, he broke the silence required of divulging in a feast fit for groomed people before speaking words:

""Contract?" he said. "My apoogies." I don't do contracts.

I do relationships; sorry if details got mixed up.

She grabbed the glass of wine and took a big drink, this statement took her aback a bit as she coughed setting it down; a bit surprised.

He continued, "take from me what you want, if it gets to burdensome I'll let you know. And oh yeah, I only have one rule." "But for now I have to go" he mentioned after looking down at his watch.

"Don't worry, it's all takin' care of". he assured her as he got up from his chair.

She said "Wait!. I'll walk you out?" as she stood up from the table recovering from her last drink.

He looked back and said, "No. Please lady, let me walk you out". And stood up waiting for her hand to clasp his.

They made their way to her car after leaving the restaurant, and felt themselves in that uncomfortable spot between a kiss and the words "goodnight".

She leaned back into the driver's side door with her hand hid behind the handle; ready to squeeze it into an escape, when he pressed his chest into hers.

His lips danced across the bottom of hers for moment before latching on to that final embrace. His hand worked slowly down the waterfall curls that graced her cheeks.

His thumb gently caressing the point where the jaw hugs the chin; when he felt her lips go from firm to soft in an instant of that goodnight kiss...and with that slight breath; yet not fully embrace he whispered "I hope to see you again" as the she sucked the last words right out of his breath; before parting for the night.

She sunk down into her seat and realized she knew what it was, she was in love...

[I could play a million greats to accompany this "moment" and this is just two, one or three of them ladies and gentlemen] -

He had forgotten some clothes in the dryer when going back to the laundry room for them, she bumped into his chest on her way out. A bit shocked she looked up and captured his eyes. The words of apology were frozen at the tip of her tongue as she looked at him. At what seemed like eternity, but in fact only mere seconds went by, "the same things as that first time...", she thought.

She forced a smile and laugh that nervous kind that gives you an excuse all girls use when they are becoming women. Like the voices of all teenagers force to shed once they become aware that suddenly, some moments have the feelings of intimacy attached. She looked past him and began to move towards the door as her nervous laugh became still air.

He begins to apologize "look, I'm really sorry" he said with her cutting him off before he finished. "It's no big deal" she forced out. He started to laugh and said, not for bumping into you, she looked at him with curiosity, "No, I'm sorry I didn't introduce myself before

He was right, he had been living above her mother's garage for three months already. In fact her mom forced them out together one night during the first week of moving in, but the two could never seem to make schedules work for some excuse or another.

"I got this bottle of wine, and it's gonna go bad if I don't finish it tonight, why don't you come up and help me with it?" he managed to ask with an undetected fein of confidence.

"I have a prior engagement, but I suppose washing my hair can wait.." is all she said before he jumped in with, "oh, that's all right, I will just tell the wine and beer you had better things to do. They both laughed a bit unsure if the banter was to dorky or not; easing the embarrassment they felt she finished "...no, tell them I wouldn't miss it for the world. What time? Not even aware that with the turn of a few words she took a dorky situation and was turning it hot. "How about, not one minute before you're ready. Just come on up, I will be around. She blushed and walked away as he grabbed the clothes that got him in this mess.

A little while later he heard the sound of a patter at his door. That kind of knock one gives themselves to be rid of the guilt of trying, but offered in hopes they don't hear to answer. Just as she finished the courtesy rap and was counting off the seconds due of respect in her mind, he grabbed the knob, welcoming her in.

She brushed past him and into the living room, he shut the door and turned to walk towards the kitchen. "Please, feel free to make yourself comfortable, I just have a couple things to finish in here. She started looking at some of the hangings on his walls "what? No grand tour of the bedroom first?" she quipped hiding the hesitation behind her words. A smile force through his jaw despite every strength he tried in holding it back, maintaining his composure.

"Well, that was the plan, but then I didn't think we should wake my girlfriend" he finished while walking out with two glasses of red wine. He handed her one with a smile and continued, "but, if it's not a problem for you..." fell from his tongue as he went back to the kitchen one brought out a short charcuterie board and set it on the coffee table in front of her while taking a seat next to it. She started to force out some generic words hoping to break the awkward silence when he finished a drink from his glass, interrupting her he said " I'm really sorry to have been ignoring you since that first night, it's just...", her head started to look up from her lap attempting to meet his eyes.

"...it's just something happened when we first met, reservations, I couldn't ignore. And that just made everything about you more awkward. It was easier to act like it never happened". By now he had her attention and instead of looking at her forehead they were talking to each other. The acknowledgement itself seemed to relax her a bit and the tenses of her guarded posture seemed to ease as she leaned back into the vision and took another drink.

He took this as a sign and moved, positioning himself on the open spot next to her on the couch. She finished her sip, "No, I could have handled it better too" she extended as a peace offering. "It's just, my mom..." she sighed as her cell phone began to vibrate her purse. Forcing it to silence she tossed it back into her bag. "It's just my mom's excitement can sometimes be overbearing; and it ruins thing before they can even get started. Then in times like that, I'm stuck embarrassed the rest of the night, making things not so much fun for anyone".

Her voice began to to silence down with shyness as he reached in to pick at the cheese and crackers on the board. He laughed a bit "I definitely picked up on that". She began to growl a string of verbs with a low purr towards the reminder the discussion was bringing up. "Look, you can't get upset for someone who honestly has your best always in thought. Besides it's not her fault we couldn't figure out how to overcome embarrassment with each other that evening".

He grabbed their glasses and walked in to refill them, emptying the bottle. When he came out he was surprised to find her more relaxed, her demeanor seemed to take an aura, there was something about the inconspicuous effort to exude an aroma of confident sexiness through the room. His mind raced through a rolodex of historical moments as he noticed this when giving back her glass. As the music filled the room...

He sat back down and was about to speak when she said "so, what should we do about this?" The way she made it seem so effortless mixed with the physical parts of childhood that hadn't fully shed her. Even still at 22 many of them lingered around her being. He reached by her leg to grab a couple bites from the meat and cheese tray. "I think we've already started" he said.

"But that's not why I asked you here tonight" he said. She sat up and leaned towards him a bit, her fingers suggestively dancing across his knee as she took another sip and reached for more cheese, "oh, yeah? What'd you have in mind then?" she finished as nervous but willing grin came across her lips. He cut the drink of short, a bit surprised at her seductiveness.

He only reasoned from her initiation an appropriate response of touch was a welcome invitation to get closer to her made it all right that his brushed her cheek as his thumb gently traced the bottom of the chin. Just then, her phone began vibrating again, and they both laughed in disbelief. Once she would silence it though, not five seconds later it would go off again, four times it did this before finally shutting it off. Tossing it back down finally, she attempted to regain composure and started with "so, where were we exactly?".

He tried to keep back his smile, but it was to hard, partly slipping from his lips. Grabbing the two empty glasses and taking them to the sink, he walked quickly back. He reached down and grabbed her hand to help her stand up, she seemed a bit confused as she started to get up. He had positioned himself just right so she would have to move closer into his chest when as she did.

Once they both had become erect, he guided her eyes to his and began "He said, it's just that first time, when I first saw you, something happened with space and time, something I'd only ever read about. And when that, that realization hits, there is something you have no control over that can hurt you more than death. I wasn't sure, if I could chance life to explore that feeling about you." She blushed a bit and glanced away from his eyes, wanting to interrupt him to offer a way out, signaling it was OK to leave some things unspoken. Besides, that's not even how the script reads.

"I know he circle, I know the pain and the excuse of growth evil uses to believe it's ok. And I can play it well, but not with you, any games would just be fake." By know her lips seemed guided by invisible forces into his, leaning in just as their lips met, he stepped back and smiled. "Not yet." he said smiling slightly and guided her to the door. "You should probably go tonight." if his voice sounded disappointed, he couldn't he was saying it himself, any other girl would have been easy, but not her.

More puzzled, he began to smile bigger "Everything was perfect tonight, and I'd like to continue this tomorrow. And I bet your mom is probably at her limit of you ignoring her calls". The sudden reference to her mom broke the seriousness and they both have it a hushed laugh as sighs of relief. He opened the door, "so tomorrow night?". "Yeah, tomorrow, what time"? "I'll call you early". As the dialogue quieted down, there was a stillness as one last glance locked them in stillness as she turned and walked away.

He blushed, shook his head and shut the door as she disappeared into midnight.

“Sorry if I got wrapped up in the web your heart left”

Here’s something I’ve learned in the last four+ yrs.

No matter how you define wealth or success, none of it means anything if when you turn around there’s no one there to share it with.

Someone to stand with you when all the chips are in and the rest of the world has turned its back on you.

Someone who doesn’t want to beat you down, judge or use you like capital or product to be sold.

Someone who just wants you just for the beauty of being you.