Dear kids I'll never have:
The doctors say you are impossibilities.
Meanwhile, two more women in my family just got pregnant.
Am i jealous?
i have over twenty niblings, that is, nephews and nieces who are like siblings to me.
But they all moved away. I only get to see them through screens.
I had a dream last night that somehow, my husband got me pregnant.
I felt guilty from the relief of waking up barren.
My body is burnt out from fighting cancer for 7 years now.
I have, all in all, given birth to myself several times.
I've let my body break and painfully mend repeatedly.
My body can't sustain any extra life.
This is curious to me, as a woman who questions everything.
Of all the things cancer took, my fertility is the least of my issues.
I lost my sexuality, but maybe it was a good thing.
i'm discovering my asexuality. And it's a good change.
As an ace, I actually feel more comfortable.
I regret all the mistakes i made just because i was horny.
But i guess that's normal.
I wish i could have had kids. I know I'd have been a good mom.
I barely have the energy to take care of myself.
You're just going to have to be born without my crappy genes.
Maybe you'll read this and get something from it.
Love you.
